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I was not sure where to start, I have been a lurker on here for years, and have always appreciated the kindness and insight from you amazing ladies.<br><br>
I am in a very difficult situation. I found out a week ago that our baby has grown wings. I am 22 weeks pregnant. We had planned an UC for this baby, despite the adamant pressure form our families not to. We had been seeing an OB during the first trimester who supported our decision to switch to a midwife, but did not support the concept of UC. We led him to believe that we would be switching to a midwife's care after 20 weeks. Due to me having Factor V (blood clotting disorder), we felt this was a safe point in the pregnancy to transfer care.<br><br>
I noticed that our little one wasn't moving as much last week. I would prefer not to go into details, because that horrible day is still all too fresh in my mind. But an ultrasound confirmed our worst fears.<br><br>
I was in the process of switching to a midwife in the middle of all of this. My OB is pressuring me to be admitted for an induction. I cannot bear the thought of it. My last, and only induction was also with a loss, and I don't think I can handle going through that again. The hospital staff was so cold, we were treated as if our loss had occurred because of our "ideas about childbirth", as a nurse put it.<br><br>
My husband and I are desperate to do this unassisted as planned. If anything, knowing that our LO is gone, makes me only that much more desperate to do this in the privacy and comfort of my own home.<br>
My OB is adamant that I am risking my life by waiting on things to start on their own. I have tried everything possible to kick start labor, walking, black and blue cohosh, goldenseal, red raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil, even sex (which was awkward and heartbreaking, I don't think I can put myself through that again)<br><br>
I have been stuck at around 4cm dilated for 4 days now. (According to my husband) He said he can reach enough to feel the very edge of the baby's bag, but I am very posterior due to the fact that our angel is obviously not engaged like a normal full term baby.<br><br>
I am starting to lose it. I am trying to be patient and trust that my body will accept our child's fate, but I am scared. I once carried a missed miscarriage for 5 weeks past the time of loss, and it was torture. This is even more unbearable, as I am obviously showing and cannot leave the house due to fear of innocent "congratulations" breaking my heart.<br><br>
My OB is trying to convince me to consent to a hospital induction with cytotec. I am normally adamantly against it's use, but I am so desperate at this point that I am actually considering it. I have heard the contrax are brutal, and am aware of the risk of rupture, but at this point I just want to hold my baby and grieve his loss. I know this may sound morbid, but every day I wonder if he is deteoriating to the point of being unrecognizable.<br><br>
I've begged my OB to just insert the cytotec and let me do this at home, but he refuses. I find this odd, as I know many women who have gone through losses with cytotec at home.<br><br>
What should I do???? I have called two local midwives to see if they could help, but because I was under the care of an ob until this point, no one is willing to take on my case.<br><br>
Does anyone have any suggestions? My husband and I are so desperate, that I even looked into ordering cytotec and administering it myself. But everywhere I can find it is overseas and will take 2 weeks to arrive. I don't think I can handle another two weeks of this.<br><br>
I am desperate to do this with my husband without the prying hands and eyes of the hospital staff. ANY ideas, suggestions, ANYTHING is appreciated.
 

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I don't have any advice but I had to be sure to give you a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">. I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this! I hope you get the advice you need to be able to get through this the way you're hoping to.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> for your precious little guy.
 

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So sorry for your loss mama.<br>
I confess to knowing and understanding very little about the healthcare system over there. Things are very different here.<br><br>
From my understanding, the use of misoprostal after the first tri can substantially more risky, so doctors would not allow you to do it at home at this stage in your pregnancy. I would be doubtful that you would find someone to prescribe it for you in this instance.<br><br>
I know how heartbreaking it can be to wait for it to happen on it's own, and it sounds like there have been many things that you've tried to move it long.<br><br>
Are there any other hospitals in your area? Perhaps another would provide more sympathetic circumstances for an induction.<br>
Personally I found an enormous difference in my treatment between a general hospital and Catholic hospital (even though I'm not particularly religious).
 

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My hospital was a Catholic hospital. I am not Catholic but I found such a great respect for the CHILD there and DH and my loss. They really took good care of us.<br><br>
I'm of two minds usually... I see both sides wanting to take care of it on your own. My sister is a nurse practitioner and my DH prefers his holistic, herbal remedies. It's hysterical being in a room together with them both! But anyway... when all else has been tried, DH WILL go to my sister and take her advice about the medical route. In this instance, I say the same thing. If all else has been tried, I think you should take the doctor's advice.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It's been eight months since I miscarried at 10 weeks and I'm still looking for answers and peace about it.<br><br>
I do have something to add, something that may help. My baby stopped growing at 7 weeks, I found out at 9 weeks when I had cramping and spotting. Not wanting a D&C or other procedure, I went to an acupuncturist. After about an hour of treatment I left the office with intense contractions, cramping and bleeding. About 4 hours later my body began contracting very hard and I miscarried at home without any other induction. My body had been holding on for two weeks and hours after the treatment it let go. I didn't know a thing about acupuncture before that first visit but now I'm a firm believer and would recommend it to anyone. I was lucky to find a local acupuncturist with previous experience with pregnant women.<br><br>
I hope this information helps. PM me if you have any questions.<br><br>
Thinking about you!
 
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