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Okay, so I love my husband <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"> But he has a thing for video games. I let him play because he works for 2 weeks solid and needs time to relax and kick back when he is home. Thankfully, he only plays when we are home and there is nothing else to do.<br>
But, he does it when our child is awake, and when he plays...well...he plays the entire day long. Like he gets up to pee, and eat and that is it.<br>
It drives me nuts! Especially since our daughter has been missing him and just wants to play with him, so she is going in and out of that room (we have a game room he plays in) and here he is playing Alien and War games that have shooting, stabbing, decapitating etc. Hubby isn't a violent man, but the games are graphic and violent and I would rather him not be playing these games while our little one is up and wondering in! I dont need my 3 year old daughter seeing horrid things like that.<br>
Anyone else have video game hubbys? I want to give him his time but I kind of thought that they would grow out of video games by this age (31).
 

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2 things<br><br>
1-He should willingly not play violent video games when the kiddo is up. That is coming from a gamer. Either wait till they go down for a nap or after bedtime, but you can't make him 'willingly' decide to do it. You can just ask that he NOT allow your daughter to see it, and if daughter is interested he should misdirect her or stop what he is doing to give her the attention she needs.<br><br>
2-He is a gamer, he will never 'grow' out of it.
 

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mY dh IS A TOTAL VIDIOT. wHEN HE DOESN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES HE (woops caps) is on video game forums LOL. Right now he is playing Vanguard online. In the beginning of our relationship it did bother me, but I am use to it. I have my own hobbies.<br><br>
DS1 is a gamer too, he sits next to DH while he plays.<br><br>
If DH was only allowed to play games after the were sleeping he would literally never get to play.
 

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Dh plays too, though not as much as he's worn his machines out and he won't buy the newer ones until they drop in price alot. he plays more on the computer.<br><br>
The girls(5, 6 & 8) watch him play Command & Conquor and Lord of the Rings. It drives dh nuts.lol they won't stop asking him questions, or telling him where to go/what to use. he can't get into his zone because they don't stop. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
he's not as bad as he used to be. A friend of his had the discs so they could hook up and play each other from their houses and each had handsfree phones so they could "talk" to each other(about every 5-10minutes 1 might make a sound) while playing. This is the same friend who dh went to the city with a few weeks ago. They were looking in a store and went their separate ways. When they met up after they realized they had picked out the exact same quadding jacket, pants & hat to wear.
 

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My DH is an extreme gamer, and it is one of the things that is coming between our marriage. Happily, I will not miss that once I file for divorce. (I'm just counting down the days.)<br><br>
I don't care if your dh works his arse off. He's not the only one in the relationship working hard. There's no excuse for him to spend an entire day glued to a video game. Would he be willing to play board games or something else instead so that everyone in the family can be involved?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Yoshua</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984626"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">2 things<br><br>
1-He should willingly not play violent video games when the kiddo is up. That is coming from a gamer. Either wait till they go down for a nap or after bedtime, but you can't make him 'willingly' decide to do it. You can just ask that he NOT allow your daughter to see it, and if daughter is interested he should misdirect her or stop what he is doing to give her the attention she needs.<br><br>
2-He is a gamer, he will never 'grow' out of it.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
In my house, I am the "gamer." I use that term very loosely though b/c I am not nearly as much for games as some people I know. I have been known to be on all day long on more than one occasion. My kids are older though and I don't play anything they aren't allowed to see. My kids are usually playing with me.<br><br>
I agree with Yoshua....he should be willing to play games that are acceptable for little eyes or re-direct her/wait til she is in bed.
 

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This is an ongoing challenge in our home. We have older kids who like to play Wii and PS2 and GameCube and so on, in addition to my DH. We've set it up so that most games are played when the 2-year-old is NOT around, and if he is, and the kids ask me, I'll sometimes let them do something like Wii Tennis or Cooking Mama, but not Naruto or Halo.<br><br>
We're seriously having to cut back on screen time for the baby here. When I have him (most of the time), I don't do computer nor do I watch videos or play games... but if an older kid or my DH is watching him, they say "we don't have boobs, we can't nurse him and make him happy, all he wants to do is watch videos!" Drives me nuts.<br><br>
I wish I could just throw out all the games sometimes. It's just so hard to keep negotiating and talking and on and on and on. Those things are so damned addictive. Just think of where your dh or kids would be if they were doing something educational or productive with that time.<br><br>
Not much help, am I? Sorry... off my soapbox now.
 

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my dh is the same way.... he is usually good about dividing his time, but every now and then it gets out of hand and I say something to him. The biggest problem is, if I want to do something and I give ds to dh w hile he is playing, it only lasts for 5 minutes. Dh will come and give him to me and say, he's tired... he's so fussy. I'm like, yeah, he doesnt want to sit on your lap and be quiet and still!
 

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I have a gamer here, too!<br><br>
I know that he will never "outgrow" it. We just had a discussion today about how our generation is really the first to grow up with video games. Older generations see it as a "kid" thing, but if it is an activity that you have done your whole life, why would you stop because you hit adulthood?<br><br>
That being said, I am anti-gaming, for the most part. I have some military experience, and I know that the way the military trains its soldiers to fire at people is by making them repeatedly practice doing so. This way it becomes normal. A video game is a great way to normalize firing at the enemy. That is why the military uses them in training.<br><br>
But, we have a Super Nintendo on loan from my little brother at the moment. I am a little nostalgic about it. It reminds me of childhood (ok... adolescence). I was worried that having it here would be a problem. I can play it for 20 minutes once or twice/month and be happy. But I was afraid that my soon-to-be step daughter would latch on to it and play constantly.<br><br>
Luckily, this has not happened. BF knows my feelings on tv and video games. He is pretty good at limiting it. The Super Nintendo gets the most use (and really, the only use) on the weekend that soon-to-be step daughter's older sister spends with us. Somehow I am okay with it being something that we, as a family, do on occasional weekends. It's not like we are playing anything really violent - mostly Mario Kart and the like.<br><br>
I didn't realize my post had gotten this long! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> This is just our family's experience with the games. BF is an avid World of Warcrafter, which can be violent. When our children are old enough to really know what is going on, I will ask that he keeps it to when they are asleep. He has taught soon-to-be step daughter's ten year-old sister to play, though. But that is a fight for me to fight in ten years.<br><br>
As for your situation, what if your DH spent some one-on-one time with your daughter before starting up a video game marathon, then you kept her busy with something else? That's about the only solution I can think of.
 

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You need to discuss and figure out what you both want, come to a compromise.<br><br>
I am not all that concerned with violence against aliens and what not. If you are then perhaps he needs to keep the door shut.<br><br>
You need to communicate what you want.<br><br>
As far as outgrowing video games I don't think that happens at a certain age. Men play baseball and that is activity that kids do. Men paint and draw which is also an activity that kids enjoy. Get the point?<br><br>
Talk to him without putting him on the defensive. Try to find a solution that works for all of you.
 

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MY husband went and bought an XBox, second hand and very cheaply, knowing how I feel about game systems. He hardly plays it, but my 9 yr old does and I can tell a difference in his temperament when he does. I hate it. I really wish that the stupid thing would break down.<br><br>
I got so mad the other day, I threatened to sell it. DH said he would sell the computer. I told him I would get rid of the TV and DVDs and tapes too. Then, I informed him that since I work from home on the computer and I take classes online, that he will have to either: A.) Make sure he works enough to cover the bills I no longer will be able to cover. or B.) Make sure he is home in plenty of time for me to go work outside of the home in the evenings, which means his lazy butt will be doing a LOT of housework too.<br><br>
He shut up and went along with limiting our child's screen time.<br><br><br>
IMO, if something is taking so much time that you spend no time with your children, and it affects your marriage, then it has to go. You gamers can get mad at me all you want, but I am speaking of anything. If our computer was hindering our home and life, I would sell it tomorrow.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sharlla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7984650"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">mY dh IS A TOTAL VIDIOT.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">: Love that term, LOL! My DH is a gamer too...we have EVERY system...nope, not exaggerating! I don't care for them, though I was addicted to Wii bowling for a bit... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I don't mind but we did have a few discussions on appropriate amounts of time to spend gaming. He's cut WAY back. But he loves it, it's his hobby...and that's part of the package! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">As far as outgrowing video games I don't think that happens at a certain age. Men play baseball and that is activity that kids do. Men paint and draw which is also an activity that kids enjoy. Get the point?</td>
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thats nowhere near the same thing as these men who are at home obsessing over playing video games for hours at a time. Nothing compared to that!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">He is a gamer, he will never 'grow' out of it.</td>
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I TOTALLY DISAGREE. How terribly immature can a grown man be that has to put video games before his family? He won't "grow out of it?" Give me a break. He's an adult. If he absolutely has to play his little games he can do that after they are in bed or when they are out of the house. But if his family is home then he needs to pay them respect and give them attention. He is no longer a child and just because he works a FT job and does his part in the family doesn't give him some kind of right to play games all day when he is at home. That's bull. As a man he needs to work and make money if his wife doesn't agree to do that part. That's just common sense and it doesn't give him any rights to obsess over toys (video games are toys). I guarantee if the roles were reversed and his wife were the one with an obsession he would have issues with her.<br><br>
I thank God my husband does not have any use for video games. In fact, we have two sons and I go out of my way to limit their time with games. I don't buy them every game they want and they have very little to no time playing a game in any given week. I make sure its a special thing for them be "allowed" to play with a video game and I never let them play more than an hour. Plus, my boys would much rather play outdoors, read books, do something else because they've been raised this way. I think they are pretty balanced so far.<br><br>
I feel it's my job to raise my boys so they don't go in to a marriage one day and act like they're still 12 yrs old by obsessing over video games. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> I seriously could never be married to someone like that. Its my job as a parent not to raise a lazy adult. I want my sons future wives to appreciate me for the way they were raised.<br><br>
Its sad that your husband doesn't realize he is missing out on his childs life. I don't care if your child is only 3 yrs old, he is still missing out. And he's teaching her from a very young age to find something like a video game and to put that 'before' every thing or every one else in life. Thats not a good role model for a young child to grow up around. He's a parent now, not a child. If he has time to play a video game then great, but family comes before the extra stuff in life.<br><br>
eta: I'm sitting here laughing and thinking about how some men go home from a long hard day at work and run to the t.v. and jump on the couch to play video games. I invision a small boy doing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But yet my sons come in the house after a long day at school and hang out with me and their siblings and play their musical instruments or read books or play outside. How comical that is when you really think about it! Some young boys are already more mature than most men.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I TOTALLY DISAGREE. How terribly immature can a grown man be that has to put video games before his family? He won't "grow out of it?" Give me a break. He's an adult. If he absolutely has to play his little games he can do that after they are in bed or when they are out of the house. But if his family is home then he needs to pay them respect and give them attention. He is no longer a child and just because he works a FT job and does his part in the family doesn't give him some kind of right to play games all day when he is at home. That's bull. As a man he needs to work and make money if his wife doesn't agree to do that part. That's just common sense and it doesn't give him any rights to obsess over toys (video games are toys). I guarantee if the roles were reversed and his wife were the one with an obsession he would have issues with her.</div>
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I see gaming as no different than any other hobby that takes you away from your family. Sure it can be excessive and that can be addressed. It is no different to me than my going out with friends once a month for a girls' night or him going out with his buddies for the day. I also see it as no different than forums that can become a major part of a person's day or tinkering on the car in garage all day. I walk two miles a day without my family b/c it gives me time alone.<br><br>
I am the one is our house with the "issue" and my husband doesn't have any problems for the most part. If he does, he tells me about and we go from there. The kids and I have been known to spend an entire weekend gaming when we get something new.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I thank God my husband does not have any use for video games. In fact, we have two sons and I go out of my way to limit their time with games. I don't buy them every game they want and they have very little to no time playing a game in any given week. I make sure its a special thing for them be "allowed" to play with a video game and I never let them play more than an hour. Plus, my boys would much rather play outdoors, read books, do something else because they've been raised this way. I think they are pretty balanced so far.</div>
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We don't let our kids play M-Th and then weekend hours are contigent on how the week at school/home went. They start with an hour and then get deductions if they get out-of-line at home/school. That is the typical game time. It is subject to change though. We don't buy them every game they want and a large portion of their games, they bought themselves. My kids were also raised to play outside and read books. They do this for the larger portion of the typical day. My kids read at night for anywhere from an hour to three hours (depending on the child).<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel it's my job to raise my boys so they don't go in to a marriage one day and act like they're still 12 yrs old by obsessing over video games. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> I seriously could never be married to someone like that. Its my job as a parent not to raise a lazy adult. I want my sons future wives to appreciate me for the way they were raised.</div>
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I guess that is why you aren't married to a gamer. I am not a lazy adult b/c I am a gamer. It on portion of what I do throughout the course of a week. FTR -- I never played game systems growing up, so it has little to do with how I was raised. I discovered gaming as an adult.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Its sad that your husband doesn't realize he is missing out on his childs life. I don't care if your child is only 3 yrs old, he is still missing out. And he's teaching her from a very young age to find something like a video game and to put that 'before' every thing or every one else in life. Thats not a good role model for a young child to grow up around. As parents we should be doing the exact opposite for our children when we teach them how to grow in to adults. Your husband is still acting very much like a child when he obsesses over video games so how can he help raise your child correctly.</div>
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I would say he is a bad role model if the only thing he ever does is work and game. I don't know that is the case. I would wage a guess that he does have a bit of a hand in raising his daughter.<br><br>
Interesting that you feel a person who is a gamer is "acting very much a child" and won't know how to "help raise a child correctly." I completely disagree with this. It is different than how you raise you child, but it doesn't mean it is wrong. All families are different.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">eta: I'm sitting here laughing and thinking about how some men go home from a long hard day at work and run to the t.v. and jump on the couch to play video games. I invision a small boy doing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But yet my sons come in the house after a long day at school and hang out with me and their siblings and play their musical instruments or read books or play outside. How comical that is when you really think about it! Some young boys are already more mature than most men.</div>
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Yep, that's exactly the life of a gamer. Some do exactly that, but not all. My kids don't play during the week and neither do I, but the weekends we do play. It's all about balance.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thats nowhere near the same thing as these men who are at home obsessing over playing video games for hours at a time. Nothing compared to that!<br><br>
I TOTALLY DISAGREE. How terribly immature can a grown man be that has to put video games before his family? He won't "grow out of it?" Give me a break. He's an adult. <b>If he absolutely has to play his little games he can do that after they are in bed or when they are out of the house</b>.</div>
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For starters it is incredibly judgemental to call someone immature because of their hobbies or pass times. There are many reasons grown men and women play video games, none of which I am going to defend to someone who seems so prejudice against the act of playing video games.<br><br>
However what I bolded is almost word for word what I said. Playing video games does not make you immature. Far from it. However I already stated that the DH should be able to play games when little eyes are around. I am 26 years old and I will never 'outgrow' video games. Not only will I never outgrow them I play video games with my child and will soon be children as bonding excersizes. Not saying that is 'all' we do, but it is something easy for all of the family to get into, including mother, that takes zero time to set up and can easily be put away for other activities.<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But if his family is home then he needs to pay them respect and give them attention. He is no longer a child and just because he works a FT job and does his part in the family doesn't give him some kind of right to play games all day when he is at home. That's bull. As a man he needs to work and make money if his wife doesn't agree to do that part. That's just common sense and it doesn't give him any rights to obsess over toys (video games are toys). I guarantee if the roles were reversed and his wife were the one with an obsession he would have issues with her.</div>
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I believe that everyone who works a full time job should have the down time they need. We live in a 2 income household and I get downtime from the time I get home till the time my SO gets home. When my SO gets home I 'try' to give her downtime by entertaining our child. Working Full Time DOES give you the right to request down time, and you deserve it. and if you are the kind of person that needs to go into your own world to unwind, then your partner should understand that and give you that time to get work off your shoulders to be more attentive to your family. If that time is constantly interrupted then you never feel rested. That being said my SO's down time is typically sitting on the couch with me and usually with our child just talking and venting. Which is almost a NIGHTLY ritual to help her ease the stress of her full time work schedule. She ALSO plays games and when she is gaming either Jake is interracting or I am entertaining Jake. It goes both ways.<br><br><br>
If a man or woman is obsessed with cars, and they are rebuilding a car and their first 2 hours home from work is unwinding in the garage. It is the same thing, a way to forget about your worries.<br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I thank God my husband does not have any use for video games. In fact, we have two sons and I go out of my way to limit their time with games. I don't buy them every game they want and they have very little to no time playing a game in any given week. I make sure its a special thing for them be "allowed" to play with a video game and I never let them play more than an hour. Plus, my boys would much rather play outdoors, read books, do something else because they've been raised this way. I think they are pretty balanced so far.</div>
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Part of parenting is regulating what entertainments your children have.... I would never dream of regulating what my partners entertainments are. She had her joys before I came into her life that she used to unwind, and I would never dream of hindering them. Luckily for me she understand that I am a gamer and she encourages me to play and spend money on games that I otherwise wouldn't have. For instance. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl just came out for Nintendo DS. I did not own a DS because none of the games on the DS were enough to make me spend 150$ on a hand held game system. Then this game came out. And I am large fan of the pokemon game series so I have been tossin and turnin about spending the money. We were at target and she told me to just 'do it' and I did. Have spent 5 hours in the game since saturday morning and Jake loves watching over my shoulder telling me what attacks to use. I see Pokemon as a bonding experiance between Jake and I, just as I see Ninja Turtles as a place to bond. Playing video games is not a detriment if you can moderate, and if there are issues about moderation both parties need to come together and talk about the issue, starting with why the gamer feels the need to play so much. If it is a stress relief then I'd personally have no issues with an hour or 2 a night to unwind so they could be a better parent. And I would also have no issues minding the little one(s) until they have unwound. I wouldn't want a parent coming home from 8-12 hours of work just to snap at my child because of something that happened at work.<br><br><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel it's my job to raise my boys so they don't go in to a marriage one day and act like they're still 12 yrs old by obsessing over video games. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> I seriously could never be married to someone like that. Its my job as a parent not to raise a lazy adult. I want my sons future wives to appreciate me for the way they were raised.</div>
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So just by playing video games men are acting like 12 year old boys? Please. 12 year old boys play baseball. Just because someone can make millions of dollars that makes them mature for doing something in life they love? I started off playing video games. My mom encouraged it. Now I am an IT Support specialist and I attribute that 100% to my interest in video games and computers as a child. I would NEVER dream to stifle one of my childrens hobbies personally, because their HOBBY is something they love and if one day they can make money and support their family doing something they LOVE, it will be one of the proudest days of my life. I hope my children's future wives appreciate that my children are raised with understanding that joys in life are an awesomething and should be shared.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Its sad that your husband doesn't realize he is missing out on his childs life. I don't care if your child is only 3 yrs old, he is still missing out. And he's teaching her from a very young age to find something like a video game and to put that 'before' every thing or every one else in life. Thats not a good role model for a young child to grow up around. He's a parent now, not a child. If he has time to play a video game then great, but family comes before the extra stuff in life.</div>
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I agree, I don't know the dynamics of what is going on, but as for being a 'good role model' I would be more centered on your 2's (op's and husbands) communication and ability to properly communicate and understand eachothers needs. Being a parent does not mean that you give up on your joys, it means you share them with the next generation. But you should know what is age appropriate and what isn't. The 'extra' stuff in life to me, is life. The work and responsibilities are what we 'have' to do to be able to live life.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommy68</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7990960"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">eta: I'm sitting here laughing and thinking about how some men go home from a long hard day at work and run to the t.v. and jump on the couch to play video games. I invision a small boy doing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But yet my sons come in the house after a long day at school and hang out with me and their siblings and play their musical instruments or read books or play outside. How comical that is when you really think about it! Some young boys are already more mature than most men.</div>
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Insulting. Highly.<br><br>
I play video games.<br>
I play the bass.<br>
I play guitar.<br>
I work on computers.<br>
I am a network consultant.<br>
I take Jake out to teach him how to ride a bike.<br>
I am a tentative spouse to my partner.<br>
I am an artist.<br>
I am a teacher.<br>
I am many things.<br>
But most importantly I enjoy life and share that joy with my family.<br><br><br>
And I generally speaking play video games the first hour or 2 after getting home from work.
 

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Games are just like any other hobby.<br><br>
I am sorry if some people do not feel that way and feel only children should play games...that just isn't how things are and I don't think it is entirely fair to laugh and scoff at people just because they have different interests.<br><br>
The gaming industry is enormous and there are all different kinds of games, role playing games, video games, card games, board games, minerature games, even military history games. If the gaming industry relied on children it would go broke.<br><br>
I worked at a gaming shop for many years and it also had a gaming network and I can say with all seriousness that the majority of the consumers are adults.<br><br>
If video games were for children, then why would they even make M rated games?<br><br>
Now, as for time, it should be limited. It is *absolutely* fair for him to have time to unwind and relax. It is fair for people to have downtime whether they work or are a SAHM. I work in our home and dh gives me downtime to hang out with my sister on an online game.<br><br>
My dh doesn't play video games but I do kick my dh out of the house to go and play paper games with his friends. I *insist* on it. My dh works very hard and I insist he take some time to go have fun with his friends. He isn't sitting around in bars getting drunk...he is just playing games.<br><br>
I would discuss it with him and I do hope you come to a sort of agreement. Perhaps limit his time to one quest or challenge or so much XP or limit it to two-three hours.<br><br>
I would say the more violent games should be played while the children are in bed. It sounds to me like he is just playing first person shooters will little else involved other than killing monsters. There are games out there that give more variety and you can actually play games without monster killing.<br><br>
I do play games...but dd and I play Runescape, which doesn't show a ton of violence or Zoo Tycoon or something, there are games that are less violent that are still fun. When dd and I play Runescape we are usually crafting or chopping wood or doing a quest <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I didn't really play when dd was three, I started playing again a bit when she was about five.<br><br>
My older sister lives far away from me as her dh is military and we play online together as a way to hang out as we do not get to see each other a whole lot.<br><br>
My gaming is limited as I work and dd and I do other things so I don't spend a lot of time on games. If I am geeking out and playing for a couple hours at a time, it is usually with my sister after our kids are in bed.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bow2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bow2"> to Abi<br><br>
I agree that stay at home parents need the down time to unwind as well. There are no stay at homes in my household so it isn't on the top of my mind.<br><br><br>
Good post Abi
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Yoshua</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7991969"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For instance. Pokemon Diamond and Pearl just came out for Nintendo DS. I did not own a DS because none of the games on the DS were enough to make me spend 150$ on a hand held game system. Then this game came out. And I am large fan of the pokemon game series so I have been tossin and turnin about spending the money. We were at target and she told me to just 'do it' and I did. Have spent 5 hours in the game since saturday morning and Jake loves watching over my shoulder telling me what attacks to use. I see Pokemon as a bonding experiance between Jake and I, just as I see Ninja Turtles as a place to bond.</div>
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LOL this made me smile. i am a huge fan of the pokemon games (in fact a gift of a gameboy pocket and pokemon blue when he was 4 is what drove my son to learn to read, and playing the card game really helped my son with his mathmatical skills) dp went out and got us the two new ones last weekend -diamond for me and pearl for ds- and i have put in far too much time on it this week. the baby is intrigued by the game and loves to hang over my shoulder looking at my pokemon. i'm really enjoying pokemon with the ds touchscreen! good luck becoming a pokemon master <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
OP, i would ask your dh to save violent games till after the kids are in bed, thats the only rule we really have about video games here. no shooting bloody games when any little eyes can see them. there are plenty of great non-violent games to be played when the kids are awake.
 

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My DH and I both play online games (WoW right now). We enjoy it and its a great way for me to get socialization with other adults. We play mostly with other RL friends, and we do talk on a ventrilo server. DH had some serious addiction issues. He'd play for at least 6 hours a day, after work, and then he was reading forums for WoW all day. Weekends were close to 12 hours. All of our grass died, I got really depressed, our house was falling apart. I finally set him down and told him that this wasnt an okay way to live, for any of us. He promised to take care of his jobs around the house, and to only play after the baby has gone to bed. He raids on weekends, but he misses them if anything good is happening. He works extremely hard during the week, and is a very loving and devoted father and husband. If he wants a few hours to veg out with his friends, I'm fine with that.
 

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Hi, my name is Jessica and I live with a gamer.... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I don't believe that video or computer games are just a "kid thing" that signal immaturity. Um, my dp works hard in a job he had to go out and get and keep which is very different from going to school (something kids do that's comparative). Games are something the he grew up with and I can't fathom where the line would be that says you can't play anymore because you're a grown-up. 18? 21? 25? It's so arbitrary that it's ridiculous.<br><br>
If that's how he decompresses after a week of work or after a hard day then that's his hobby. To be honest, I enjoy watching him play certain games which is a far more passive thing to be doing! I encourage him to play when he feels like playing for two reasons: 1) I love him and know that having this hobby is important for his happiness and I like to see those I love happy. A lot of other things make him happy to and I encourage those as well. 2) It is far better for me to say, 'go ahead' and not nag about playing because he is a grown up and does not need someone to tell him when to stop. He self-limits just fine (a blessing, I'm sure some don't, but nagging won't make them start anyway) when given the time to do it. No one likes to be policed and it puts a strain on the relationship if one person is always trying to limit the other.<br><br>
I say, you knew that your partner enjoyed games when you started dating or before you became serious and that's not going to change. You also know that your partner is there to work with you and you know how to approach him about the things that are bothering you. It doesn't sound like you mind his gaming habits; there are just a few particulars that you'd like to see different.<br><br>
Our son enjoys watching him play too. I can relate to a previous poster who said her dh can't get into the zone because the kids are always telling him what to do next. I thought it was only us!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Communication about what you need (to redirect your kiddo, to spend more time with her, to hold out on gory games until nap or bed time) will probably help your situation a lot. He can't do these things unless he knows about them so go ahead and have a heart to heart. Be specific and don't put down his activities!
 
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