Did anyone wait to tell work/school about pregnancy?

with my first pregnancy, i had a female boss and we were very close - shared an office, talked about everything . . . and often bled at the same time. when she got her period, i was like, "what the heck? mine is, like, a week late." she was like, "are you pregnant?" i was like, "no way, i mean i can't be, and besides i'm all PMSy." uh-huh. hello, early pregnancy feels exactly like pms. so, she knew before i did.

second pregnancy, i had a dink for a boss and didn't tell him until he was going to be at a social thing with my parents, who did know. i could just imagine my drunk step-mother saying something, so i told him, at 12 weeks. otherwise, i would have waited longer, like 16-20 weeks. 4-5 months is plenty of time to cross-train and plan for maternity leave.

I waited until at least 16 weeks, maybe longer. It was long enough that I started to show and everyone was gossiping behind my back but whatever, I could have cared less. I did tell two trusted co-workers/friends but I knew they would keep it a secret.

Going to HR to get benefits lined up sooner rather than later is a good idea.

For clarrification, are you planning on taking FMLA leave and then returning for a short period of time before leaving permenantly?

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I read your post as you are planning to return for a short period of time before leaving again. Bare with me - I ask because here how it worked at my former employer (big-ish bank):

If I left at the end of leave, any un-earned vacation/PTO time that I may have used for leave had to be paid back. Meaning if the company advanced me 12 sick days (one per month for example) to use during the STD waiting period and/or FMLA period but I techincially only "earned" 4, I would have to pay back the other 8.

Same type of thing for FSA or dependent care accounts. If the $5,000 (or whatever the amount is) became available on Jan 1 and I used all of it in the first couple months then quit before it was fully funded, I would have had to repay the difference.

Reasonable enough....

BUT/AND, and this is sort of important if I am understanding the OP correctly, the company had policies in place to prevent people from taking advantage of benefit package (their words, not mine) and accuring time off by working the calendar, so to speak, and then quitting after coming back for a short time period.

I wish I could remember the details but I can't but there was definately language in there to the effect of "if employee leaves Bank X voluntarily with 90 days of taking x,y,z leave, the cost of such and such benefits received during said period will be repaid by the employee."

All this came into play for me because of how my leave fell into the calendar year, which is why I remember the "what happens if I decided to leave again" clause.

OP - educate yourself on STD if you haven't already.

I got a nasty surprise when I went to collect STD over my maternity leave. It paid out nearly nothing.

The 6-week benefit was, in reality, a 4 week waiting period where I had to use all earned and unearned PTO. STD didn't kick into week 5 and then only paid for week 5 and 6 at some % of my salary.

It worked out ok for me because I had a ridiculous about of time built up but I was really, really shocked. I asked HR several times about the STD benefit and was told over and over "oh yeah, it covers the first 6 weeks you are off work." Never, until the very end when I was filling out my paperwork, did anyone mention that the first 4 weeks were unpaid if I didn't have PTO to use.

Thanks everyone so much for your responses!
Caneel- First, thanks for your detailed response! Yes, I'm planning to return for whatever remains in November and December, after being out for hopefully 12 weeks total, and then leaving permenantly after Dec 31. (at least this is the plan so far.)

Our HR person is a friend of mine at work, but a confidentiality nightmare. She openly discusses HR issues with co-workers in our very middle-school-ish work place, so until I want everyone to know all the details of my business, I cant talk to her.

I have read and re-read our poor excuse for a company/employee handbook, specifically focusing on the STD section... I do have to use 2 weeks PTO and then the STD kicks in after that. However, since the general rule is that you only "get" 6 weeks for vag birth and 8 for C/S, I'd really be using 2 weeks PTO, and 4 weeks STD, then the remaining 8 weeks would be unpaid, unless I elected to take my remaining PTO (which I will probably save for random days in November/December, honestly!)

The parts I'm not sure about are whether FMLA kicks in AFTER the STD ends, or if they run concurrently.

I also dont know if I'll stop accruing PTO while I'm out for that 3 months, In reality, we get all of our hours in a "bank" at the beginning of the year, yet the handbook discusses accrual on a weekly/monthly basis... like I said, it's a poor excuse. contradictions galore, and with a privately held company, and the owner as my boss, there isn't much room for argument. his interpretation is the ONLY interpretation (and that can change to suit his needs.)

There aren't any clauses about paying back any time used within a certain time of terminating employment, nor is there a clause regarding the FSA. (But thanks for making me think about it, I might double check!!) The only thing is those 8 weeks when I don't get a pay check, I won't be making the contributions to the account, and by law, the employer has to fully fund the whole account on January 1. So, there will be a shortfall in my contribution(but company is out the money either way).

So far, the general concensus is that it wouldnt be terrible to wait, right? I figure even if I go early, if I tell at 20ish weeks, that would still be enough time to get bene's squared away, paperwork started, and plan for my temp replacement...?

A couple of other things to think about:

1) they may (legally) require you to use up your PTO during FMLA before taking leave without pay

2) If money is deducted from your paycheck to contribute to health insurance, you may be on the hook for your portion of health insurance while you're out. So if you have zero income, you may need to cut your employer a check for your health insurance contribution if you're not getting paid.

Otherwise, when you tell people is all about what's most comfortable and beneficial for you.

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that's sort of the thing- we have REALLY low turnover. like, it's a BIG deal if someone leaves (short term or permanently). Many, actually, most people have been here 10 years or more. I am still considered "new," and am going on my 5th year here. this is like no other company I've ever encountered.

Anywho, thanks for giving me some good things to think about/ask about. And I agree. the STD kicking in after 2 weeks is nice. I'll take anything over $0 for those weeks!

I'll look into the FMLA, but what you say makes more sense than what I was thinking!

ETA: Mosaic- we (thankfully and very luckily) have fully paid medical benefits here. I only contribute to the FSA. And, I didnt even think of the PTO during FMLA thing... I think our company does let you elect to take it all unpaid, but another good thing to keep in mind, since I was hoping to "save" some time for around Thanksgiving!

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It was very much a yes-you-do, no-you-don't need to use PTO back and forth as I progressed through my time off. I nearly lost two weeks of pay at the end because I thought I could carry it forward.

Turns out I was required to use all available PTO during FMLA. Seriously, I was working for a publicly traded company and the cluess HR department had no idea what they were doing.

If the boss/owner sort of changes the rules to suit the situation, maybe using all available during leave won't be a bad idea.