did you feel something was wrong during pregnancy?

9996 Views 26 Replies 27 Participants Last post by Summertime Mommy, Jun 30, 2006

bri276

Discussion Starter · Apr 1, 2006

just wondering if others had this experience. when I was pregnant I felt strongly that something was wrong or would go wrong when dd was born. I would sit and cry and cry because I actually thought she would be stillborn. I didn't think I'd be bringing a baby home from the hospital. I didn't buy anything for her until I was over 40 wks pregnant. when she was rushed to the NICU after birth, I sat there and sobbed and said to DH, "I told you!" because all along he had tried to reassure me our baby would be fine.

sorry if this brings up some negative emotions for others, I just wonder if it was a coincidence or if my soul somehow knew before my mind did.

side note- If I had known then what I know now, I would have rejoiced! having a kid with special needs is wonderful, a beautiful experience and I wouldn't trade her for the WORLD! It was the fear of not knowing *what* was wrong that got me.

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Finch

· #2 · Apr 1, 2006

I have talked with several friends and family members about the feelings/fears/premonitions I had while pg and prior to having ds. Before having him, I was always terrified of autism. After seeing the movie "Son Rise" when I was a child, autism scared the living daylights out of me. Before I got pg, I always told myself I could handle any kind of special needs child "except autism," I told myself. "I don't think I could handle autism." While I was pg I was terrified of it, I went back and forth on the whole vax or not to vax issue. I had panic attacks in my last trimester. When he was born I cried in the pediatrician's office, wracked with guilt over vaxing him. When he was a few months old, I asked about him possibly having autism because of his fascination with ceiling fans.

It was always always always in the back of my mind and in my heart. I honestly and truly believe that God was whispering in my ear the whole time, telling me I would have a child with autism. Telling me what was coming. But my refusal to hear it turned into fear instead. I know that probably sounds really weird, but I believe it's what happened. God (or whatever you believe...) was telling me an autistic child was coming to me, and to get ready.

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USAmma

· #3 · Apr 1, 2006

I had fears of my dd2 being born with problems. Even though she had a couple of very detailed u/s because of growth concerns (turned out to be nothing) I just couldn't shake the feeling. I had PTL at 23 weeks and a few more times after that. Finally she was born at 38 weeks and I was relieved that she appeared to be healthy and normal. By 3 mos old she had a feeding tube because of reflux and refusal to eat.

krissi

· #4 · Apr 1, 2006

I had 3 miscarriages before DD was conceived. I suffered anxiety throughout the pregnancy. Every other day I was convinced I was going to miscarry again. I was a mess. This did not ever go away. I was almost certain I'd lose her before she was born. I reluctantly started buying things for her when we hit about the 33 week point. Then the night we brought her home I had a complete meltdown and was convinced I was going to make some kind of mistake that would cause her harm when she was depending on me to take care of her. DH had to talk me down from it since I was afraid to even pick her up.

I don't know that I knew she'd be autistic, but I do think that the struggle to conceive her and carry the pregnancy and the fear of doing something wrong prepared me in a way for what was to come. In the midst of the miscarriage struggles, I was convinced that something about my first child would be special and different, although I didn't know what. I think my fear of losing her, which persists to this day (although much lower key), has kept me watching out for the problems that we've now discovered with her health. And I think getting through the anxiety helped me to steel my resolve in order to be the advocate I need to be for her.

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jessielove

· #5 · Apr 1, 2006

Not with my oldest, who is my biggest challenge so far, but with my youngest. She's not quite six months old and as far as we know she's completely healthy but time will tell if the creepy premonitions wre true. All during my pregnancy with her I felt that something was wrong. In early pregnancy I was sure that I would miscarry. Later I was sure that something was going to go dramatically wrong with her birth. I still feel a vague uneasiness occassionally but she is healthy and well, as far as we know.

snuggly mama

· #6 · Apr 4, 2006

From the very beginning of my pregnancy, I was sure something was wrong. At our 18 week u/s, I remember the tech saying, "oh, the baby looks great and healthy", and me thinking, "no, I think you just didn't find the problem yet." It was a bizarre thought, pretty unsettling, and yet in my soul I KNEW there were problems.

Strangely enough, at the time I was pg with #3 (my dd with SN), I was doing daycare in my home and caring for a little boy born @ 24 weeks. He was in EI, had some medical issues, and some developmental delays. I was sooo scared initially to care for him, but I loved him to pieces and grew to feel quite accomplished in caring for him. I often wonder if it wasn't God's way of gently guiding me to recognize the joy in all children, no matter their limitations. I know not everyone subscribes to that belief, but it brought me comfort at the time I needed it.

Bartock

· #7 · Apr 4, 2006

I miscarried the first time I was ever preg, so yes with DS1 I waited and waited to lose him. With DS2 I had some early spotting, caused from sex had an irritated cervix, but I still worried that I was going to miscarry. The he was born and a day later we were rushed by ambulance to the next towns NICU. That was scary his heart rate was dipping in to the low 40's. He spent three day's in there and the whole time I thought we were going to lose him. He is great now his heart is fine nothing wrong with it, they think it was caused from his cord being around his neck and it pinched something in his neck and it took a few days to straiten out. I still worry about him since that even though he is in perfect health.

gypsy4360

· #8 · Apr 4, 2006

I was sure there was something wrong. I confided this to only one close friend, as I didn't see the need in bothering my husband. At 22 wk we had an u/s, because they had reason to believe there was a tubal defect, much to my shock, it wasn't a problem, it was twins!!

lunamegn

· #9 · Apr 4, 2006

I felt something was wrong the whole time. I even mentioned this fear to my midwife, but I kept chalking it up to new mommy fears. She suggested that if I was so worried, I should get an ultrasound and find out. I thought about it and decided not to. I'm glad that I didn't. And I also didn't buy anything for him until after he was born because I was afraid either he would die in utero or soon after. And he came close to death. But he wanted to be here.

jessjillbolyer

· #10 · Apr 11, 2006

Yea I too knew something was off. The day I got my positive pregnancy test I had a bad feeling. My dh kept saying oh you worry to much. I kept telling myself its was just first mother fears as well. Then we found out at 19 weeks indeed something was wrong with his brain. Although they never knew for sure how he would be affected. By the end of the pregnancy I had myself convinced nothing was wrong although I was very scared and I was right.

I know when I do get pregnant again I will know for sure ahead of time what is to come.

peekyboo

· #11 · Apr 11, 2006

No, but I did have more anxiety about her after she was born, probably due to PPD. The fact that she was 9 days overdue (and the first of mine to be overdue) should have been a clue that Maura was going to do things on HER terms

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nikolette

· #12 · Apr 13, 2006

I knew when I could not go to the movies b/c ds would kick the [email protected] out of me that he was going to be something special. It was confirmed when I had to leave every church service (our church band rocks!) during the pg due to him causing internal bruising.

We knew from the begining that he was going to be sensitive and he was. Only slept for three min at a time, had to be swaddled till 8 mo old. Could not be put down till he was...did I say he could be put down? Nope 14 months and still lovin it up in our arms

DX is Regulatory Disorder, but I know a few mo ago, it was autism. We stopped him vax schedule and started a protocol and he is much better now. Speech and feeding and social delays still, but much better.

Nik

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Jilian

· #13 · Apr 14, 2006

When I was preg with DS we had an ultrasound at 18 weeks and they found a calcium deposit on his heart and let us know that he was at high risk for downs syndrome. I worried a lot about it, until around 6 mos. At that point I let it all go and just accepted that I would love him for who he was, now who I wanted him to be. He was born without downs syndrome but was labeled as colicky, high needs, etc. Now at the age of 3, I'm almost positive he has autism. I think that as a mother you just know that something is off. I knew it from the first day he was born. Now that I look back on my pregnancy I see that he was WAY more active than most.

jackson's mama

· #14 · Apr 14, 2006

I didn't know during pregnancy - my pregnancy was blissful and happy. The premonitions started sometime after Jackson was born. I had a feeling for MONTHS that something bad was going to happen, and even talked to a friend about it. I misread those feelings and assumed that something bad was going to happen to *me* - I went to the doctor 4 times in the months prior to Jackson's diagnosis for dumb little things that I thought were cancer.

Also, like all new parents, we took a ton of photos and video of Jackson. I recall thinking on more than one occasion, "This will be good to have if he dies." I thought it was an odd thought to have, but as a new parent I didn't know - maybe all parents have those kind of morbid thoughts? I don't think so - I think, like a previous poster said, that God was whispering in my ear and that my mama alarm was already going off even though my conscious mind didn't see anything wrong.

sbgrace

· #15 · Apr 15, 2006

I remember having a conversation with my best friend when we were trying to get pregnant. I told her I felt God might be telling me I was going to have an autistic child. I talked to my OB about this and she told me that if you breastfeed kids aren't autistic. I believed her or wanted to. My whole pregnancy I just had a feeling that I was going to have boys and I feared autism. I prayed and prayed for protection for their brains. I have felt from the getgo that one of my boys would be autistic. I've had concerns about Andrew but I tried to listen to everyone that told me I was imagining it all. We were told last week that Andrew is most likely autistic. I wish I had been wrong!

mamaverdi

· #16 · Apr 17, 2006

I knew while I was pregnant. Thought he was twins. Got a u/s at 14.5 weeks, about 1 week too early to see the problem with his kidneys. I knew he would have seizures. I still suspect he will lose his hearing at some point or he has hearing loss already and they just can't find it. I would wake up while I was pregnant wanting to go to the ER. I think I was able to handle the hospital stays, the intense sickness, the surgeries, the constant doctor visits because I had already accepted that something was wrong, even if it couldn't be found.

mv

GranoLLLy-girl

· #17 · Apr 17, 2006

Wow--interesting thread. I was most afraid of having a c-section--which I ended up having--unfortunately. I didn't think there was anything wrong during the pregnancy (in fact, all I kept hearing by OBs was how great everything looked)--but I knew the day she was born that something wasn't right. Mother's intuition, that's for certain.
It's interesting to read how many of us had that same feeling--even before we were confirmed by doctors or tests.

Karry

· #18 · Apr 17, 2006

I think I worried with all of my pg, but when I look back my pg with my middle child was different. He kicked harder and more often than his siblings did. I had heartburn bad during my pg with him, but not during my other pgs. I gained the most weight with him, and he was the biggest of my three babies. He has SID and is FTT. We are still trying to figure out if he has some kind of GI problem that is causing the FTT. He is scheduled to have a colonoscopy on Friday. He turns 5 in June and only weighs 29 lbs.

angelamclamb

· #19 · Apr 18, 2006

YEP, YEP & YEP!

I knew from the beginning something was wrong but I didn't say much about it and figured it was due to 2 m/c's I had a few years earlier. But further along I got into the pregnancy the feeling of "something's just not right" grew stronger and I noticed he didn't move much. My previous pregnancies with my other kids, ya know, they kicked liked little kick boxers, not Jonathon. He just stretched every now and again and that was it. U/S's didnt show anything, not even a level 2, but his heartrate ran low. He was born having respiratory distress, 3 mths in PICU and came home with a trach and gtube and had open heart surgery at 7 days for transposition of the great arteries. But I love him more than anything and wouldnt trade him for a healthy boy no matter what!

fairejour

· #20 · Apr 19, 2006

I had terrible graphic dreams about a horrible birth experience and a baby very close to death, both of which happened. I always knew something was wrong, so I was very surprised I made it full term with no issues. Around 12 months I picked up that something was going on with her but it took more than 6 months to get a straight answer (Deaf!). We had a lot of strange answers to prayers and blessings that we now understand!!!!

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