dh wants me to take a bottle for when we go out

Well, communication is always the answer. I think the best way to get a DH to listen to you, is to listen to him first - in the same, sincere, open way that you would like him to listen to you.

Tell him you noticed he was uncomfortable with the idea of NIP for those two occassions, though he didn't seem to be for other occassions. Try to find out what the difference is for him - and do that genuinely, not as part of an argument. If he shrugs it off, assure him that you want to work this out and try to get to the real reason. Don't just listen to his first response, and then jump in with your point of view; stick with it until you feel you have heard and understood how he feels.

Then it's your turn. Based on what his real reason is, see if you can compromise (by compromise I don't mean that you won't nurse - but maybe there is a specific outfit that you have that he thinks is especially discreet that you could agree to wear, or you can arrange to sit in a certain location he's more comfortable with, etc.). You can point out that you are very discreet, and you aren't sure how successful you'll be with a bottle anyway, and baby might cry during the play (I know mine would, if I tried to give her a bottle). Or whatever it is that you want to say.

Hope that helps.

It isn't logical to take a bottle on outings if you can bf instead. You make so much additional work:

-sterilizing and setting up the pump
-time to pump
-milk storage
-bottle sterilization
-prepping bottle to go
-one more thing to pack and carry
-making sure it's the right temp (can you warm a bottle in the middle of a play??)
-the resulting dishes to be washed -- bottle and pump and all those little pieces

At least, that's how I would break it down in dh had asked me to do that.

This may help put it into perspective for him if you describe it this way. Ok if I take a bottle it will have to be kept in a cooling thing cause bm once it reaches room temp after being cold has to be used within a few hours. Were will you be able to find a place to warm the milk back up to body temp?(if it isnt the right temp baby may refuse it plus it will very likely cause a tummy ach) U cannot warm bm in the microwave by the way so that is out. I once tried warming bm under a tap at church for my dd when she was a few months old and it the water temp wasnt high enough to warm it and what little it did took over 20min. once u get it just the right temp and baby only takes a drink or 2 then stops u have to go thru the rewarming again if he wants more milk.

Compaired to baby gets hungry, mom nurses baby, mom and baby both happy no one is up looking for a way to warm a bottle. Baby isnt in hysterics waiting for the person who is warming the bottle. etc.

Easy choice there.

Something else to consider if u are like me when my kids were that age if I skipped a feed I would get badly ingorged and in pain with boobs like rocks.