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Today dh spent all morning playing with his father's day gift (mp3 player). Then he asked me for cash to buy lunch at work. I said no and to pack a lunch. He said he didn't have time. I said, "You had time to play all morning - packing lunch will only take 5 mins." He said, "Don't treat me like a child!" I said, "Then don't act like a child!"<br><br>
Sigh.<br><br>
He says he is all for frugality but then when it actually confronts him, he acts like a spoiled brat. When I say something sensible, he acts like I am just trying to ruin his life. I freak out b/c it makes me think we will never get out of debt if he has this attitude.<br><br>
How to deal with this?
 

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My dh and I give ourselves $30 allowances weekly that are not accountable to anyone other than ourselves. We don't have to explain anything we buy with it but cannot take out more for anything unless we talk about it. His lunch comes out of that if he does not pack it from the groceries at home. So, he can do whatever he wants with his time but if he is out of lunch money, he has to pack his own lunch. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I can relate. When dh first wakes before work in the morning he gets on the computer and surfs to "wake up"<br>
Then he will sometimes buy coffee at work instead of making it at home and bringing it work in a thermos. Even thought I pregrind and prepare the machine the night before.<br>
He also does the "I didn't have time to make something to take to work" thing.<br><br>
Apparently until he sits on the computer for half an hour he isn't awake enough to do anything.
 

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DH and I have the same kinds of problems. AFter months of going back and forth about it, we too decided on an allowance. For both of us (it wouldn't be fair if he got all the spending money - although mine goes towards the families groceries <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ) It also covers gas, etc. And he likes to buy expensive things (fast food, snowboarding/kaying equiptment, etc.) so ours is $200 every 2 weeks.<br>
Of course that doesn't solve all our problems, but it makes him feel better that I'm not complaining about every stupid thing he *needs* to buy!<br>
HTH!
 

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We went with the personal allowance for each of us that we can spend on anything we want and not feel guilty about. This means I can buy some stuff for the house if I want (and not feel like I'm spending too much this month) and yet puts a curb on my DH's spending (since he's much more willing to buy stuff like that than I am). The trick is sticking to the budget, but it does take away a source of arguments when it works.
 
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