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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyone dealing with depression already? Anyone dealt with postpartum depression?

What are your best tips to survive it.

I think I'm dealing with a mild depression right now, for the very first time in my four pregnancies. I feel a little lost and my husband has no clue on what to do to help. Any words of wisdom will be appreciated!
 

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I just started counseling to help me. I do not have depression but I have massive anxiety (panic attacks and what not) and that leads to me feeling down and helpless. 2015 brought a lot of weird and stressful changes to my life that the midwives thought would be worth getting counseling just to manage would be good. I found a lady that was very sympathetic and even cut her rate in half because I was pregnant (even though I told her I would pay the full rate). She seems very eager to help me through all this stuff so I can go into this baby with good coping skills and plenty of support. Even just seeing her once has made me feel more hopeful for the future.
 

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Hugs alada.... I'm glad you are able to recognize that may be what's going on, as often that's the hardest step!

I had a bit of a roller coaster post partum the first time. Mostly just very weepy for the first couple weeks (which can be normal) but occasional psychotic thoughts (if I just held the baby underwater she would stop crying.... And honestly I didn't even have a very fussy baby!) that I never acted on but truly scared me. I had never had such thoughts before in my life and I attribute it purely to the hormonal upheaval. I was also very alone, and I think that was a big factor.

There are definitely times for professional help. But even in those cases - and this may be enough in milder cases - other steps can help a lot, like making sure you have good community support and not spending lots of time isolated (especially with a new baby), getting sunshine and exercise every day, eating well... The basics of human well being that can seem impossible at such times! (That's where you enlist your husband: these are things I need to do to make sure I'm taking care myself and can continue to function and care for our family.... Please help make sure I'm doing them!)

Recent research has also begun to show that probiotics and their influence on the flora of one's gut as well as the bacteria found in the soil (that one picks up naturally gardening) may play a significant role in mental well being, so although there's no specific recommendation based on that yet, it would make sense to include fermented foods and gardening as part of a wellness plan.

Not only that but my family was interested to read in Dr. Weston Price's research that he found an association between traditional, nutrient dense diet and not just dental health but also mental health! So there's another plug for eating well.... I think so much of what plagues North America in particular could be fixed with better diet!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks lily for the ideas, I was just reading a thread about nutrition last night. I think once I'm on maternity I need to start doing some more research on it and get to it.

I'm already dreaming of gardening while on maternity, now I have a stronger case for it!
 

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Anyone dealing with depression already? Anyone dealt with postpartum depression?

What are your best tips to survive it.

I think I'm dealing with a mild depression right now, for the very first time in my four pregnancies. I feel a little lost and my husband has no clue on what to do to help. Any words of wisdom will be appreciated!
Consulting with a counselor may be supportive, as well as taking flower essences.
 

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Is she putting you on meds? Or just therapy?

Hugs to you!
No meds for now. She wants to do a type of therapy called EMDR which is supposed to help with trauma and anxiety which is specialized to me, but so far we've just been doing regular counseling and honestly, just talking candidly about all my worry and stress has made a HUGE impact on me. Before talking to her, I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything outside of the base minimum required to live (eat, work, sleep). But slowly I have been feeling just more.... able, if that makes sense. Just talking to her I feel like is giving me that stress relief that I haven't gotten from my SO. Not that my SO isn't wonderful, he is, it's just one of those things I think.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
No meds for now. She wants to do a type of therapy called EMDR which is supposed to help with trauma and anxiety which is specialized to me, but so far we've just been doing regular counseling and honestly, just talking candidly about all my worry and stress has made a HUGE impact on me. Before talking to her, I couldn't bring myself to do much of anything outside of the base minimum required to live (eat, work, sleep). But slowly I have been feeling just more.... able, if that makes sense. Just talking to her I feel like is giving me that stress relief that I haven't gotten from my SO. Not that my SO isn't wonderful, he is, it's just one of those things I think.
It sounds great and encouraging. Good luck on your therapy.

Talking does help, I might have to start doing some serious research about my options.
 

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I'm so glad the counseling is helping Stepgirlfriend! Sometimes just getting the worries out there in a supporting atmosphere makes such a difference. (Remembering my panic upon learning I was pregnant in the middle of the night and my DH shrugging and saying, 'Oh, a baby. Yay!' and going straight back to bed!)
 

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maybe someone can help me...I have a five year old and I've NEVER talked to any other moms who have suffered with PPD. I told my family but by the time I stopped being stubborn and acknowledged it was PPD, it went away. I hate how I suffered, how everyone suffered and how my baby felt. one of the worst moments that haunts me, as I tear up typing about it, even though it wasn't true, I know it was my condition but my son was two months old, I got up early with no sleep, changed his diaper but I looked at him and said "I hate you"...how COULD I say that?? I felt so much guilt and shame immediately, I hated myself. years later, I wonder how THAT will or has affected his subconscious. in all these five years, I have not been perfect, I've hated how I've handled things, the bad habits I'm letting go from my parents. do you think any damage done is too late to fix? I have a beautiful and happy and loving little boy but as his mother, I just hate any pain I've caused by being imperfect :( what do you do??
 

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I just hate any pain I've caused by being imperfect :( what do you do??
No one is perfect, however cliche that is to say it's so true. I have an 8 year old step daughter and I've definitely handled things the wrong way and done things I regretted in the time I've been mother to her but she still tells me she loves me and will give me a hug and a kiss everyday and I do the same to her. For me it was really important to move forward from this thought of "I'm not good enough" or "I am incapable".

Regardless of what you said to him at 2 months, he is 5 years old now and I just don't think that hanging onto that awful feeling is doing you any good. There's no reason to keep beating yourself up for past things. I'm a big fan of seeking counseling because talking things out and getting perspective has always helped me so that's what I would suggest to anyone else. Remember, it doesn't have to be PPD for you to get help. The happier and healthier you are, the clearer your mind will be to handle the important things in your life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Mama_Em, big hugs to you!!!

Being a mom is just so hard, we always second guess ourselves. We have that internal fight all the time, between what I want and what I need to give my little one. I agree with stepgirlfriend, there is noone perfect.

I certainly have no idea if what you thought-said-did when he was 2 mos old has an effect, but I believe you have power now. You can talk to him about how hard it was, but at the end it was worth it. Focus on the bright side, not only for him, but for you as well. If you feel down right now, it might be a good time, to spend it pouring some mama love and looking for some help.
 
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