[Vortexing]

So we're coming up on the end of the first year with DD. Seeing all the flowers starting to come up, like they did last year, I'm spending a lot of time remembering how things were and her wonderful birth.<br><br>
Well we had a midwife assisted hospital birth, and it was wonderful, and really during my labor and delivery, I couldn't tell I was in a hospital, thankfully. I went in at 7pm, and thus labored mostly in the dark with a string of white x-mas lights that the midwife brought, and had her at 220am... So basically it was dark the whole time, which I really appreciated, and I'm sure DD did too, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The problem that I'm having as I'm reminiscing, is that DH and I didn't want to keeping using the flash on the camera as it seemed really intrusive at the time. That means that we have basically no pictures of the labor, the birth, and very few of the baby until around 2 days old. Only a couple turned out ok, and a couple are really blurry, but kind of in a good way.<br><br>
DH and I are pretty decent photographers, and much of our life we have documented in images, except this event, one of the most important of our lives. It's just always been how we do things (heck I have several close relatives that are professional photographers), so I'm having a really hard time with that one single regret about the birth.<br><br>
Does anyone have any wisdom to share that might help me just get over this??... DH is really tired of hearing about it b/c he feels like it's his fault (since he was taking the pics), and I don't want him to feel that way. Did anyone else not take many pics?<br><br>
I almost feel like this just the type of event that one should just remember the way that we perceived it, instead of on paper (or digitally on screen in this case)? If you showed me the couple of pics that we do have, and asked me what they're of, I wouldn't have said my birth, b/c I just don't remember it that way!

 

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I have pictures from my 1st birth. It was a hospital waterbirth and my best friend took pictures. I love having them and I'm so glad she took them. My 2nd was an unassisted homebirth w/ just my husband and me so the only pictures are very soon after the birth; during the birth he was in the pool with me.

 

[TinyBabyBean]

I missed videotaping my past two births and have few photos and really regret it. I can relate to how you are feeling. I thought I would be fine not documenting those births but as the years passed it is total regret. I will be sure to film and photograph this birth.

 

[katheek77]

We have of the baby right after birth. My husband was helping me push (which didn't take very long), but as soon as the baby was born, I had him taking pictures while I was stitched up. And, since she was born in a hospital (husband was VERY nervous, as his mother lost 3 kids at birth, and had complications with the other 3), we did the hospital photographer thing when she was one day old, and they actually came out very cute.<br><br>
I haven't gotten the birth ones developed yet. LOL. I'm horrible about that sort of stuff.

 

[Full Heart]

I have video of my first 6 births. My last birth I screamed at everyone to get out as the baby was crowning. I was on my hands and knees in the pool when the baby came out. No one saw the birth. Not my mw, not dh, not even me! I don't have it on film either. It was a hard thing for me to get over but it was the right thing to do at the time (yell at everyone to get out). The experience was wonderful, it was funny, it was exciting and having had someone there snapping pics or filming would have taken away from that. Its wierd at the time I had no idea what was going on around me except that one thing. So it must have really bothered me. Never bothered me before.<br><br>
One thing I know when I look back at the videos of my other kids is that the film doesn't match my memories. So I am glad in a way I don't have anything to take away from the experience. Not that it did before. Like for instance I always thought I was louder than I really was. And I don't really care for the faces I make lol.

 

[Vortexing]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Full Heart</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7915885"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The experience was wonderful, it was funny, it was exciting and having had someone there snapping pics or filming would have taken away from that.<br><br>
One thing I know when I look back at the videos of my other kids is that the film doesn't match my memories. So I am glad in a way I don't have anything to take away from the experience. Not that it did before. Like for instance I always thought I was louder than I really was. And I don't really care for the faces I make lol.</div>
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That's how I felt... I felt like the flashes from the pics that DH did take really made me feel bad for DD. She'd reel from the flashes. While I was laboring and pushing, no one but the midwife and DH were there, and so there obviously was no picture taking going on then. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there, as it would have seemed like their only purpose would have been to take pictures, like my birth was part of some sort of documentary or something. So I was doomed I guess to not have pics, I just didn't know I'd still think about it sometimes a year later....<br><br>
I agree with the film not matching the memories. Maybe we even do have the normal amt of pics (I'm always used to like a GB of pics per day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">), but they just don't seem real to me. I remember it as a much more total experience than these images let on to. I think part of it was that with the flash, not in the dark like it was, it looks like a hospital room (duh, I know), but in my mind, none of that is in my memories.<br><br>
I'm sad that so many mamas have similar regrets, both for you all, and for me! I was hoping someone would say that this to shall pass, or that most people don't have TONS of pics of the birth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">

 

[eternamariposa]

We brought our camera with us to the birth center and midwives passed the camera around. I didn't even notice the camera but am so grateful the took the pics because they were able to capture so much! Like head crowning, cutting the cord, our first nursing sessio, etc. For us it was wonderful.<br><br>
I don't think I would do video though, I don't think I would want to sit through it again even though it was an awesome experience.

 

[momto l&a]

I dont want any pictures of the birth nor do I have any but I like ones of after.

 

[AugustLia23]

I didn't want pictures of my birth last time around and I regretted it. I have one picture that dp took of right after birth when I was trying to nurse him for the first time and it is my favorite picture.<br><br>
This time I will have many many pictures taken.

 

[caedmyn]

I didn't think I would want pictures/videos during the birth, but now I regret not having taken any. We also didn't remember to take any pictures of DD until the newborn exam (she was 2-2.5 hrs old at that point). For my next birth I will definitely make sure that someone is videotaping the birth, and taking pictures after the baby is born. I don't want to show the video to anyone, actually I don't think I even want to keep it, but I want to watch it once...I want to see what the birth of my baby looks like next time around!

 

[ldsapmom]

I have all three of mine of video, and they are some of my most treasured "things."

 

[SuziBelle]

i have my first birth on video and the 2nd they wouldn't let me video, but my doula took pics. I am a photographer and I would love to do birth photography some day!

 

[Vortexing]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SuziBelle</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7917047"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i have my first birth on video and the 2nd they wouldn't let me video, but my doula took pics. I am a photographer and I would love to do birth photography some day!</div>
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Well maybe I'll call you next time I give birth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Wouldn't you think it was weird to not have that part of your life documented in pics?

 

[marnie]

i do from my daughter's birth- right after i pshed her out i yelled "take a picture!" and my husband has never let me live it down.<br><br>
my son was born quite suddenly - and we didn't have time. we do have one of him about 2 hours after, and very few of the first week (as opposed to the thousands i took of my daughter every single minute.<br><br>
honestly, i don't mind not having as much of my son. his birth was calmer, in a pleasant birth center instead of a hospital - i caught him myself, and it feels like i've just been more gentle wiht him all around than i was with my daughter. i've been *mothering* him instead of photographing him. i honestly haven't put him down long enough to have snapped more than a few photos - he's three weeks old now.<br><br>
my daughter does love looking at the photos of her being born. But i suspect my son will love hearing the story of his gentle birth just as much.

 

[co-op mama]

My first dd we videotaped the birth although my mom turned off the camcorder as she was born cause she was having trouble and my mom was afraid of what was happening. So the video cuts off as she is born and comes back on when she is on me and we're working to get her to respond to stimulation.<br><br>
My second dd we have none till the next morning as she was born quickly and my husband and the midwifes were busy readying the birth pool so I could get in and deliver.<br><br>
My third ds we have pictures throughout the labor the delivery and afterward. My sister attended and took so many pictures I finally had to ask her to stop lol.<br><br>
I am grateful for the video and pictures and really wish we had them of our second birth which was the most painfree and calm birth for me.<br><br><br>
Melissa

 

[Momma Aimee]

we have photos of me holding DS the first second he is handed to me, and after that.<br><br>
I WANTED birth photos, for me, if nothing else, and i have seen them well done with baby and cord and no mom -- IYKWIM?<br><br>
But we ended up with a forcept deleivery -- so we didn't get any like that.<br><br>
But I am preggo again -- and i want to make sure we have MORE birth photos this time, we really have only a few decent ones (not blured and so on).

 

[~Megan~]

Well, how is this. When ds was born we took tons of pictures. emailed them that day to friends and family, the modest ones anyway.<br><br>
And before we transfered them to our computer I wrote over the disk by accident.<br><br>
So we had them, lots of them, and they were gone.<br><br>
It was a HBAC too and I was so proud to have done it it hurts really bad that almost all the pictures are gone.

 

[tamagotchi]

We didn't take any pictures during DS's birth and I don't regret it. What I do regret is that he had to go to the NICU immediately after birth and we didn't get a chance to take any pictures of him as a newborn until he was three days old.<br><br>
We don't plan to take any pictures during the birth this time either, but I would like to have some of immediately after, first time nursing, etc.

 

[koru]

similar but not exact....<br><br>
we have very few wedding pictures. we had a small wedding planned in a couple months & hired a high school photo guy (friend of dh's daughter). he was awful! i've regreted it for years but finally decided to cherish the 2 or 3 that turned out nicely, framed them & don't look back. it's hard to do but at some point i just realized they're pictures & i have the memories.....

 

[sanguine_speed]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>~Megan~</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7917987"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, how is this. When ds was born we took tons of pictures. emailed them that day to friends and family, the modest ones anyway.<br><br>
And before we transfered them to our computer I wrote over the disk by accident.<br><br>
So we had them, lots of them, and they were gone.<br><br>
It was a HBAC too and I was so proud to have done it it hurts really bad that almost all the pictures are gone.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br>
i have done something similarly horrific and it still hurts.