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DH fed DD FAT!!

1122 Views 20 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  Thursday Girl
So last night we are getting ready to eat. I had made porkchop's and asked DH to cut some pieces for Jewely. Then said "don't give her pieces with fat on them". I cut every bit of fat off meat when i eat it, DH just eats the huge chunk's. so we eat and she isn't really eating her meat which is strange b/c she usually loves it. I go to look at it and he has literall cut jewely size bites of Fat!!! How gross is that? SO i ask DH about it and inform him that the fat is where the chemicals are stored (we can't afford organic) and he just peshaw's it off like I am being ridicules then says "the fat is where all the flavor is" oh my he's a barbarian and to feed that to a 2 year old. sometimes i just want to shake dh. (not really but ykwim)

ok rant over

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Fat vs. muscle tissue? It's all disgusting and barbaric to me.

Oh, you probably didn't want a vegetarian answer didya? :LOL
We're not vegetarians, but it is important to limit the intake of animal fat, especially for the very young. If I were you I would refuse to buy things like pork chops if he does stuff like that.
Although, at the same time, aren't things like salami and sausages loaded with pork fat? Only you can't see it, so it's insidiously delicious.....
mountain a vegetarian answer is ok, I expected at least one
and it was the first one. I can't helpit I just love meat, and some day plan to raise my own so I know I am only getting quality, treated right, organic meat. Until then i ca't afford organic and i just can't give it up. although i don't feel the need to it it daily like DH.

Snowy Owl That would be a good idea. I am not a huge prok chop fan myslef but i get the meat that is on sale. I think i will just have to cut the meat from now on. I mean i would barely be able tounderstand him doing this if i hadn't said anything, but the fact that i said "don't give her any fat" should really have tipped him off.
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Originally Posted by mountain
Fat vs. muscle tissue? It's all disgusting and barbaric to me.

Oh, you probably didn't want a vegetarian answer didya? :LOL

I thought the same thing...LOL...I feel the same way when my DH feeds my dd any meat...but I let it go...I feed her my way 90% of the time and so I figure the bit of food she gets that I would prefer she didn't won't cause too much harm and when she's older she will chose to be a vegetarian just like I did(a mama can hope can't she?)

I should be in charge of the cutting of the meat if it means that much to you
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MMMM. The fat is the absolute best part in a pork chop. That's why when I splurge on them (and they're a real treat for me) I do buy organic. DS, though, doesn't like the fat, and DH can barely stand pork chops. So for now, it's my own guilty pleasure :LOL

eewww that is so gross. Once just to disgust me cuz i cut every little piece of fat off dh cut a big old piece of fat and ateit. I wanted to :puke
Okay, so like pork is irrelevant to my life ...

that said ...

... when I was growing up my mother used to do this cooking-up-the-fat-from-the-chicken thing, called grevenes (or something like that) in Yiddish ...

It was the bestest thing in the world.

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Ok, I really can't stand the texture of the fat. It just grosses me out. Luckily DH can't stand grissel, fat, anything not all meat. When we prepare chicken, steak, porkchops, we cut the meat off before we cook it or right after it's cooked. I don't eat meat on a daily basis but usually a couple times a week and it's mixed in with the food. Like in the crockpot, or chicken pot pie, etc. ALL of our means are one pot delights though, I don't like dirtying 3 different pans unless we are eatting completely different meals.
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this is so not worth a fight and judging your dh over. let him feed her his way when he feeds her (and don't refuse him the privledge of feeding his dd because you don't think he does it up to his standard.) This is such a huge thing. Pork is so nasty that it doesn't realy mater what part she is eating. pork feed, feed lots, the disease and infested nature of pork that is allowed to be used as food, and the nature of pigs themselves is all just brutally disgusting. There is nothign worse than pork on any scale of gross. So relaly fat is no different than meat when it comes to pork. (says sandra who could be a vegitarian if she wasn't so gosh darn fond of bacon, real bacpn not turky bacon or fakin bacon but the real pork deal. of course I only eat organic bacon . . . )

My point, its a matter of taste. some people like the fat (if I am going to have some meat I want a little fat in it. that is where the flavor is), it is erally no worse than muscle. regular mass produced meat is so full of polluted feed, chemicals and drugs, and ravaged with disease that ther eis no part of the meat that is un infected. and if you cook it with the fat all the extra toxins are being released into the muscle anyway. So let it go. it was a couple of bites of what your dh considered good food. and a little fat is good for brain development and vitimin retention. it is not good for babies to be fat free froma nutritional perspective. of coure I do recommend not giving your child non organic pork in any form. just under pork is chicken (and most likely other pultry) then beef isn't bad thinaks to all the precautions they are taking with mad cow disease. after that is bison is still pretty clean and not huge business but still if not organic is subject to mane of the things cows are. not sure where lamb fits in. If you can't afford organic try grass/grain/vegitarian fed because when you have rendering fed and feed lot fed you are getting animals that ate food full of sick and dead animals. This often considerable cheaper than organic but has considerable less toxins.

Anyway if she is eating a pork chop an dlittle fat isn't going to make it any worse but berating her dad and making him feel bad about what he finds tasty and not being a mindful enough parent beause he gave her a bit of tastee is a big deal and something that could grow and snowball into her not having a dad. yay no fat in her diet but no dad in her life either. that would so not be worth it..
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I'd say give her choices and let her decide. At our house, dd1 perfers the fatty pieces as well, and I let her eat whatever part she wants. Besides, I was under the eimporession that in the early years, fat is essential for brain development. I usually give dd a trimming that is fat with a bit of meat attached.
I hate meat fat. DH loves it. My son is pretty neutral about it. And, dd adores it...she likes to suck on the end of bones, too. Ick.

Different people - different tastes. I wonder if those of us who just can't stand it are more likely to be affected by it or something? I hated meat fat even as a kid, and my whole family loves it. Just the idea of eating it makes me sick.

Anyway...we don't go out of our way to feed dd totally lean or totally fat pieces. She just gets a few chunks of whatever meat we happen to be eating. Some she likes - some she doesn't. Her favourites tend to be more like her dad's than like mine, though.
I think this illustrates what has been the hardest issue between dh and I once we had dd. I could pay lip service to "if dh is doing it he gets to do it his way." But it's never easy. Either you do it all yourself or you let go a little. A little fat isn't going to hurt. It's actually necessary for brain development. And since dd didn't want it you know she sides with you on this issue anyway.

Personally I find pork chops too dry without some fat on them. And a roast chicken isn't a good roast chicken unless the skin is worth eating. But I'm an omnivore.

As for organic meat, I don't know where you live, but in Vermont I can find good deals on stuff at farmer's markets or going direct to the farmer as well as learning to cook cheaper cuts of meat. Whole chickens are cheaper than chicken parts. Sometimes you can also get freezer bundles which are cheaper overall or buy a share of a pig or cow. (my personal dream is to buy a half a cow but can't do that until we get a deep freeze.) Personally I'd rather eat less meat and have it be higher quality than just buy in quantity. Of course the irrational part of me worries that since dd isn't getting all of those hormones that commercial chickens get is she going to be upset when she doesn't hit purberty at the same time as her peers? Can't win.
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Originally Posted by lilyka
Anyway if she is eating a pork chop and little fat isn't going to make it any worse but berating her dad and making him feel bad about what he finds tasty and not being a mindful enough parent beause he gave her a bit of tastee is a big deal and something that could grow and snowball into her not having a dad. yay no fat in her diet but no dad in her life either. that would so not be worth it..

As my mother would often ask me, "Is this the hill you want to die on?"
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another one who sees no difference between the fat and the flesh... think about "way back when," people ate every scrap of everything off those bones, and then hollowed out the marrow to eat!
I dunno, I think y'll are missing the point. She specifically asked him not to feed the kid fat and instead of discussing with her why he disagreed, he just went ahead and did it. Then when she let him know WHY she had a problem with it, instead of engaging in a productive conversation about it he blew off her concerns. That doesn't sound too respectful. In fact it sounds kind of passive-aggressive.
Perhaps it's a passive aggressive response to an unwinable argument that he sees as blown out of proportion. Possibly a reaction my dh would have
That said, I have my disagreements with DH on what is appropriate for dd to eat. However, I've decided it isn't worth the heat of disputing it with him. The furthest I've been willing to go is to cease buying the things I use to buy for his consumption alone that he kept sharing with dd. However, if he brings home a box of cherry pop tarts, I may cringe inwardly when he feeds them to her, so I concentrate on the things I find more important - the time he speds with her, the caretaking he does of her, and the love they have for each other. So maybe I insist he try feeding her an egg first if he's going to insist on offering her one in the morning (he and she do the early mornings together while I sleep another hour.) And then eat one myself to get them gone faster, lol. Because in the end, I can't dispute his point that a cherry poptart isn't going to kill her, and I'd rather revel in their relationship than nitpick over the different choices he makes when it's the small (and sometimes cherry flavored) stuff. And sometimes he offers something valuable in the food department I would never think of.. like milk on cereal - go figure a lactose sensitive person would never dream her daughter would enjoy that just like other people, lol.
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For me it would not be worth the arguement or making my dh feel bad.

Small amounts of animal fats can be good. All my kids go through phases on eatting animal fats. I notice it conincided with grow/development spurts.
Passive agreesive and stubborn partners aside, but i have noticed that pork is the **cheapest** by far, of all organic meats. I don;t like pork, but i notice you can buy a lot even Wild Harvest pork for cheap. OK, it might not be as cheap as conventional pork, but it's still pretty cheap.

I'm not sure how muich pork you all eat, but I'd check out the Wild Harvest stuff if i were you. It may totally not be available where you are , but here, where i am , it's easily available in conventional markets and is quite reasonable.

Of course, i would still continue to have conversations with my dh on why he would do exactly what i asked him not to do.

That all said, as a vegetarian of 20 yrs, now turned omni, I have to say that fat is delish---which is why I never buy meat that is not organic. Even if it means rarely eating meat. I would prepare different food for my child if my dh insisted upon non- organic meat for all meals.

I agree with a PP who mentioned the fat in chicken soup. Ack. Who needs all that *skimming*! A nice fatty chicken soup once in a while....will it kill you? Of course eat! Eat!
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