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Hello All, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
I'm new and am in serious need for advice. I'm to a point where I'm ready to call it quits!<br><br>
We've been married almost 6 years and have full custody of SS (9) & SS (11) and also my BS (17). It has been hell from the get-go. DH has treated his boys like they can do no wrong and they are his world. BB <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/demon.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="demon"><br>
has visitation and she treats the boys the same - they are the center of attention all the time.<br><br>
Brief History-DH & BB divorced after she had been cheating for years and ended up preg by the "cheatee"...she lied to DH and told him it was his baby until SS(9) was 1! Then she told DH that she's leaving with the kids and moving in with "cheatee". DH put a restraining order on her and after a very messy divorce - it settled and DH won custody of BOTH (even SS(9) who is biologically not DH's!)<br><br>
I came into the picture about 2 years later (we were HS sweethearts and reunited after 16 years apart) all was well when we are alone but when the kids are present he is like another person. He can't separate being daddy and husband! Over these 6 years I have worked my butt off trying to make sure the kids were happy and be a good mom (with rules and consequences!) but SS(11) has always given me problems even when he was 5! Perhaps it's because he saw too much when he was little with BB dragging him on her outings with the "cheatee". He was told early on "not to tell" - now at 11 he is a pathological lier. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><br><br>
DH doesn't want to see the sneakiness and lies - we fight constently <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/argue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="argue">: about parenting. He is always saying "Come on, it's NO big deal" "Lighten Up" GRRRRR <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> I can't stand it anymore. I wish and pray there was a way we could work together but we've done the counseling and have read books and we are set in our ways. He wants to be the hero and their friend - I don't parent that way. I'm so resentful now, I can't even think positive anymore. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"><br><br>
Ironically, DH & I are going to a marriage retreat for the weekend and we started the morning off with a huge fight about SS(11)!<br><br>
Has anyone been through the same type of issues and made it through to victory and not divorce!?
 

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I haven't been in your situation. I just wanted to say I am hoping you get some good advice and work through it! I have heard of people calling it quits because of differences in parenting styles, but I think if you and DH are committed enough to each other then counselling should work.
 

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Hi,<br>
My situation is different, but I send you my support and hope all will settle into a place of harmony. It is hard even for two parents of all the same biologically connected children to parent eye to eye sometimes. I hope you can find ways to agree to disagree, at the very least. Counseling can help a lot. Individual, couple or family.... Best of luck to you!
 
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