[rebeccalizzie]

I'm sorry, I'm not sure where to put this, so I guessed. Mods please move if I guessed wrong!

DH and I are going to start TTC next month. I really like my ob/gyn a lot, she's nice, informative, supportive of whatever I choose to do (well, I don't know if she'd go for a home birth, but I wouldn't do that anyway). Her partner in the same practice delivered my first DD, and I thought he was also very involved, cared about what I wanted in terms of my birth experience, etc. So overall I've been very happy with my Ob/gyn experiences.

That being said, there is a midwife in their practice, who I could see if I do conceive. Would there be any advantages to going with her as opposed to my regular ob/gyn? To be honest...I don't really know the difference, other than the fact that the midwife specializes in birth, and I'm assuming is more holistic?

: Although since she's in a traditional Dr's office, maybe I'm wrong about that part!

Any advice or tips welcome, I'd like to make a decision *before* I have my first prenatal visit!

TIA!
Rebecca

 

[wtchyhlr]

OB's are trained surgeons.
Midwifes are trained baby catchers.

 

[alegna]

:

Also, if you want a non-medical birth (and shouldn't we all...) you should really do some research on homebirth. Personally I feel that homebirth should be the standard of care for normal pregnancy (at least 75-80% of all births)

good luck!

-Angela

 

[rebeccalizzie]

I know I'm probably weird, but I don't really want to give birth at home. I liked the hospital I gave birth in the first time, it was like going to a really expensive hotel, and it felt very special (yes, it would be special no matter where I gave birth, but hopefully YKWIM). The nurses treated me like a princess (I had the same two for my entire 3 days there), the room was lovely, and I got to stay there the whole time. And there was someone else to clean up the mess and bring me food and drinks and warmed up blankets whenever I wanted, and a jacuzzi tub, and an LC to help us with breastfeeding if we had had problems.

Basically, I felt very pampered, and however much I adore my DH, he isn't the pampering type :LOL He'll try...but the nurses at the hospital did a better job

My ob/gyn is definitely a doctor, but she seems to be very open to non-medicalized birth...she *really* tried to make my best friend's VBAC happen. the only reason I'd be continuing with her instead of a midwife though, is because I really like and trust her. Otherwise, I'd prefer the "baby catcher" model

 

[KittyKat]

Lucky you. Your hospital/nurse experience is the exception. If most people had a hospital experience like that, I doubt the homebirth midwives would have half the business they do. Unfortunately there are "butchers" out there. But I digress.

If you like your doctor and you trust her, and she is supportive, go for it. If you feel drawn to the midwife, listen to your instincts and go with her. It couldn't hurt to meet her and talk with her, see if you "click" with her.

 

[alegna]

I'm glad you had a good experience. Definitely not the norm. And I'd rather be in my own bed after than anywhere else in the world.....

As long as you're okay with being subject to someone's random "policies" (which all hospitals have of some sort....) enjoy!

I'd still go with a midwife.

-Angela

 

[Yo Becca]

i really liked my OB pre-pregnancy also and kinda felt guilty when I had to "break up" with her once I got pg. But I knew that she wouldn't actually be with me during my labor - only for a few checks and the grand finale. I planned an unmedicated birth, and I wanted a provider who would a) be used to unmedicated births, b) be present and supportive throughout my birth, not just at the end, and c) NOT be replaced by someone I didn't like or didn't know if I delivered when it wasn't her "turn" to be on call.

The midwifery model of care is very different, not only during L&D, but throughout your pregnancy. At my practice, I was trusted to do my own weight and urine dip at each appt., to drink my gest. diabetes drink prior to coming for the test (as opposed to friends who had to drink it at the office and sit around for an hour b/c they weren't trusted to drink at the right time). And when my due date came and went....and went....there was discussion and negotiation, as opposed to dictates. My labor was prolonged (19 hours from when active labor started to delivery, 2+ hours pushing) and although I ended up butting heads with the midwife who attended the birth, I found out later that she was fighting in the hall with the OB on call who wanted to give me a C-section (I WISH they had let him talk to me - would have been fun to let off some steam!). SO, even though I didn't love that midwife in that situation, I felt lucky to have had her as opposed to an OB.

Also, a midwife who supports your birthplan can help you challenge or negotiate any standard practices of the hospital that you want to avoid. W/ an OB, you'll mostly be dealing with nurses who don't have the authority to disregard dr's orders.

Just for the record, I support homebirths and once thought I would want to go that route, but I also appreciated that the room and equipment was clean before, cleaned later, I was fed, absorptive pads were changed, etc. and I didn't have to do any of it. I would totally deliver at home if we could afford a few servants to come take care of all those details

But we each have to make the decisions we are comfortable with, in our specific situations.

 

[kate~mom]

i second just about everything that has been said, but wanted to add my own perspective also.

when i got pregnant with older dc, i had been going to planned parenthood for my annual exams. so when the shock of being pregnant wore off, i called the only mom i knew in the area and asked her what ob she used. that was the extent of my *research. my pregnancy and birth were fine - no major issues - epidural caused a drop in my bp, so i had to have an iv, and they kept losing her heartbeat, so she had the fetal monitor attached to her head. four hours from the time i got to the hospital, she was born. no problems breastfeeding, we were home within 36 hours. i really liked the ob who was at my birth - but really lucked out because there were a few in their practice of 7 that i couldn't stand. i decided that if i was going to have another kidlet, i wouldn't use such a large practice.

fast forward three and a half years. i've discovered ap and nfl, and have heard fabulous, raving, wonderful things about this midwife's practice in my area from different parenting loops i am on. i was torn because i really liked my ob and had no problems with emma's birth - other than being pissed at myself for not being tough enough to avoid the epidural. but when i got pregnant, i made my appointment with the midwives.

first appointment, my entire perspective on how important a midwife is for a natural birth changed. this appointment was close to an hour long! i felt heard - and there was ZERO sense of being rushed out the door. someone mentioned the trust they put in you to take care of your own weight and urine tests - this little thing makes such a difference and really sets the stage that YOU are doing this - nothing is being done TO you. no internal exams was a big one too! multiple options for birthing locations. backrubs!

when i went in to their office in labor, decisions were still left completely to me - did i want to go home to labor at home, walk around the park, or head into the birth place?

i've been really long winded, but the bottom line is this 1) one of my biggest parenting regrets is not investigating my birth options more throughly with my daughter, 2) the emotional care you receive during your pregnancy and birth is JUST as important as the physical care, and 3) empowerment is so important for a life-changing birthing experience.

 

[rebeccalizzie]

Hm...lots to think about. Thanks everyone for your perspectives! Maybe I'll interview the midwife in my dr's practice and just see what I think before I make a decision. I'd rather not switch practices, so I'll just have to see what happens. I have to admit, I *love* the idea of being more in charge--I didn't mind my ob being more in charge of my last birth, because he had discussed all my wishes with me ahead of time, and I was also 20 years old...I wasn't ready to make my own decisions at that point! (just me, I know many 20 year olds that are more mature than I was).

The other thing I just found out is that if I go with the midwife I may be able to deliver at a birthing center instead of a hospital. I loved the hospital I delivered at the first time...but birthing centers are soooo nice. So I think I may end up going that direction so long as I like the midwife.

Thanks again!
Rebecca