[shannon0218]

In motherhood?? I mean I knew there would be many a sleepless night but here I sit at 3:05 in the morning. I'm reheating left over curry (glad I asked for a doggie bag last night at dinner) why do you ask am I reheating left over curry (really hot curry too) at this hour in the morning??
Well, because the last time I ate was an apple at 11:00 this morning and it was midnight before I realized I'd done nothing about dinner!! Dh made himself a pb&j sandwhich but I didn't want that. Molly has finally now fallen asleep--out in the living room on the sofa bed--that I pulled out so dh could get some sleep since he has to work tomorrow night and we will be busy all day so at most he'll get an hour nap before work.

So, did you know it would be like this?? I woulnd't trade it for the world, I know she's not feeling well (we tried to take her off the Zantac but apparently she needs a few more days of it) and I just want to hold and cuddle her when she's sad--but I guess I never figured I'd forget to eat all day

 

[kama'aina mama]

Oh honey... Of course you are ragged! The hardest thing sometimes in for caretakers to remember to care for themselves. And to answer your question... no. There have been sooooo many things about motherhood that I was not prepared for. There is, for me, a moment that defined the sea change of motherhood. When I woke up and heard the baby next to me retching and my instinct had become to pull her close and let her vomit on me (2 minutes in the shower and back to bed!) as opposed to throwing up in the bed or on the floor (turning on all the lights, changing the bed, cleaning the carpet, starting laundry at 3 am.... and probably a shower with baby on top of it.

Moms are different. Glad you found something good to eat!

 

[babybugmama]

Oh Kam...how wise! Dd is too projectile for that though. She's only puked 2x in her life...both times on me and around my silhouette (imagine a me shape on the ground painted by puke

)

I had no idea what it was *really* about. I work part time. Before having the baby I told my boss I would be back full time at three months. She said absolutely nothing. She's now 2 1/2 and I still haven't gone back full time and won't. I was talking about it with my boss and kind of apologizing for having no idea what motherhood would do to me. She smiled so sweetly and replied, "But Kathleen, I knew. I knew you wouldn't be back full-time even if you didn't."

I always knew I felt a wider range of emotion than many...I never knew just how broad that range could get.

Hugs I hope she feels better soon.

 

[shannon0218]

What a sweet boss

Last week I sent off a report (a report that's going to have to be read in court

that had a line of just various letters in it--apparently typing important documents with a 4.5 mos old on your lap is not so wise :LOL

 

[Penelope]

I had no idea. I was fairly well-informed but totally clueless. :LOL My dd was a high-needs baby and she was a *year* before I could hear of someone else's pregnancy without feeling secretly sorry for them. It can be so draining and exhausting. Some days I feel like it's all I can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Other days are much better, though! They are joyful little people and I'm blessed. Barbara Kingsolver has a letter to her daughter in one of her books of essays that includes the line, "We love you like an alcoholic loves gin. You're the first thing we think of in the morning and the last thing as we fall asleep at night." (I'm paraphrasing.)

I never knew I could work this hard, or that I would want to. But I do!

 

[Seasons]

I knew about the sleeplessness; colic; constant focus and selflessness; money stress. I was actually expecting toddler parenting to be a lot more difficult in terms of potty teaching, discipline, breastfeeding etc -- my kid is easy (high-energy but very logical and self-disciplined). I knew I'd love her at first sight, and actually we bonded long before birth. No surprises there.

What I didn't know was that I'd be doing it so utterly alone. I planned parenthood, with a husband and huge clan of local family (his). I expected that during times I was laid up with flu, or stressed, or lonely, there'd be someone to lean on. And I'm an uber-feminist; I thought women helped each other.

The one, ONE thing that surprises me about parenthood is that I do it ALONE. (Village? What friggin' village? Hubby, inlaws, my parents, all scattered in the divorce. Other moms are busy with their own families.) That's pride-making and wonderful often, yes, and sometimes (during the flu or unemployment!) crappy. But good and bad both, it's certainly been a SURPRISE.

 

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Seasons--I SO hear you. I really thought that I'd be able to find a community of educated women who also happened to be moms to become my friends, to lean on, ask advice from, etc. Nothin' doin'. It turns out moms are competitive, back-biting, and have lots of unhealthy issues regarding parenting--and those are the good ones! :LOL
But seriously--the alone part, I get. I really get.

And I love the idea about letting the baby puke on me--I should have done that when mine were at the barfing stage. I guess my instinct was to pick them up (even in a sleep-haze) and run as fast as possible towards the bathroom before it was too late. It was always too late.

And to answer the original OP...I knew motherhood would be hard--but not as hard as it is. But there are days (especially when they were new, and one of mine was a reflux baby--and it was pure pure hell) even now that I wonder how I'll get through.
But, taking it minute by minute and not looking too far ahead (and feeling overwhelmed by doing so) really helps.

 

[USAmma]

(((HUGS))) Reflux is so tough! Nitara is 16 mos. old and I'm still waiting for a night were I can stay asleep all night long. It's tough, but just imagine 10 years from now, things will be better and this will just be a distant memory.

Hardship builds character and strength. If it were not for Nitara's reflux I would not have found myself in many ways. I feel like I've aged 10 years in 1 year-- the good kind of aging.

 

[Bearsmama]

Shannon-

No, I had NO idea. And I thought I had it all figured out! :LOL

 

[Dechen]

No, I had no idea.

I thought I understood that parenting was difficult, but it has kicked my rear end and then some.

On the other hand, I never knew the ways in which it would transform me, and force me to grow.

 

[shannon0218]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one--there's nothing quite like an infant to make you feel really dumb sometimes you know?
But like many of you have said, I'm enjoying every second and I just couldn't give it up for the world. I didn't know I'd forget to eat for a whole day--but I also didn't know I'd love her with this incredible ferocity. I didn't think I'd really demote the dogs even though they are so wonderful with her--it almost confuses me--I love them more for how awesome they are with Molly--but at the same time, I often don't take them with me anymore, I don't feel bad about going out for the day without them and I don't feel guilty about now only allowing them access to one loveseat instead of being allowed on the furniture period.
Another thing, I had no idea how I would feel when she started crying and after a shower a new bum and about 3 sips of a bottle she'd fall asleep and I'd just be so proud that I was able to give her what she needed to be able to fall asleep and rest. (that just happened last night

)

 

[Bearsmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dechen No, I had no idea. I thought I understood that parenting was difficult, but it has kicked my rear end and then some. On the other hand, I never knew the ways in which it would transform me, and force me to grow.

: Dechen, I think you summed up my feelings better than I could on this subject.

 

[newmommy]

Nope, I had NO idea. This coming from someone who had never been around babies. I read alot during pregnancy but forgot all that stuff the moment we came home from the hospital.

Some days I am so exhausted, I might literally pass out.