Mothering Forum banner
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
424 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My twins just turned one last month. I'm really not the type to get over-worried about developmental stuff... I recognize that all kids do things on their own schedule. BUT I am starting to wonder...

They don't respond to their name on a consistent basis (I would say they are unresponsive more than they are responsive). They also don't wave hello/goodbye and Thomas doesn't clap his hands, Everett does sometimes.

They make eye contact with people, smile, and are generally very sociable and interactive. They are cruising, crawling and babbling a lot. They are very healthy. It is just those previously mentioned things that are nagging at me a bit.

They are non-vaxed, but I did end up having an epidural for their birth and they were vacuum extracted. They are 100% breastfed (still refusing solids for the most part).

I am asking on this forum because I am assuming that development for twins will differ from that of singletons.

Would this worry you?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
334 Posts
My duo were born at 37W5D, I had a saddle block epidural and high forceps (ugh). Were your boys early?

Alden didn't start regularly clapping his hands until 15 months or so, just one of his quirks. Ruthie has always been a clapper.

Waving: Again, Ruthie did it much earlier than Alden. Even now he waves *after* the car has passed by, or the passerby is long gone.

Do you use nicknames without realizing it? We were calling our twins by a zillion different nicknames before we realized that might be confusing to them!


What have you tried in the way of solids? At a year old my duo were eating just about everything and loving it. They insisted on self-feeding around 11 months and they are mastering silverware now at 17 months.

I would be a little worried, but they probably just need extra encouragement.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
156 Posts
My twins are 17 months, but because they were 12 weeks premature, they are developmentally equivalent to 14 months. I don't know if you carried your babies to term, but I know if they were even a few weeks early, you should go by their "adjusted age" (i.e. how old they would have been had they been carried full term) in terms of meeting developmental milestones.

Needless to say, with our rough start, I have been very much on the lookout for developmental delays in my twins. I can tell you that, at their current age of 14 months adjusted, Shane almost always responds when called by name while Dylan seems mostly oblivious. Shane started clapping around 12 months, Dylan followed around 13 months. They both understand the concept of waving, but they do it indiscriminately, which is often well after the person has entered or left the room. When it's just me, they will usually respond when I say "wave" or "hi" or "bye-bye", but if somebody else is actually coming or going, they usually freeze and give a blank stare. I believe this is because they are trying to understand the whole concept of people coming and going.

I must admit, this particular issue was causing me great concern last week after seeing Oprah's interview with Jenny McCarthy about her autistic son and the early detection signs that Jenny claims she missed (such as not responding to his name, flapping his arms, walking on tiptoes, spending long periods of time spinning wheels on toy cars or playing with door hinges, etc.). The startling statistics she quoted (one out of 94 boys will be diagnosed on the spectrum of autism), coupled with the fact that both of my boys at any given time have exhibited several of the above-mentioned behaviors, really got me going for a few days. I'm embarassed to admit that I became a little obsessed, at one point calling Dylan's name over and over many times throughout the day, not getting a response and worrying myself into quite a state.

Jenny also confirmed the story of other mothers that their babies were developing normally until about the age of two and then started to withdraw. This is terrifying and I find myself looking forward to reaching the two-year milestone and not having to worry about this any more. Those whose babies spent a long time in the NICU can likely relate to my heightened level of anxiety, having lived through the many ups and downs and watching my babies' hearts or breathing stop over and over again.

But, more recently, I have found great comfort in the exact thing you mentioned -- both of my boys are sociable, make eye contact, smile and interact with people. And, like you, I am reminded that all babies develop along different timelines, as evidenced by having twins and seeing the developmental differences between the two of them along the way. So...I've been letting go of my high level of concern and am feeling much better about it all.

Regarding your children's rejection of solids -- I was a little surprised by that. Like the PP, my boys also began insisting on self-feeding solids around 8 months. Due to circumstances too complicated to go into here, I breastfeed one and bottle-feed the other, but they definitely both show a strong interest in eating, eating, eating. I'm wondering if you are supplementing their diet with iron? My understanding is that the levels of iron (a really important nutrient for overall development) deplete in breastmilk after 6 months and need to be supplemented either dietarily or directly with iron drops or iron-fortified vitamins. So that might be a good idea until they start taking an interest in food.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,907 Posts
RE: the solids, my twin boys refused solids til about 14 months. I honestly thought they'd NEVER eat solids. I used to cry!

As far as the rest, I just don't recall much. Based on home videos, mine were pretty much in their own worlds til about 18 mos though. They didn't talk much til they were way over 2yo. And now they're healthy normal non-vaxed almost-5yos.

Just remembered: I did have a head banger (against furniture, pillow, whatever), and that really freaked me out. However, at almost 5yo he still bangs his head on his pillow at night, it is just a comfort measure that helps him fall asleep.

Dh and I always joke that our singleton girl, who is 2.5yo, seems like a genius compared to how they were!
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,737 Posts
Seriously, don't worry! My singleton didn't respond to his name until late and has never used or said his name... He skipped right to I (but did this a while later at like 18 months). He was also a late crawler at 10 months. I think as long as they're not more then 5 months behind they are ok. Also if they are really jamming on one milestone, they may neglect others. Your boys may be so focused on learning to walk that it's all consuming right now. Once they get it, they will probably move on to other things. I'm curious to see how my twins develop, if they are faster slower or just different. I have heard of some delays in twins (like speech) because they do the whole twin-speak thing, but even if not it doesn't sound too disturbing. I'd mention it to their Dr, but I wouldn't stress too much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
99 Posts
I'm glad you brought this up. I, too, have always worried about my boys development. They are much slower in every way than their older sister. My main concern now (they are going on two) is that they hardly talk at all. They each know a few words, but they seldom use them. And at the park they're noticeably less athletic than other kids their age. I take comfort, like others, in the fact that they like to interact. They spent a month in the NICU, and were exclusively breastfed. I can't remember when they started solids. . . After two + years of sleep deprivation, I can barely remember what we did yesterday.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Mommymaemae- Your post is so close to the experience that I'm having with my 15 month old twin boys that I could have written it myself. Right after the 12moth immunizations I really noticed that Max NEVER turned or responded when his name was called. He played intently with toys and was very difficult to distract while Mason ALWAYS turned when I called his name. This started a panic within me that Max was exhibiting signs of autism which terrified me. I called his pedi, and she recommended that we wait until 15months to assess. Over the last three weeks, we have seen him completely come out of his shell, and while he only responds to his name occasionally, he interacts, claps, dances and has become so affectionate. The boys are now chasing each other and really interacting with one another. Three months ago, this was not the case.

I still tend to overassess every move Max makes, but after researching vaxs, I've decided that the best choice for us right now is to cancel the appt for the 15 month vaxs this week. I honestly saw a big difference in my son following the last ones and right now, don't ever want to have my son injected with those toxins again. The thought of him regressing terrifies me. We're just now seeing our little boy's personality.

Neither of my boys say much, though they're very verbal. "Do" for dog, mama, dada, they bark at the dogs, point to pictures of things, etc. However, they are very different individuals, and Mason is ahead in many ways with some motor skills. Both boys have been walking for over 5 months, climb up on everything, and Mason even crawls out of his crib.

While it's necessary to be atuned and attentive to our babies' development, the flood of info regarding autism has contributed to the fear of all of the challenges and risks that accompany parenting. I'm trying to relax and completely understand the concerns that you're having.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
602 Posts
Mine are a bit younger than yours, but it does seem to me like they are developmentally different and lag in some ways in relation to my singleton. My little boy started walking just shy of nine months but other than that they are way behind. My older dd had a few 'words' at their age and they just seem nowhere close to that.
But I think there are a few things going on here:
1. I don't have nearly as much time to spend just talking to, encouraging and playing skill-developing games with my twins as I tend to have to interact with them both at the same time and a lot of time is spent preventing falls etc.
2. I don't have enough time to pay attention non-stop to what they are doing, so that I may no even notice some of the things they are doing, and also I may not be able to respond to their attempts at communication as quickly and consistently as I did with my older dd
3. I don't think they have as much incentive to develop these skills as quickly, since they are not as focused on me as my older one is because they also relate to each other and to my older dd. With my older she wanted to be like me, but I think with twins they also watch each other relate to each other etc. While at this age (mine are 9mo) it mostly means fighting over toys, trying to provoke each other, copying raspberries etc, but I do think they are more focused on each other.
Just my 2 cents.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
424 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks for the input, everyone! I think I will just keep an eye on things and if they don't seem to change I'll bring it up at their 15mo check-up. It sure is tough when you start to have those little nagging thoughts creep into your brain, I feel like over-analyzing everything they do!

Whatever does happen, they are amazing little boys who make friends where ever they go and bring a smile to most everyone's face.

Now if I could just get them to eat solids so they'd stop nursing all the dang time!
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
233 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by doublewhammy View Post
I'm glad you brought this up. I, too, have always worried about my boys development. They are much slower in every way than their older sister. My main concern now (they are going on two) is that they hardly talk at all. They each know a few words, but they seldom use them.
I just wanted to say that I started doing home daycare for a set of twins a couple months older than my ds when he was 4 mo, but because of them being premature were basically the same developmental level. So basically he was a triplet for 11 hrs a day, 5, sometimes 6 days a week. The three of them even seemed like they had their own language- going on to each other in gibberish and seeming to understand each other. When ds turned 2 he only said 30 words. Now he's 4.5 and never STOPS talking. My dd has been putting words together since 12 mo. I don't know if it's the early experience as a pretend multiple, or just the fact that he's a boy, or just HIM, but it turns out it wasn't something I needed to worry about (even though I did!) Hoping that's the case with your little guys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
I wouldn't be too worried because boys are usually a little slower at things than girls.....However, if you want to be sure you can find out if there is an Early Intervention program in your state. It's free and they come out to your house and evaluate them. I just got signed up for my 18 month ds. He is about 3 months behind his twin sister on things. People had mentioned it to me for a few months but then I got nervous when I saw the Oprah show on autism and then I called them.....we had a teacher, speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist come out and they just played with him for about an hour or two and evaluated him.....he also gets a free hearing test. They will all meet next week and decide if he needs therapy....they already said he will need speech and physical therapy to catch up to his sister....but they come to your house and it's free so who can beat that. He loved having the extra attention and its basically just playing. So if you are worried give them a call......there is nothing to lose and they said the earlier the better........oh and after 1 yr, they don't count for adjusted age in premature babies......which I had been doing when looking at milestones for my ds......Good luck.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top