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He is emotionally challenged (like most men) and mentioned to me that I struggled the MOST with this labor out of all of them and that I was getting worse with age. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> He didn't mean to hurt my feelings but he did!<br><br>
First of all he wasn't there for my first birth (we hadn't met yet!) where I pushed for 2.5 hrs and screamed the baby out....but he did see me the next two times where I also freaked a bit at pushing but pushed baby VERY quickly (10 minutes) since doctors were yelling at me to PUSHHHHHHH.<br><br>
Since the labors he's seen me in I'm TOTALLY silent and calm through the WHOLE labor until pushing he's only seen me panic for a few minutes in each labor....until this one.<br><br>
This birth was a homebirth instead of hospital and I hardly pushed at all, let my body do the pushing. But since I did this I had a much longer stage (30 minutes or so) of baby moving down after waters were broken. I did alot of moaning and some talking to myself about how I was in pain. I pushed head out myself and shoulders got stuck a bit so I yelled for midwife to help...<br><br>
Again the whole labor I was sooooooo calm even calmer than my last ones in my opinion. This labor was 5.5 hours vs. the 2.5 of the last two. So I was calm longer and had a great time! But since he saw the last bit post waters breaking/pushing and that lasted 30 minutes he thinks I'm "old" and should not have more babies and not handling things well, etc.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
My Mom who was there said I was excellent and she'd kill to have more clients as easy as me...(she's a doula too). But it hurts that hubby was not impressed. I was hoping the homebirth atmosphere this time would send him away having a new appreciation for what we do as women and helping him enjoy the birth. But he "doesn't get it" and that makes me sad!<br><br>
Thanks for letting me vent!
 

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Oh, that would hurt. That would really, really, really hurt. Can your mom explain things to him better maybe?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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perhaps he meant he was concerned for you if you were to have more - he didn't actually tell you that you shouldn't have more... i've learned men see the same event very different from women - and as your DH he obviously wants to protect you.<br><br>
((hugs))
 
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