My dh had a rough, abusive childhood because of his dad, because of this he was terrified to have a boy and has a lot of anxiety about his relationship with our son. Now that ds is 5, I think it also "triggers" some of dh's childhood trauma (dh has ptsd). Anyway the problem is dh is never consistent with ds and ds is constantly leading dh into power struggles or just blatently disrespecting him. Most of it is for attention. Ds absolutely adores dh but in many ways thinks of him as a "friend" more than a father. Dh feels powerless to "control ds and in turn gets frustrated and will say things out loud like " why does he always treat me like that?" or asks ds if he likes him, etc. It is so hard for me to watch but dh hates it when I intervene because he is "trying to parent on his own". I'm sorry if this is complicated to read. I'm having trouble putting it into words but basically I am worried about their relationship and about my ds being damaged by the way dh reacts to him, and its also embarrasing and hard for dh to have a ds who completely bosses him around. Dh usually reverts to empty threats (he never spanks) and then throws up his hands and does nothing. How do I stop this cycle!!!???