[budwana birth]

Hi everyone,<br><br>
So my husband is supportive of the idea of homebirth, but after interviewing 2 hbmws that I love, he is saying "why would we pay $1400 out of pocket (insurance pays 80%) when ins. would cover 100% of a hospital birth?<br><br>
I am fuming. First, we have already been through this with our last preg. which ended in MC. He had the same concern and finally agreed. Secondly, I am a doula, and women birthing the way they want to is my life's passion. I feel like he does not get the core of me if he doesn't understand how much a hb means to me.<br><br>
Yes, the $1400 will be a sacrifice. But I am sure we could swing it easily enough if we were both truly on board.<br><br>
Anyone dealt with this or something similiar with some words of wisdom?<br><br>
TIA,<br>
Carolyn

 

[lookatreestar]

haven't personally had to deal with it, but a lot of my friends tell me "oh i wanted a homebirth but dh said no" ... i guess i can understand them compromising and whatnot but meh. i told my dh we were homebirthing and he better check out some of the information i gave him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
and $1400 is fab. we paid $3000 for dd. and it was worth every penny!!

 

[mommyshanti]

i could also have hospial birth covered 100%<br>
i tried w/ last one not because dh said so but because i thought i could to save our family $$<br>
i saw a cnm/ob practice and quickly realized it was just like a reg. ob office and that it was not worth it to me<br>
we used our income tax $$ to pay for homebirth<br>
my honey is very supportive and i dont think he would have it any other way either<br><br>
hopefully he'll come around unless your family truly truly does not have it then that is something else<br>
but most midwives will do payment plan ect w you<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[St. Margaret]

I had a hospital birth but with Dr. Wonderful of recent fame, so that doesn't REALLY count, he's like a super-midwife in OB's clothing, with handpicked supportive nurses... back before the (baby-friendly) hospital climate changed and kicked him out. It was covered 100% and yes it was hard to argue with THAT.<br><br>
I think it's AWESOME your get 80% covered. Here in SD HB is a good 4K and we'll likely pay the whole thing. But it will be worth it. Your 1400 is for all the reasons we know supportive, non-interventive birth to be better. Sounds like a deal to me! Good luck!

 

[HeatherB]

$1400 is a steal! Definitely take some time to talk with him about your heartfelt reasons for wanting a homebirth. Talk about the facts and stats, too, as those are often more convincing for men.<br><br>
While I know you really need to have all parties on board for a birth (anywhere), I do think it's vitally important that women birth at home if that's THEIR choice. Don't give up!

 

[MamaPhilly]

Carolyn---I definitely understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't assume the worst that he doesn't appreciate your life's passion; I'd tend to think that like my husband, when he sees a big financial stress on the horizon (a new baby) the thought of adding another $1400 is a bit daunting.<br><br>
My husband originally just heard the cash, balked, and said "Let's go back to the birth center." But then I just kept talking about the beauty of it being in our house, surrounded by our things, and not having to get in the car. One day he called me from work and said, "We need to have this baby at home! What better place to birth than that?"<br><br>
I know the $$$ aspect of things really worries my husband. We are a single income family (although now I teach Childbirth classes, so that covers the cost of our new minivan we bought) so anytime a big monetary number arises, no matter what the situation, he initially freaks out. With time though he's able to relax and recognize that sometimes the money isn't the primary concern.<br><br>
Also, I do know that some people have had luck getting their insurance to cover a HB. We didn't even write a letter last time, which is something I regret. My DH did say he's going to spend his time fighting it this time. We have to pay I think $1800 out of pocket.

 

[NortheastSuperstar]

In 20 years, you'll remember the beautiful homebirth, not the money. Life is about having experiences, not about who has the most money at the end. Childbirth is one of the most amazing life experiences there is. $1400 isn't much.<br><br>
An analogy... If you wanted to go to a school to get a degree in something you love and to get into a MUCH better school you had to pay $1400 more you would probably do it and your DH would probably support that.<br><br>
Your birth, your choice to spend the extra money.

 

[Amila]

Wow, $1400 is CHEAP! My insurance doesnt cover anything, and we will be paying $2300, which is still relatively cheap! God, looking back in comparison to my hospital birth with DD, and my homebirth with DS, I would have paid much much more. I would have begged, borrowed, or stolen for that experience!

 

[budwana birth]

Thank you all for your wonderful responses. We talked last night, and Jose is on-board. Turns out that he is more upset at the ins. co. for charging us out of pocket for a birth that is cheaper for them, while paying in-full for a more expensive hospital birth. We agreed to advocate for ourselves with the ins. company but that he would support the cost of the birth if we are not successful. Whew! Thanks for all the support!<br><br>
Carolyn

 

[mizznicole]

How is it that insurance co's cover hospital birth 100%? Is this after a deductible?<br><br>
Even on my group plan we had to pay a few thousand - guess we had 80-20 coinsurance.<br><br>
Now we are on a single plan and get to pay 100% ourselves. ($3700 for midwife)

 

[peaceful_mama]

My ins. paid half of MW cost last time and that was with me having them only the last 2 months!<br><br>
I actually DON"T KNOW but don't THINK my plan covers hospital birth 100%. I might want to find that out...<br><br>
I would have an IMPOSSIBLE sell with DH on that if it did come down to that because we had a *fabulous* experience with DD with a CNM in hospital. We also had a great homebirth with DS2 but given both of those DH would say no to paying about 800 out of pocket.

 

[MamaFern]

wow.. i had no idea is was so expensive to have home-births in the united states.. it makes me so sad. in Canada, at least in BC, the province i live in home-birth is covered 100% as well as pre & post natal care. the only thing we pay for is some of the supplies we need and even then, depending on your care provider, they often supply a lot of it.<br><br>
the world is an unfair place.. gRrR.

 

[caseykn]

I'm glad your husband is on board! I agree it's SO crazy that insurance companies will pay so much for a hospital birth and then, so frequently, nothing at all for a home birth. My daughter's birth in a hospital only cost us a $500 copay and now we're going to be paying 100% of our home birth because it's out-of-network and we have a really high out-of-network deductible. It's frustrating but I'm glad my hubby sees the value in it.

 

[MisaGoat]

I am glad everything worked out and you reached an agreement.<br><br>
Curious who you interviewed (I am i in NJ too).

 

[MamaPhilly]

I'm curious too---where in NJ are you guys? Many of the Philly midwives I know cover NJ as well....

 

[MisaGoat]

I am in Middlesex County, so probably too far from Philly.