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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi, everyone. My daughter is 18 and I think she has depression and possibly social anxiety disorder. She cries all the time and has no explanation for what's wrong. She's normally an A and B student but her grades have been slipping badly, she's almost failed two classes, and she doesn't participate in extracurriculars anymore (she used to be on the volleyball and cross-country teams). I've talked to her about how she's feeling and mentioned depression but she refuses to go to the doctor. She's terribly self-conscious and nervous around people other than her family and gets embarrassed and upset very easily. She's mentioned that she would like to re-join the cross-country team but is too embarrassed to even go jogging around our neighbourhood (she doesn't like people looking at her). I'm so worried about her but I don't know how to help.
 

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Can you somehow coax her into therapy? Tell her it's ok and that she shouldn't feel embarassed about being depressed, everyone gets that way at some point.

I sure hope this passes for her soon
 

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I've been there myself,
to you and your DD. Depression feels like the horrible feelings will never end. Perhaps, on a day when she's a little 'up', you can convince her to go to a DR.

Is she open to alternative therapies? You should try posting in 'health and healing' for some good ideas
remember, this too shall pass, but she does need to get some kind of help. Homeopathy is really good for treating disorders such as this, but you have to find a good DR.

Good luck
 

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I've been where she is, too. The best thing is to not make her feel like a freak for being depressed, my family treated me like I was terminally ill. I think that alone has had repercussions even seventeen years later. And I went to a therapist at $100 a session, total waste of money. Two different therapists did nothing to help me find the cause of my depression. I think if she is embarassed to go jogging around the block maybe offer to go with her so she doesn't feel so self conscious, or take her to a trail that's not crowded. I used to run only at night because I didn't like people to see me. (Not the best solution for a young lady). One thing that I always wanted to do but never had the funds was to go on a Outward Bound expedition. The program is designed to build self confidence while gaining valuable skills in outdoor recreation and teamwork. Maybe she would be interested in something like that?
Andi
 

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Is this something that has been normal and growing steadily for a while, or something you just kind of really noticed one day?

I ask because when I was 18, I was raped and didn't tell my parents or anyone for that matter, until they realised I hadn't been out of my room in almost a week and hadn't eaten in longer... and this was 3-4 months after the fact.

not saying anything like that happened to your dd, but there may be something that disturbed or traumatised her somehow that is behind her depression and slipping grades.

If so, you can ask in a non-invasive way if there is something disturbing her that she needs to talk about, and it doesn't have to be to you, but it would be good to talk things out with someone, or to write it out just for herself could be very healing - depending on the kind of person she is. I was pretty dang antisocial and unable to talk to anyone, but was able to find a counselor that I never had to see face to face, and I just wrote my experiences and my feelings, and faxed them to him... he'd send a reply fax or email, asking how I remembered x and such, or why do I feel this way about this, or what do you feel about that? and I would write the answers out for myself... didn't always send them to him if i felt I had closure on that part


and I'm rambling....

I hope you can help her
 

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I think pp has some good advice. After thinking about your dd today I was wondering if there was something that happened recently that would start the downward spiral. Has she lost a good friend to a family relocation? Maybe some boy really hurt her feelings? With my depression (I was 13) it started when my family stopped going to our summer cabin and I was left with no friends where we lived even though I went to school there. I only realized this in the past year that I was depressed because I just wanted someone to notice that I wasn't my same old self. I needed attention and getting sick was my way of getting it. Perhaps your dd is worried about finishing H.S. and not knowing what her life will be afterwards. Anyways, I wish the best of luck to you both since depression can be so daunting.
Andi
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you ladies so much for your help.

This has definitely been growing steadily. There hasn't been anything traumatising that I know about, but of course that doesn't rule it out. I'm going to talk to her some more about it today. I'm wondering if she has depression due to social anxiety.
 
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