I've never named any of the 5 until this one. I knew about two weeks ago that it's name was Hannah. I knew it was a girl all along (and still think so) and it was just clear as day that this was to be named Hannah.. so she'll always be Hannah in my heart.
This was my first lost-last week-and I have been struggling with whether or not to name her. They told us she was a girl from the ultrasound done when I first started to miscarry. Thank you, 1Plus2 for the website, I have written down some of my favorite and the most meaningful names to me and I will share them with dh. He is not sure he wants to name her because of all the emotions that will bring up--sharing it with our boys, hearing the name in public, on tv, etc.--but I am really being pulled to giving her a name. I know I will eventually name her in my heart.
I named all three of mine. I liked their meanings:
Asher - happy
Ariel - lion of God
Issac - laughter
I like to think of them all rolling around, wrestling up in heaven, waiting for me. I don't know if they were all boys, just felt like they were. It really helped me to put a name on my loss. "Miscarriage" sounds so clinical. But a name sounds like a real person has died.
We had planned on naming her "Bridget" but once I found out I was pregnant, it seemed like too strong a name for her. I couldn't explain it any further than that, but I felt like she needed a softer name. We chose "Emma" and at around 10 weeks we lost her.
During the m/c I had a dream. In the dream, I was walking with a man and we came upon a girl who lying down. She wore a long white nightgown and had long blond hair falling across her face. He simply introduced me, "This is Emma." and I *knew* in the dream that this was my child.
I was unsure, at first, who I would share this with. Dh knows, and my sister, and my children. It's not general knowledge though. When the children mention her, it's so nice to hear them say "Emma" and not "Our Baby Who Died" which is how she had been referred to before I shared this with them.
I don't think I could bring myself...our baby was lost at 13 weeks...I had a d&c to expell the whole pregnancy because of heavy bleeding.
I never really knew this baby, there was no connection, it was to early to tell what the gender was. The whole time I was pregnant it was a confusion, DH and I had not planned any more and we were very unsure about how to fit another into our lives, so I feel a bit like this was a lesson in love for the both of us. It was about the most stress I have ever felt from beginning to end....
Also I think that a name is for a soul, and I kind of believe that if the soul is meant to be born it will come back either to us or to another family and it will get it's name then...
OBviously we named our little one Mary ROse. Actually, the OB and neonatologist named her Mary (which was on our short list) and we added Rose for my SIL who was holding her when her spirit flew to HEaven. I think you know what's right for you. I know some women who have not been able to name the baby they lost, for whatever reason. The confusing yet freeing circumstances surrounding a loss allow us to realize that the only right answer is the answer that feels right in your heart. I wish peace for you.
I didn't know if I wanted to name my baby--was still struggling with What exactly have I lost here, a baby, a fetus, a hope, blood,....I was thinking about a name, running thru all the names I like but not wanting to "use up" a name I would like to give another child....kind of weird. Then I just knew her name was Sara. Which wasn't even one of my choices. So that is her name. Mostly with DS I call her "Our baby," maybe partly because I don't want to teach him my mystical experiences as literal truth...? He calls her "your baby."