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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i seem to be having a complete turnover of friends as i transition between married and single. some friends are just sort of fading into the background while others seem like we just "cant" relate anymore. but at the same time, i am building new relationships, and i feel more and more healthy all the time, so i dont feel lonely like i did at first. did this, or is this happening with any of you? i find it really interesting. especially because i had this whole circle of aquaintances that i was so worried aobut losing, and now dont even have any interest in trying to be friends with them at all! it is so strange to see things the way i do now. if only i had known how much calmer i would be, i would have stopped freaking out so much! !! !!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I have def. had friendships transition, but I don't know if it's related to the divorce or not as they were only my friends (my ex never liked my friends or involved himself with them). One casual acquaitance I stopped talking to b/c she always gave me pained looks post-divorce. I figured she needed room to get over herself.<br><br>
Actually, since I left my ex, a few of my friends have left their exes, so...I'm in reasonable company right now.
 

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some of my friends fell away, i think it was all too much for them at the time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> i kept a couple of best friends and met some new ones. i found it interesting too. i think many friendships change thru divorce.
 

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I lost a bunch of friends, but then my wasband was in law enforcement, and it became "not okay" to hang out with the crazy ex wife of the Sgt.<br><br><br>
Some friends I lost because of me, they thought they were "helping" the kids by offering to take them while he was at work. In reality, all they were doing was helping him take the children from me.<br><br>
but it all worked out in the end, I have custody, a nice amount of childsupport and a GREAT batch of new and wonderful friends.
 

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I don't think I've lost any. X had no friends so all friends were "mine". But relationships have changed. I was a SAHM before and now I work FT. It's hard to stay in touch.
 

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I realized some of my friends that I have not wanted to hang out with recently are those that don't know much about divorce. They want to ask stupid, irrelevant questions and I swear they look at me like I have 3 heads. My parents were divorced and even though I am the only single mama I know, I am doing much better with my friends who experienced their parents' divorces. My stbx and I separated a few weeks into my current pregnancy and I feel like a spectacle enough. I don't need people who "just don't know" right now.
 

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I am with cheyennemama here.<br><br>
I was at home and now work full time and have moved a half a state away.. that leaves for little time to actually get together. The friendships have changed because of all the other changes. The one thing that is a challenge is when one of my 'old' friends will start to complain about something in their life and then stop, look at me and remark that they shouldn't be complaining bc it is nothing compared to what I am doing. That is odd - to me, everyone has their own battles and each one is different - some more challenging than others, but a battle nonetheless.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
yeah the friendships i am transitioning away from are actually all "my" friends... ithink it is just the fact that my world-view is changing so much.<br><br>
arg i am suddenly getting a visual migraine and am losing sight of the screen! i will post more later! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
it never turned full blown into a headache...i get this thing where ...it looks like swimming strobe lights. it started in my periphery this time, and it was making it hard to see the computer screen. anyway they usually pass within 20 to 45 minutes. that one only lasted about 15 i just needed to quit looking at the screen and lie down for a bit. thanks though! they dont happen all that often but i have been drinking more coffee than usual and looking at the computer more, too...so that can trigger it...
 

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I don't think I lost any friends. My friends rallied. They carried me through some of the most difficult times. They housed me, clothed me and my children, fed us, supported us, hid us. My family is so far away that they cared for us the way a family would. I am very fortunate, and I tell my friends all the time.
 

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I did. Actually 2 couples that were "OUR" friends are all hanging out with x. I hardly ever hear from them. It makes me so mad because the wives were all "my" friends from childhood.. Very frusterating!
 
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