Mothering Forum banner

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,408 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have my birth story almost done, but the quick and the dirty version is that I went into labor early am on April 1 and labored throughout the day. In the evening I went into hard labor (like at 10 pm) and that continued until maybe 3 am. from that point on I had ctx every 90 sec to 2 min lasting 60 seconds and they were tough! Since about midnight I had been feling that my water needed to break. By 3, I felt desperate. At 6:30 am I contacted a midwife to check me and possibly break my water. At this point, I KNEw that my water needed to break, but it just wouldn't. The midwife arrived at 7:30, broke my water (I was over 9 cm) and left before 8 am. DD was born in about 4 pushes at 8:18 am.<br><br>
I still consider my birth unassisted, because I contacted someone only when I felt it was necissary, the actual birth was just DH and I. Wouldmost people consider it unassisited? I feel llike I would have labored on for hours w/o the midwife breaking my water, and I was really at the point of exhaustion.<br><br>
TIA ladies!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,740 Posts
I wouldn't, but I hope that doesn't matter to you.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Personally, I've never really felt that folks who have any prenatal care by a professional are going UC, either. But that's just MY opinion because that's not how I define UC, not how I do it, and not what it <i>means to me.</i><br><br>
I feel like women who have "midwife friends" aren't really "UC" either.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
My opinion is such because I've had 3 pregnancies and births plus a few miscarriages thrown in for good measure and never checked in with a professional. I dont' KNOW any professionals, LOL.<br><br>
And I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression, I don't feel like there is an ideal image to measure up to. It's just been MY experience, and I tend to measure other people's experience off of my own (I think most of us do to some extent.) So when someone tells a birth story, or relates a pregnancy experience that involves checking in with a person more knowledgeable about birth than she, it registers with me that she is in a different place than I, not better or worse, or more enlightened, or more fearful, or WHATEVER, but not "UC".<br><br>
I think this is a great example of our language and choice of terms being limiting.<br><br>
And it really wierds me out when women are asking for validation as far as their births go.<br><br>
You did GREAT!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> Call it what you like, if your birth was <i>UC to you</i> we're not going to discuss it behind your back~<br><br>
"pssst, so and so is calling her birth UC but she really didn't! Can you believe it?!"<br><br>
Take care and welcome to your little one!<br><br>
Kat
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,441 Posts
I think the reason for the question is to know statistic-wise what to say. Do we add Kelsi to our roll call? You birthed without a professional present in your own home purposely. I don't know what else it could be, but a planned UC.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,163 Posts
I'm comfortable with calling that a UC.<br><br>
Here's a thought: whenever people have questions about deaths in UCs and want to be directed to stories in which it happened, there's always one story out on the internet that comes up (it's not on our roll call because the mother isn't an MDC member) in which the mother and father believed something was wrong, went to the hospital where monitoring and evaluation were done and advice given (the hospital found nothing wrong,) and then chose to go back home to give birth, where the baby died. No one has ever questioned its status as a UC birth here. So if that counts as a UC, why shouldn't yours?<br><br>
There's such a spectrum. I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere or else it's pointless to have a separate forum for what we're talking about, but if we drew it at complete autonomy in pregnancy, labor, and birth, our roll call list would consist of maybe 2 or 3 people. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Maybe it should be noted next to your name that there was professional involvement during the labor <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> but I think your story should be up on the list regardless.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,740 Posts
I like the idea of noting there was professional involvement, that way, like with m/c or death, if a person wants to skip that story because of content they can.<br><br>
And sorry, Kelsi. I didn't realise you were asking for roll-call purposes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Kat
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,163 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rajahkat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7938139"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I feel like women who have "midwife friends" aren't really "UC" either.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Ah ha! Now I know what you *really* think of me! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">So when someone tells a birth story, or relates a pregnancy experience that involves checking in with a person more knowledgeable about birth than she, it registers with me that she is in a different place than I, not better or worse, or more enlightened, or more fearful, or WHATEVER, but not "UC".</td>
</tr></table></div>
I totally understand where you're coming from, and you're right, it *is* different. In the end, though, it's much more accurate and useful to allow variations to exist under the banner of UC than to lump everything but absolute autonomy together as "assisted birth".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,740 Posts
<i>Ah ha! Now I know what you *really* think of me!</i><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
I love you, lady! Where would we all be without you to spell things out so prettily?<br><br>
Kat
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,408 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Thanks guys! I am ok with adding that there was professional involvement for the roll call. Especially since I feel like my body was telling me to somehow get my water broken and I wasn't sure what to do myself. I was happy that my midwife was fine with just checking me, breaking my water, and leaving!<br><br>
Now I just have to work on that birth story...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,492 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>fourlittlebirds</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7938576"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm comfortable with calling that a UC.<br><br>
Here's a thought: whenever people have questions about deaths in UCs and want to be directed to stories in which it happened, there's always one story out on the internet that comes up (it's not on our roll call because the mother isn't an MDC member) in which the mother and father believed something was wrong, went to the hospital where monitoring and evaluation were done and advice given (the hospital found nothing wrong,) and then chose to go back home to give birth, where the baby died. No one has ever questioned its status as a UC birth here. So if that counts as a UC, why shouldn't yours?<br><br>
There's such a spectrum. I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere or else it's pointless to have a separate forum for what we're talking about, but if we drew it at complete autonomy in pregnancy, labor, and birth, our roll call list would consist of maybe 2 or 3 people. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Maybe it should be noted next to your name that there was professional involvement during the labor <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> but I think your story should be up on the list regardless.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br>
Yep, you had an unattended birth- but it was assisted ; )<br>
-- now to comment on how things are evaluated on the midwifery front- if you are intending a home birth and see a midwife- even if you transfer care- those stats will be added to the mw stats-- in labor or even before-labor transfers are still part of those stats--the CPM study includes a death where the mom was transferred to the hospital in early labor and when she was at the hospital they did AROM and prolapsed the cord- this is still considered a midwife/homebirth related death...<br>
so women intending UC, no matter if and when they get care those stats should belong to UC--
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,989 Posts
I had a MW-in-training friend come to my home while in labor with Ella. I borrowed her Doppler and her ability to count the beats (it didn't have a readout) and had her take my blood pressure. I don't consider that to have been 'assistance' at all. I simply did not have those skills and wanted the information. I still birthed in my own way without an attendant 'safeguarding me'. No one but Dave and my doula were present for the actual birth. She came back to look the baby over afterward at my request because Ella was slow to start and really mucousy. Again, did not consider it "not a UC".<br><br>
Unassisted means to me that I did not pay someone to come and tell me how to birth, offer suggestions on how to birth, or be responsible for the outcome of my birth. I agree UC means different things to different people but my idea of 'assistance' is a MW who comes at or around active labor and uses her knowledge to 'safeguard' the mother and baby. Who does a newborn exam (rather than just looking at her and saying "yep, she's fine") or completes paperwork. That's just me though! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,109 Posts
arismomkoofie's dh called me (I taught their childbirth class) that morning after they had labored a whole day and night for some thoughts about her wanting to break the waters due to her exhaustion. I suggested they call my midwife mentor-they had never met or spoke to her previously-- who lived nearby ONLY BECAUSE they didn't have any idea what dilation was(he hadn't been able to figure out how to do this) and didn't have properly working equip. to check the heart tones afterward AROM(baby was moving/active in labor so not a huge issue except if you want to do intervention like AROM where baby might not tolerate it and you'd want to know that), so I wasn't going to tell him how to break the waters for her, given that it is never 100% safe to do so and clearly you want to be sure baby is very low station and dilation is well advanced if you plan to do it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: (sorry, but I have had a student previously who prolapsed at home after ROM) That said, I can't imagine why this couldn't be called UC. They were alone for 24 hours, attended for less than 20 minutes before pushing began and dad received and they handled the placenta/postpartum alone.<br><br>
I personally would rather see someone get a bit of advice and have a peaceful birth at home then the outcomes we hear about when planned UCers with no backup plan other than running to the hospital. Thankfully my midwife mentor is one who has no ego about assisting women and will take calls from women who just want a question or two answered in labor that are UCing and also has occasionally ducked out to provide a little help more than once for UCers who ask. Like one woman who had a bad tear and didn't want the hospital drama she would encounter, so she called my friend to just stitch her up and then my friend left. She has one client who calls her when she is pushing. Mama doesn't want her there for the birth, but likes her to do cleanup and check out the baby for her afterwards. I think MD is pretty fortunate to have a midwife who is respectful about what UCers want to do.<br><br>
It's better than resigning yourself to a trip to a hospital in a panic and getting abused by our crazy system and have your baby taken away for hours/days to a nursery. And we all know stories where that happens when, with a little confidence boosting or advice, it could have been a happy beautiful home birth! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Bolt.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bolt">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,408 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
The midwife was AWESOME! I really felt lucky to have her because I really do feel I could have labored for so much longer and I may have gotten to the point where I couldn't take it and headed to the hospital only to have the baby there in a less peaceful environment.<br><br>
I just really was wondering since the definition of a UC can be vague <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,761 Posts
I know there's been several of these threads and they are controversial. That said, I always want to add to the lively discussions that I feel there is a difference between old school midwives and what Jeanne Parvati Baker calls "MED-wives"... IMHO how is it different for me to ask ya'll a question during early labor if I am in need of a little wise woman counsel and me contacting a respectful, traditional midwife. For me the real concern is the growing absence of true traditional midwives... as any group who gets more approval from the mainstream system, midwives included, one often finds that the traditional freedoms of the craft are compromised. Something has to be sacraficed to obtain the liscence. To me a midwife is a woman who is knowledgable about birth, and tends women throughout the life cycle... in another time and place, we would almost all of us be considered midwives. The wisdom I learn from you all in this forum complements my empowered pregnancy and birth experience- just as the knowledge I have learned from various elders, books, midwives, and doulas. None of it is substitute for the ultimate primal wisdom of my body temple! In a way I guess my heart hurts that we as women have come to compartmentalize and label the birth experience- I think this has been a result of oppression. I am days (maybe hours as I am contracting as I write this!) away from birth- it will be a spontaneous event, and as I enter through the veils here, I want no labels limiting my experience.<br><br>
I think this is such an important topic! And I always love to hear and respect all ideas and opinions on it- it seems to be very timely for our culture. Sorry for the long deluge, this is my current heart speak, and I am grateful to add to the diversity here.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,989 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dancebaraka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7961659"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The wisdom I learn from you all in this forum complements my empowered pregnancy and birth experience- just as the knowledge I have learned from various elders, books, midwives, and doulas. None of it is substitute for the ultimate primal wisdom of my body temple! In a way I guess my heart hurts that we as women have come to compartmentalize and label the birth experience- I think this has been a result of oppression. I am days (maybe hours as I am contracting as I write this!) away from birth- it will be a spontaneous event, and as I enter through the veils here, I want no labels limiting my experience.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
MMMMM....yummy post.<br><br>
Maybe I should stop calling my birth "UC" and instead call it "Empowered Birth". I chose who, what, when, where, and how. I see nothing neither wrong nor bad in seeking out wise council when I feel I need it. When my BODY told me I needed more. I trusted myself completely....even the urge to have someone with wiser eyes take a look at us. But no one, even for a moment, other than I was in 'charge' of what happened.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top