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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So...this week is his first trip, he's not far at all (just up in Maine). And we are surviving!! I'm def feeling kind of lonely, but, kind of at peace that he is so much happier and just feels complete in this new job. I just hope I can manage to keep the positive outlook when I'm home alone with 2 kids.

I had a couple mama friends and their kids over, and we had a great day playing in the yard. Usually we get a pizza for the kids...but this time we made mac and cheese, cooked a microwavable pizza and ordered Indian for us!!
: Ah, so yummy.

DS has school tomorrow, and I've actually got someone coming by to give an est on doing some light house keeping for me. I can't do the tubs anymore without coming close to falling in, and I hate to do the kitchen and bathroom floors (well, unless I'm having a serious OCD issue and I'm down on my hands and knees). I feel kind of guilty since I am home most of the time (I work about 10 hours a week) about hiring someone, but, I know I am not going to want to spend the time after the baby is born. And with DH traveling...I shouldn't feel too guilty, right?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by monocyte View Post
So...this week is his first trip, he's not far at all (just up in Maine). And we are surviving!! I'm def feeling kind of lonely, but, kind of at peace that he is so much happier and just feels complete in this new job. I just hope I can manage to keep the positive outlook when I'm home alone with 2 kids.

I had a couple mama friends and their kids over, and we had a great day playing in the yard. Usually we get a pizza for the kids...but this time we made mac and cheese, cooked a microwavable pizza and ordered Indian for us!!
: Ah, so yummy.

DS has school tomorrow, and I've actually got someone coming by to give an est on doing some light house keeping for me. I can't do the tubs anymore without coming close to falling in, and I hate to do the kitchen and bathroom floors (well, unless I'm having a serious OCD issue and I'm down on my hands and knees). I feel kind of guilty since I am home most of the time (I work about 10 hours a week) about hiring someone, but, I know I am not going to want to spend the time after the baby is born. And with DH traveling...I shouldn't feel too guilty, right?
If I had the money I'd hire someone to come in at least once a week if not more often. Unfortunately, we don't so I can only dream. I say go for it if you have the funds!

Anna
 

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Mmmmm...Indian food....

My DH travels from time to time too, and DD and I always do something special together, even if its just eating out somewhere fun. I think you have to give the kiddos extra special mommy time when daddy is away.
 

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DH is supposed to be getting a promotion sometime this month I guess and with it will come a little more money. Of course it will probably disappear somewhere like every other penny does, but if I can, I am going to get someone to come do some housework to help me out. I need help darnit!!
 

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Kelli: at this point I can't do the shower any more. I also HATE bathroom and kitchen floors. So whenever I can, I do have someone to come in and do the kitchen floor as well as the bathrooms for me.
I also don't like to do shower/tubs after giving birth because I feel like every time I'm in the middle of cleaning, baby's going to get up and cry or something, so I don't really do it then either.

I agree with the others, if it frees up more time for the kids and helps you feel less overwhelmed as well at this point (and after baby comes), then it's a great idea!
 

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Hi, Kelli! I'm glad to hear the first work trip is going okay for you.

If you can, hire some help. We can't really afford it (putting us way over budget every month), and I have mixed feelings about the whole thing...but the fact is that I just can't take care of the house myself. And, I don't want my dh trying to do it during the 3 days a week that he is in town. Letting it be messy is just not an option because it stresses both of us out and causes ridiculous fights... Maybe if we didn't have a toddler obsessed with dumping out and throwing everything within her reach...


I agree with pps that our time is better spent with our children. I don't know where this idea that we should be able to do it ALL by ourselves comes from...but, it definitely holds a lot of unnecessary power in my brain. I'm working really, really hard to let it go.

We've been without someone for 2 weeks now and the place is in chaos. I'm interviewing someone new today Dh spent hours and hours yesterday cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, etc...then, he had to get up at 4:30 this morning and head to work already exhausted. He said he felt like "Ethel." I'd much rather him be able to give the children some undivided attention when he is home...and gosh!...maybe a little, tiny break for himself!
:



 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I'm not really sure we can afford it...but I'm set on dipes for a while

And I really don't want DH to come home and have to clean everything. DS is horrendous about cleaning up, and I can't be bothered too much with toys when I'm too focused on the bathrooms and kitchen.

I have NO idea what something like this costs, I'm so out of my element here. My mother will probably shoot me when she finds out...

Although, I did find something that has been making my life so much easier. I work a few nights a week, and am always strapped for time between errands, taking and picking DS up from school (I often run to work while he is there as well for an hour or so), doing something fun (playground, walk, beach etc with him after school)...that I'm at a loss for dinner. So I did one of those make and take places. I wasn't sure how it was going to go...but, it was fantastic. In 2 hours...I got 12 meals, which I split a bunch of them into 21 meals, all for $210. Fantastic. And, I was impressed with the quality of ingredients, the ease of assembly, and how less stressed I am over dinners. With DS, I froze stuff on my own as I went, but, I just seem to have less time in the day with him around.
 

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oohh, Kewl! I wish we could do one of those food prep things! Being vegetarian and then having dairy and soy allergies in the house on top of it...I don't think they would have anything for us to eat...

Well, I'm trying something new with the cleaning. Two women have just started a company together and came by to give me a quote this morning. They are going to come together 2x a week (Monday and Thursday afternoons) and do everything (cleaning, laundry, dishes) for $120 per week. I'm looking at it as a serious investment!


And, I hear ya about telling mom. I had someone doing a really basic cleaning once a week for 6 months before I told my mom about it... She's usually just quiet about things that she doesn't approve of. I wish she would say something, though... Then, I could tell her that if she has a problem with it, she could just move a little closer and HELP ME OUT!
: I'm not into being a martyr. My mom did EVERYTHING herself while I was growing up...and hated it...and let all of us know all about it all the time...
 

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Hey mama!
Glad you are suriving without DH. If we could afford to hire some help, I would totally do it.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by monocyte View Post

I had a couple mama friends and their kids over, and we had a great day playing in the yard. Usually we get a pizza for the kids...but this time we made mac and cheese, cooked a microwavable pizza and ordered Indian for us!!
: Ah, so yummy.
that sounds so lovely! i don't have ANY mama friends here (most of my friends aren't even married/partnered yet, as we're in nyc, the land of the neverending adolescence. that's totally cool but i sometimes wish i had some parent friends since i know sometimes my friends won't be able to relate, you know?).

i think it'd definitely be worth it to look into someone who can help you out, esp. since your husband is traveling. why do you say your mom would shoot you, though? what's funny is that my mom really, really wants to hire her friend's cleaning woman for one big pre-birth cleanup and then to help out once or twice after...but my husband and i feel really weird about it in our case because, first off, this is baby #1 so it's not like we're overextended children-wise, plus we have winter break right after the baby's born so both of us will be home all the time, and my husband is pretty good about chores. i told her she could hire someone for our second baby but right now we've got it covered and she seemed really disappointed! hahahaha.
 

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I am hoping I can hire a cousin who is a Senior in high school and always looking for money. I definitely cannot afford some of the quotes I am sure I will get around here! Where I grew up, if you wanted a cleaning lady, it was a neighbor or a family member and it was fairly cheap... like $20 or $30 per 1-3 hour visit.

Oh the make and take place sounds great. I have heard of those before but haven't seen one.
 

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absolutely no guilt alowed! I ma looking to ge tsomeone to help clean now that my Dh is also travelling and working far away..hey, we can only do so much in a day...... glad it is working out OK,, you do get used to it..I must say
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
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Originally Posted by robina_josephine View Post
why do you say your mom would shoot you, though?
My mom was/is one of those martyr type like what Jessica described...she did it all herself (SAHM til I was in middle school). Cooked, cleaned, ironed, had 5 kids...perfect housewife who never complained about anything. Nothing was ever out of order, left in the sink, premade /takeouts...but, she also has a dramaticly different outlook on kids. Typical cry it out, put them in their pack and play...scheduled up the wazoo. So, she had tons of time to do stuff that I just dont have the time to do. I'd rather spend my time with ds, and I do work a bit. She's always making comments about how toys arent put away or the sink has toothpaste in it, or the floor needs to be cleaned. That's what I get for living next door. And on occasion, she has come over to help out (like the beginning of the preg when I was so sick). She did take DS the other night so I could go to work as DH is out of town, and my downstairs was spotless. Seriously, she even did windows. But...I know she would totally not approve of me paying someone to do it.
 

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It seems like a common thread with our generation. Our parents disapprove of the mess we have around us, but the great thing about it is, moms and dads of today seem more interested in the family.

Growing up, I had a clean house and all that I needed, except for available parents to guide me. Nowadays we're building and investing on a tight knit family for the future. I am SO hoping this helps some of what is hurting society.

Then of course, there's this thing we have called the Internet that our parents didn't have. so in the times when we should be cleaning, we're chatting. But oh don't we feel SO much better?
 
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