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I'm trying to figure out if I should even go to this wedding. It's an old friend of his from DHs elementary school, that we don't spend <i>any</i> time with. I mean I've met this guys fiance one time, back in '04. So I don't really care.<br><br>
The wedding party is going to have a limo take it from the wedding to the reception so I'll have to drive myself, with a month old baby. Besides that I don't know what me and bambino will wear, but I'm sure I can figure that out.<br><br>
Anyway, I'm not sure what the etiquette is. Will I be at the table with them the wedding party or off at another table? How alone am I going to be? I've been to three other weddings in the last ten years and I was a bridesmaid. So I'm not really sure what to expect. I won't know anyone there. So since I don't care help me decide. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I would have absolutely no problem declining the invitation due to the circumstances (young children, new baby) In fact, i'm pretty sure my husband would decline as well, that close to a birth. If it was his brother, I would support him going but not for a friend he isn't even close with.
 

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I wouldn't go, but that's just me. Way too much too soon. Unless you really want to get out of the house - although your babe could be only 2 weeks at the time as well....
 

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I'd let my DH go alone if he wanted, and wouldn't come myself. There shouldn't be any hard feelings.<br><br>
Put another way, it sounds like your DH's friend hardly knows you, so he probably doesn't care if you come either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> A newborn is a perfectly valid excuse for your DH to go alone.
 

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In your situation I'd probably stay home with the baby while DH went to the wedding.<br><br>
We seated the girlfriend of one of our groomsmen at the head table because we knew she wouldn't know anyone else, but your DH's friend may not have thought of that, so you might be seated with strangers. And the groomsmen have to be available for pictures and stuff, so there would probably be quite a bit of time when he wouldn't be able to be with you. And what if the baby comes at 42 weeks and you're only a couple of weeks post-partum on the wedding date? Yeah, I'd just decline now so I could put it out of my mind.
 

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I'd probably stay home and let DH go also. Or if DH wanted to I'd have him tell the couple that he'd be happy to stand up at the altar with him, and in pictures and stuff but he'd have to skip out on the other stuff to help take care of his wife and kid
 

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Yeah, I definitely wouldn't be going!! And I think I'd have a chat with DH about expectations too. (But my opinion is skewed because I had DD at 43+1 weeks, so I'd barely have been a week PP at that point!)
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>limabean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15378076"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">In your situation I'd probably stay home with the baby while DH went to the wedding.<br></div>
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This is what i would do. After making sure DH know I would be ordering takeout for dinner, seeing if my mom could come over and he would be on diaper duty the next day (we trade diaper changes for days out lol).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>laohaire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15378048"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd let my DH go alone if he wanted, and wouldn't come myself. There shouldn't be any hard feelings.<br><br>
Put another way, it sounds like your DH's friend hardly knows you, so he probably doesn't care if you come either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> A newborn is a perfectly valid excuse for your DH to go alone.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
Oh, and if it'd be more than an hour's travel time to/from the event, I'd have dh decline as well.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thanks everyone for your input. I'm totally not going and ordering take-out for all!<br>
DH says there's an open bar, which would be awesome to be able to take advantage of. Breastfeeding takes presidence however. I have been pregnant and BF'ing since 20. Someday in the future there will be another open bar though, I'm trusting fate on this one. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>laohaire</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15378048"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'd let my DH go alone if he wanted, and wouldn't come myself. There shouldn't be any hard feelings.<br><br>
Put another way, it sounds like your DH's friend hardly knows you, so he probably doesn't care if you come either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> A newborn is a perfectly valid excuse for your DH to go alone.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"> Dh was in a wedding that was three hours away when ds2 was 6 weeks old, but if it had been any sooner I probably would have stayed home. Six weeks wasn't so bad, we'd gotten nursing figured out and all the pp bleeding had stopped and I was going a bit stir crazy. I'd hate to be at a wedding where children are supposed to be quiet for an extended period of time with a newborn, trying to establish a nursing relationship, and having to deal with pp bleeding without the help of hubby. Stay home and make sure you have arrangements for a family member or a close friend to come over and help you out with whatever you need.
 

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Call me crazy, but I'm planning to go to my close cousin's wedding which is 20 days after my EDD. Best case scenerio, I have the baby tomorrow and I'll be 4 weeks pp.<br>
Worst case is that I go late and I'm a week pp! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Plus our 2yr and 3yr olds are in the wedding party, it's on the other side of the province and involves two nights away from home.<br>
I guess my only advantage is that we'll know a lot of people at the wedding and it will be great to socialize, AND I know they're relaxed and are very accomodating with our kids. And it's close family, not a random friend.<br>
Otherwise it should be interesting... My social life sucks since having kids so I'm game for just about anything and will make it work <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I definitely would not go.
 

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I went to a wedding when my DD was three weeks old. It was fine.<br><br>
But it was a simple wedding, in a community centre, and the reception was in the same location. It was also in the evening with just refreshments provided afterwards, so it wasn't an all day event or anything.<br><br>
It was a week and a half after my EDD (but she was born at 38.5 weeks) so when we were invited we said we would have to be a "maybe", or if that didn't work for them to just put as down as regrets. If they were paying for a $100 a plate dinner for us I would have just sent regrets upfront, but since they self-catered and it was simple (buns and cold cuts mainly) they could accomodate us not knowing if we could make it until the last minute.<br><br>
I wore something I had in my closet (with an empire waist) and DD just wore a sleeper. Everyone loved seeing her.
 

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You know, there is a chance that the baby may not be welcome at the wedding reception even if you do consider going. Given the number of threads on the subject, its not all that uncommon to exclude young children, even nursing babies, from the invitation.<br><br>
As far as seating goes, it is tradition in my area that members of the wedding party sit either together (without spouse/date) at the party table or act as a host/hostess on behalf of the newlyweds by hosting their own table (again, without a spouse/date)<br><br>
I would decline to attend and not think twice about it.
 

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I would feel weird in that situation even if I wasn't a few weeks PP! I would definitely be staying home.<br><br>
I did go to a wedding where DH was a groomsman ~2 mo PP with this baby, but we both knew the couple and other people at the wedding. I think he was supposed to sit at the head table, but the wedding was pretty casual, food service was disorganized, and not everyone was eating at the same time. So DH just sat with us. Given the baby, toddler, and kid we had in tow, no one batted an eyelash.
 
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