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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
my husband acts like he is my supervisor. he is becoming quite helpful around the house so i should not complain- but i feel like he is my task master!
i have tried to speak to him about it and he just does not get it at all.
help!'
 

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My dh gets like this from time to time. I tell him that I don't come and tell him how to do his job so he shouldn't tell me how to do mine and also remind him that if there is anything that he thinks isn't clean enough he can certainly clean it himself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
oh- this has been our routine for oue entire marriage. i believe that his father was alot like this as well.
i was a terrible housekeeper when we got married- but i am getting much better. i care now about my homes appearance- etc....
example:
this morning dh came upstairs and first asked what was on the floor- then wanted mew to bag up the trash, tjhen i asked him to watch the baby so i could sweep and he said- well you arent going to mop so what is the point in sweeping? i said i would mop- and he said i was lying.
this was all before he said goodmorning.
he does help- he does the laundry( he is in the basement more- it just makes more sense for him to do it reall=y)
he cleans up the sink sometimes...
he is always complaining about our house being filthy- it is not- i have asked my friends....
it just kills me....
 

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well ... it sounds like you are doing your best and if he really hates it that much why doesn't he help out more or get you help?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Emilie
oh- this has been our routine for oue entire marriage. i believe that his father was alot like this as well.
i was a terrible housekeeper when we got married- but i am getting much better. i care now about my homes appearance- etc....
example:
this morning dh came upstairs and first asked what was on the floor- then wanted mew to bag up the trash, tjhen i asked him to watch the baby so i could sweep and he said- well you arent going to mop so what is the point in sweeping? i said i would mop- and he said i was lying.
this was all before he said goodmorning.
he does help- he does the laundry( he is in the basement more- it just makes more sense for him to do it reall=y)
he cleans up the sink sometimes...
he is always complaining about our house being filthy- it is not- i have asked my friends....
it just kills me....
Oh mama, I feel your pain!!!! My DH is sooooo concerned with the state of the house, but not enough to actually do it himself. He loves to micromanage what I'm doing though. Problem is that I grew up in a really messy house (5 kids and 2 working parents, you to the math
) and housework is one of those things I automatically let slide when I am busy or burned out. Our most horrible fights have been over the state of the house and who does the housework.

I've definitely improved over the years, but I go through phases of burnout where I really let the housework slide and then we end up fighting worse than ever. I have no advice for you, but I really feel your pain!
 

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The tone of your descriptions is indicating emotional abuse. Telling you that you're lying is quite hostile. It sounds like he may care more about the condition of the house than your marriage.


My personal rule about unsolicited suggestions/advice/guidance/control/whatever for everyone, dh included, is 'do it yourself of keep quiet.' I'm very clear that the last thing I want is someone outside of me dictating what should be going on inside of me (my mind/thinking/priorities). Their priorities are their job. If your dh wants an immaculate house he is free to A) do it himself or B) respectfully request it from you with no expectations about you actually doing it.

My 2 cents.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I know- I have a hard time cleaning the house- or taking criticism from anyone. Ever,.....
 

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I heard this one from Dr. Phil

"Remember.. You didn't hire her, You married her"

We are not our husband's employees.

Good luck mama!

xoxo
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
yes- i saw that episode- so did dh- he cold not believe what a jerk that guy was!!!!lol... dh is not that bnad- but it is the same scenario.
 
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