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Desperately need support on choosing to continue breastfeeding!

993 Views 24 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  Tummy
Hey mommas! This might be long, but ill try to keep it short and to the point

My dd was born at home 6 months ago as of the 20th of april. She has been a great baby, only a little colic and oh so independent. I have been fighting post partum depression tooth and nail and started zoloft About 2 months ago. I thought i was finally starting to live again but am still dealing with parts of it. My daughter has been a lazy nurser since birth. An overactive letdown only made her mad. And she since has continued to only want to nurse for about 7 mins tops at every feeding. Her latch has never been great, but we've done lots to improve upon it. Over the past 3 weeks I have come to DREAD nursing. I would rather pump then actually sit down and nurse. I dont understand this at all. My oldest dd was nursed until SHE self weaned at 18 months. I loved EVERY moment of nursing and cried for days when she stopped asking for it. I expected the same wonderful lovey nursing relationship this time around.

Today I actually asked my dh to get formula at the store GASP!
He of course didnt bring it back as he doesnt understand why we would even need any formula as I have "2 very functional and pretty breasts" as he said.
My milk supply has dramatically dropped, to the point of it taking a few minutes of her suckling to even bring my milk in which only proceeds to frustrate her. Which is not helped by the fact that we are just starting to get over a 6 day nursing strike. I am also having problems with a recent diagnoses of hyperthyroidism and am so tired allllll of the time. I have every excuse in the books to just stop breastfeeding as im starting to resent nursing at the tip of my tongue, but feel SOOO guilty.

I need help! Please ladies give me all the reasons and postitive affirmations as to why formula is NOT an option for my dd! I know it all and have often times been so infuriated by women who just choose not to bf because of the exact same reasons i think to myself! And im hoping once i hear those reasons coming from someone else, ill come out of this slump. All my mommy friends just dont understand and the few i have confided in only tell me "Well you've made it this long. A 6 month start is better then none."
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It's normal to feel "down" sometimes- if women only nursed their babies when they enjoyed doing so, there'd be a lot fewer BF babies in this world!! You're not a "bad mama" for resenting the nursing sessions- or even for resenting your children at times. It just makes you human.

As for the change in nursing behavior- it's not necesarily due to lowered milk supply. It could be that your DD is teething or coming down with a cold. Or maybe your supply has finally "leveled out" and she's not used to it yet. Although, it IS possible that the thyroid issues are affecting your milk supply- are you working to get that under control now? It also sounds like your PPD may not be completely under control, and you might need your medication adjusted.

You know all the reasons to BF your baby. You feel guilty thinking about weaning because you KNOW that weaning is the wrong thing to do.
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Are you familiar with kellymom?

or LLL?

if you look up "nursing strike" at either of these websites you will find information and support.

Untreated thyroid issues can also cause a drop in milk supply.

Good luck!
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I would suggest getting some support in real life, ASAP. LLL is a great place to start. Give a leader a call, and just talk. Share some of your concerns and troubles.

Is there any way you could slow your life way down and just focus on getting nursing back on track? Maybe give dh some extra responsibility. He sounds like he is supportive (which is're very lucky!). Even just a weekend where you spend time nursing and resting could help.

Please take care. You really are doing what's best for your baby by nursing. Take it one day at a time.
You CAN do it! First off- go read the ingredients in formula. Ick. You don't want that crap in your sweet baby. Sounds like she's an efficient nurser. Lots of older babies nurse quite well in just 5-10 minutes.

Here are some dancing veggies to cheer you on!

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You are a great mommy and you are doing great.....just because you have down moments means nothing because you notice it and get right back up! proud of that overcome is the strongest thing anyone could do and you are doing it

You know the drill....You know why your breast milk is better for your baby so go look in the mirror when ever you need a pep talk and tell yourself what you need to hear. And if you need more ask us and we will tell you

I like the suggestion of maybe going to LLL meetings too because that is face to face help

We support you and you can pick yourself back up and continue on, becuase one thing I know for certain is women are the strongest and without us the world would fall
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if she has plenty of diapers (at least 6 wet per day), then you have plenty of milk. otherwise, there's no need for formula.
I know the feeling of wanting to quit. I've never been able to bf dd because of her cleft palate. I've been pumping for nearly 9 months. it's torture. I can't go anywhere for more than 3 hrs or I have to bring along my pump and all the crap that goes with it. every day I want to quit. but the one thing that keeps me going is this vision, I will share it with you not to be mean but because you asked for reasons to keep going.

I think of dd getting some awful virus, and puking and having diarrhea and ending up in the hospital. in that situation, breastmilk is like, THE most important thing in the world. I just think to myself of how absolutely horrible I would feel knowing I could have kept going and not if she was sick and I couldn't provide it for her. and that's it. it keeps me going.

I also go and read this every once in a while, no matter how many times I've read it, it sort of spurs me on and adds fuel to the fire;

good luck.
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Just wanted to also say that 7-minute nursings doesn't sound bad for the baby. Mine is almost 9 months old, she's at the chubby end of the weight chart and since she was born, she has finished her meals in under 10 minutes. Both breasts, burping and it will last her, on average, three hours.
I am soooo glad I let these inner thoughts onto this thread! You momma's are so wonderful and supportive.
I hadnt even thought of LLL (duh as i smack myself in the head)! I am going to look up the local one since I just moved (the county i was previously in the meetings were 45 mins away so i never went). And Im also appreciative for the sites, helps me see in writing what I already know. Im relieved that I am not getting bashed for these thoughts but instead feel human. I am going to also check in with a phsychologist I think for the ppd as the more women i talk to with ppd I hear similar feelings about bf. And for those of you who are pumping 100% for your babies, thank you for sharing with me. I feel so very selfish, we have no reason to not be nursing. I definately need to hear the true trials of other momma's and nursing because it really makes me count my blessings. My hat is off to you as I have only pumped for 5 days when she went thru her nursing strike and it is soooo much work. What great and amazing and loving momma's we have here on mdc. Thank you to you all
Im going to come back to this board every day just to remind myself and hopefully one day i just wont need it
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Way to go aka mommy.....I knew you could do it. Your up on your own two feet again. Just remeber life and everything in it is a rollercoster with plenty of ups and downs. Its how we address the downs that makes us stronger, and better for it. I support you in all you do!
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How's it going today mama?

I'm here to cheer you on too!
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I can't really say much as my DD refuses to BF. She BF for 2.5 of her 5 months, so is perfectly capable, but just doesn't want to anymore. I try, but she just screams at my breast. So I understand the dread part. I dread trying as I feel so rejected. I keep trying, though, hoping she will change her mind. So I pump, but have to supplement because I don't pump enough. I am envious of people who have children that nurse and it seems easy for a lot of people. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but you are lucky that your DC will nurse. Keep going and treasure every moment.
hang in there -- I'm pumping right now cus I'm at work -- I hate it but I know it's the best for my little guy. I would have loved to have a dc who could nurse in 7 minutes - wow! My dd was so putsy slow I thought I would be on the couch forever. I have a friend whose boobs and dc's were so efficient, she would only nurse on one side for 6 minutes and her kids were full.

I echo the nursing mama weekend -- see if your dh can keep up the house and your other dc for a weekend so you can reconnect with your dd and nursing. I did this with my dd when I was moving her from primarily bottles to breast at 3 weeks (she was a NICU premie). It was great.

hang in there - you can do it!
Today is another day lol. But she seems to have gotten over for the most part her nursing strike and i am relieved. It does make it much easier. I would love to have just a nursing weekend, but dh is never home long enough to enable that. He is on call and works 3 days on the road then home for about 10 to 12 hours before he is back on the road. I also have no friends or family who would be able to help with it either. But i will keep at it and hope that the next time dh comes home he will be able to give me a little respite. So weird my eldest dd use to nurse for about 30 mins a side lol but dd is 7 mins on one breast then is full even throws some up, guess i should just look at it as efficient thanks lol!
Well I feel as if i asked for this but am so devestated im amazed. I got back from the endicrinologist today with the instructions of weaning Kayleigh so that we can start medication asap for something called Graves disease. Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? I feel like my having the resentment has caused this and now I am in tears at thinking that I HAVE to wean her. We women are so fickle arent we. I am calling my midwives in the morning to see if there is any alternative bf methods to treat this disease but the doc who is pretty crunchy friendly felt we CANNOT wait much longer without risking congestive heart failure. Hello im only 26 did he not get that memo? lol. So now im back in the dumps and feeling like a failure and as if i asked for this problem by even voicing not wanting to bf any longer. Isnt it called karma or seomthing???
No, you do not have to wean. I have a friend here, happymomma, who has this too, and did not wean her son. I'll send her here.
to you!
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I have Graves! Diagnosed about, oh, 5 months ago.

You can take anti thyroid meds while breastfeeding. Endo's know nothing about breastfeeding and just want to cover themselves. A good ped will assure you meds are a-okay. Hale has done research on both commonly prescribed meds and I have his book if you need some quotes.

First of all, the doc should have given you beta blockers now. Those are perfectly acceptable with no debate, to take while breastfeeding. They will lower your heart rate and get you calmer NOW while you decide on treatment for your Graves.

PTU is the drug of choice for treatment of Graves while breastfeeding. And, trust me when I tell you, once you take it, you will feel tons and tons and tons better.

Here on some sites for you.
Yahoo Group


Kellymom on anti thryoid drugs

Hales board

If you need research article links, hale info or anything else just post or pm me. Things will get better! It will be an amazing change, mama!
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happymomma thank thank thank you!
I have literally been crying ALL day about this not knowing what to do. He did mention the PTU but that he didnt want me on it when breastfeeding. I felt so lost and not sure where to look but everything i was reading about Graves online was giving me a gloomy outlook with saying I would need to wean. Your heaven sent. I will definately be pming you ! Thanks
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I just wanted to pop in and say you sound like one amazing mamma! I'm sorry to hear about your Graves disease and everything you have been going through lately.

Hang in there, you're doing great!
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No problem mama! The Graves is probably why you have been feelings this way about bfing to begin with. Graves makes us very irritated at anything...but the great news is that with meds you feel wonderful and back to normal!
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