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Your concerns about not being done, the religious implications, and the possible long term health consequences are very real. I think it's fine for you to insist he not do it, and you guys find an alternative.
However, the huge significance you're attributing to this in terms of his attractiveness, and referring to him with a term applied to cattle, is a little strange. Maybe instead of you matching his pickiness for sexual attraction, he should just be less picky. Personally I think it's kind of obnoxious when my DH tries to go there. I don't go there with my DH because I don't want to fan his insecurities. If he said he'd lose his attraction to me if I turned out to be infertile or something, I'd bite his head off, frankly.
It may be that the strength of feeling you have for the first reasons, and the fear that he may go ahead with it despite your non-consent, is spilling over into other areas.
Then again, people are different. I guess for some fertility is a turnon and infertility would be a turnoff. But it is worth staying respectful about it.
Originally Posted by Laurel723  Besides that, if if my gut reaction to the thought of having sex with him after the fact is true repulsion, how is that different than a man being repulsed by a woman with sagging breasts, or a load of stretch marks, or cellulite, or whatever? He reminds me quite often about just how much babyweight I have to lose yet before I'll be 'sexy'. He's so concerned about me being attractive to him. What about my attraction to him? Shouldn't that be just as much of a concerm to him?... Obviously my desire to keep him healthy, and still abide by the requirements of my religion coupled with my feelings of hurt caused by my husbands sudden change in heart regarding those desires creates a need for counseling. How sad. |
However, the huge significance you're attributing to this in terms of his attractiveness, and referring to him with a term applied to cattle, is a little strange. Maybe instead of you matching his pickiness for sexual attraction, he should just be less picky. Personally I think it's kind of obnoxious when my DH tries to go there. I don't go there with my DH because I don't want to fan his insecurities. If he said he'd lose his attraction to me if I turned out to be infertile or something, I'd bite his head off, frankly.
It may be that the strength of feeling you have for the first reasons, and the fear that he may go ahead with it despite your non-consent, is spilling over into other areas.
Then again, people are different. I guess for some fertility is a turnon and infertility would be a turnoff. But it is worth staying respectful about it.
