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dd hates diaper changes and yesterday morning I heard DH say that he was the boss and she had to do what he says.

I had no idea how to respond to him. I told him I didn't ever want to hear him say that again and that he shouldn't engage in the power struggle.

How should I have handled him saying that?

It IS a power struggle to change her diaper, but it has to be done. so do things like cutting her nails, etc. How can you get those things done when dc doesn't cooperate?
 

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Major distractions usually work well. Rasberries on the belly during diaper changes, unusual toys, a piece of sticky tape, a flashlight, singing. Switch it around a lot to keep dc distracted and try to be fast (for this reason, I did most of the diaper changes, esp messy ones - dh was just too slow and methodical). Nails I could only trim when ds fell asleep while nursing. When he was older, I could sometimes do them while he watched a video.
 

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I thought 14 mos was really an incredibly hard age.
I am sure your DH didn't really mean it; every once in a while I think most people say these things.
:
Is your DD walking? Can you change her when she is standing up?
 

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I used distractions too - my daughter loved playing with a piece of bubble wrap and we got a lot of mileage out of that. She also had a Slinky she played with while getting her diaper changed.

I did my daughter's nails in the bathtub or when she was asleep.
 
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