[Mother2Amaya]

My dd is 8 months. I was under the impression that they don't know right from wrong and can't manipulate you at this age and I AP... I run to her every time she cries.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm making a mistake. I don't feel like I am but today on the way back from the grocery store, she screamed. incessantly.

She wiggled OUT of the carseat, almost into the floor, the whole time, screaming. I had to pull the car over in the rain and get out in traffic to replace her and tighten the straps even tighter. She continued to scream. She had toys, books, a bottle, everything she needed. I have no idea what it was. She hates the car seat but today was just insane.

I almost pulled my hair out. I feel guilty because I raised my voice at her. I was so close to losing self-control with the screaming!

Is she too young to discipline at this age? We live with my MIL and she gives me really rancid advice about how I need to put her in a playpen and let her cry all the time. She says she is "spoiled" and that she is "playing you guys because she knows she can and she has you wrapped around her little finger."

After today, I'm wondering if she's right?

:

 

[DaryLLL]

No. You can't discipline an infant by letting her CIO.

As far as the carseat, maybe she was in pain? Tummy? Getting a cold? Teething? Very very bored? Overtired from running holiday errands in crowded stores? Claustrophobic? Etc.

 

[cianistarle]

I could have writen this post a few months ago. Just wanted to let you know that it does get better, even if you continue to 'spoil' them. My DD SCREAMED in the car seat every time from 5-15 months, then one day she stopped. She just sits back there and enjoys the ride! She got old enough to realize what the deal with the car is, and that she will get out when we get there and not before.
My DD always gets picked up and entertained and spoiled etc. She is a really good baby now. IMO they are still trying to learn how the world works and its hard for them. There is sometimes a gap b/t what they want and what reality is. I might be a bad mom, but i am super sweet 99% of the time, but i have screamed in frustration at the kids. After the first time this happened, i called my LLL friends and told them that i yelled at the baby and they all started laughing. It happens. And the first time you actually yell at the toddler is the hardest. They are transitioning from baby to little toddler. Im not saying its ok to yell at kids, i'm just saying that it can happen once in a blue moom.
So what was your question? LOL. No, i think 8 months is too young to worry about dicipline, you arent spoiling her, and this too shall pass. Hugs mama!

 

[SEEPAE]

you definitely need to tighten those straps! they should never be loose, you should always be able to only get 1 finger between her sholder and the strap.

after that, I still believe they are too young at that age to know. You cant spoil with love, you spoil with goods

Have you tried playing a CD or tape? DS has a "car CD" that I play only in the car, its the soundtrack to 'city of angels' and we've used it since he was about 3 months old. We no longer need to use it, we havent needed to for a while, he is 17months old still rear facing and is always perfectly fine in the car, use to hate it when he was an infant but now is indifferent

 

[Mother2Amaya]

Thanks everyone. I take everything MIL says with a grain of salt and nod politely.

I think sweetpea was tired. Plus it was raining and so I think she was freaked out by the rain hitting the car... who knows.

I have tried the CD thing... sometimes she seems more interested in chewing on the CDs than hearing them.

As far as the car seat, it seemed very tight to me - she just switched to a forward facing one... I'll have to recheck it. She fights me every time I try to get the straps on her so I think that loosened them when I was fighting with her.

 

[SEEPAE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mother2Amaya she just switched to a forward facing one...

Im sorry but at 8 months they should NEVER be foward facing, please read this http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html and this http://www.parentsplace.com/babies/s...=adid=12566311 and for more information please go here http://www.car-safety.org/
it strongly saddens and upsets me to know there is a BABY forward facing, it is so potentially dangerous and could be fatal!

 

[mraven721]

It sounds to me like you need to make an appointment with a car seat tech. Everything I read says to wait till a minumin of 1 year and 20 lbs. And I do not beleive that a child can ever wiggle themselves out of their car seat if properly placed inside. Her saftey needs to come first.

 

[rainbowmoon]

I don't think you need to worry about discipline with an 8mo just yet. she's just not going to understand. plus she's not doing anything wrong! please make sure you tighten those straps!

 

[newmainer]

for clarification, did you mean that you turned her forward, or she's out of an infant carseat and is in a larger one that *can* be turned forward?

 

[Mindy70]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mraven721 It sounds to me like you need to make an appointment with a car seat tech. Everything I read says to wait till a minumin of 1 year and 20 lbs. And I do not beleive that a child can ever wiggle themselves out of their car seat if properly placed inside. Her saftey needs to come first.

Call your local sherrif's or police department- ours offer free car seat checks and installations. There is no way an 8mth old can get out of she is in properly, and if the straps are coming loose while she is wiggling around, that car seat is defective or you are using it wrong.

As for the screaming- dd did it too, it will pass, I promise

 

[IncaMama]

8 mo don't need discipline, imo...and please keep your child rear-facing for at least another 4 months! i have the largest/longest/heaviest child on the friggin planet it seems (over 100th % for everything, all his life), and even he made it rear facing well past a year. it is simply absolutely 100% UNSAFE to have an infant forward facing.

i'm sure you're a wonderful mommy, you need to trust your instincts...don't listen to your MIL!! If i remember correctly, you're living with her right? i know it must be so stressful....hang in there!!!

 

[Ruthla]

You've gotten great advice about the carseat so far- if she can wiggle out then she's not in properly! I know how those convertible seats can be difficult to adjust when they're in the rear facing position (and I certainly hope she's RF at 8mo!!) Also, keep in mind that bulky coats can affect how the carseat fits. You may need to get her something not so bulky or take the snowsuit off when she goes into the carseat.

Back to your original question: Do 8mo need to be disciplined? IMO, yes. The first time your baby pulls your hair or pulls off your glasses you say "ouch!" and move her hand away, you're disciplining. When she bites your nipple and you take her off the breast and tell her "no biting", you're disciplining her. When you tell her not to eat soap or swallow pennies you're disciplining her. When she throws a cheerio on the floor and you take the bowl away before she can throw any more, that's also discipline!

If by "discipline" you mean "punish" then 8mo is definitely too young!

 

[sparklemom]

Your baby is doing nothing "wrong" at all by being upset in the car seat. She is expressing her feelings. Even though you aren't able to understand exactly what is upsetting her, something clearly is. Respect and trust her...always. Believe no one that speaks ill of her, saying that she's acting up or manipulating you.... Be her biggest advocate on this planet and always believe the best about her. Everyone has bad moments. Roll with it and move on.