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Does anyone have different last names amoung your dc, but the same father? DH and I have been married for 5 years, I took his last name, and have regretted it since. I will change it back to mine, just haven't gotten it together enough to do everything my state requires of me. Now that #2 is coming, I refuse to start the process because DH has to come to court with me and give his permission.
: Anyway, I feel very strongly against this babe having DH's last name, DD does have his last name, DH isn't exactly thrilled either. He has issues with me wanting to change my name in the first place, he has low self-esteem and to him it means that I am rejecting him, another reason I've been dragging my feet. I feel that he has one child with his name, and I want one with mine. We both are at the end of the family line, very small families, no one is our parent's generation had dc except our parents, and we are the only ones in our generation having dc as well. It makes it even more important to me to pass down my maiden name, it is an unusual name, and DH's is common. Hypenating is not a question, DH hates that even more then he hates the idea of different last names. Anyone been in a similar boat?
 

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My children all have their father's last name. We're divorced now, and I have sole custody of the children... so I think they should have my last name. I'm the one that provides and cares for them. He sends child support, always late and never the full amount, and rarely sees them. I suggested a hypenated name, he rejected the idea.

Not really sure what I'm going to do.
 

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Kind of.
My grandfather had sisters, only one boy in the generation. That boy got married and had two sons, whereas the one sister who had kids had only one girl.
The girl (my dad's cousin) had two boys. My dad and my uncle both had a girl apiece: therefore, the name ended with us and both my cousin and I had sons in wedlock but divorced. I changed my name back upon divorcing: had I known then what I know now, I would never have bothered. Part of me regrets changing my name initially, but it's still something that I can handle letting go. My family are still there, and the history is still there.
The one thing I would have done differently is that one or more of my sons would have had my maiden name as their first name. There's still time for that though, right?
Oh, and my daughter (different dad) has her dad's last name too. I don't know anyone who has been able to make it work with varying names amongst the same parental/child group.
 

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My husband's older 5 children all have his last name (except his adult daughter, who had his name, but recently married and took her husbands name) but his youngest daughter, MY dd, has my last name, as will all future children, so it's not exactly the same, but we have a mixed name family with no real problems....the kids all know that despite the diff last names, they are all brothers and sisters.....with pretty much all of the adults having married and divorced and remarried, and tons of HALF and STEP siblings, there are 5-6 last names ewithin just the immediate family.....sometimes the schools gets confused, but really, there aren't any problems.
 

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My DH and I were not married when we had our first daughter, so I thought it would be easier to give her my last name. Our second daughter has my DH's last name, and my last name is hyphenated now. I'm planning to change my DD1's last name before she starts school.
 

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My cousin's wife didn't change her name when they got married. The first kid was xxx xxx Hislastname Herlastname, the second kid is xxx xxx Herlastname Hislastname. I don't think it's been a problem for *them* ... although the rest of the family has been making snarky comments about how weird it is.

I've often thought that it would be more fair and consistent if girls took their mother's last name and boys took their father's. I guess it wouldn't solve the problem for gay couples, and people would still "lose" their family name if their kids were all of the other gender ... but at least it would be a lot more fair.
 

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We all have different last names. My stepdaughter, who lives with us 10 months of the year, has biomom's last name. Our DD has both of our last names with a hyphen. DH and I both kept our own last names. It's a bit awkward at times....when sending out cards and letters from our family, I often just link all three last names with hyphens: "from the B...-C...-S.... family". I've considered taking DH's name with a hyphen but at 46 feel very settled into my name.
 

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My husband and I have different last names. My son has my husband's last name, and my daughter has my last name. My last name is beautiful and feminine (and mine!!), and I love it. My son is named after his paternal grandfather (middle name), and we decided to go traditional with his last name. My daughter was adopted and is African-American (we are White), so we decided that in keeping with the amazing, non-traditional nature of her entry into our lives, why not give her the beautiful name?

L.
 

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Dh and I also have different last names. I really wanted to pass my name down, but there is STIFF resistance in his family about it (and a little from him, but not much). We settled on giving my son 2 middle names, with the second being my last name. The way it looks on all certificates, you can't tell if it's 2 last names or 2 middle names. We decided that it would be his choice to use one or both names when he is older. I'm guessing that since he'll spend his younger life using only one name, he'll probably stick with that (makes me sad). Now that I'm back up north, where keeping your name is more common, I am feeling more motivated to try to take up the argument for using both names again!
If and when we are blessed with another child, s/he will also be given both names.

I asked a lot of couples who didn't share the same name about their children's names when we got married, since I wasn't sure what the norm was. Some did what we are doing, some used both names with or without a hyphen, and some gave some children one name and the other name to the rest.

Kristen
 

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My children have different biological fathers, and they each legally have those last names. My husband is a step father to both of them and he and I have the same last name (his).
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kristenok18
Dh and I also have different last names. I really wanted to pass my name down, but there is STIFF resistance in his family about it (and a little from him, but not much). We settled on giving my son 2 middle names, with the second being my last name. The way it looks on all certificates, you can't tell if it's 2 last names or 2 middle names. We decided that it would be his choice to use one or both names when he is older.
This is EXACTLY what we did. Although for some reason, this was hugely confusing to the people at the hospital who wrote up the birth certificate, and they tried to hyphenate the two middle names. Uh, whatever.
 

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I didn't take dh's name when we married and he didn't take mine either. We have two dds and one has my last name and one has his. I guess we'll flip a coin if we ever have another.
 

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i had 2 boys before i married dh. they both have my last name. i kept my own name when we married. then we had dd and she has my last name. their was no way i wanted to carry on the tradition of mens' ownership of women by name. sorry dh. then we had ds and he has a hyphonated my last name-dh's last name.

And i've grown in though again and next baby will have his/her very own unique name , abolishing ownership by name altogether.
 

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I am not in that situation. I did keep my name and dh kept his. We agreed that a girl would be named after me and a boy after him. Our plan was to have one, but before we married we agreed that if we ever decided to have two, the second child would be named after the other parent. It's all a moot point now as we have kept to our plan of only having one child.

At the very, very least, you can add your name to your child's name. That way they have a right to use that name any time they choose, so long as they aren't trying to be fraudulent. I actually think every child should have both parents names when a couple keeps their own names. It just makes sense to do it that way, to me and Miss Manners, anyway.
 

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ds#1 has my maiden name & ds#2 has my married name. we're going to change c's last name.
 

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Or you could do like my sister, her and her dh made up completely new last names for their children. Neither of them have a last name that can be traced to any family line.
 

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I grew up in a family where I had a different last name than my parents and half-brother. I always hated it. Cards would come addressed to The ___ family and I would always look at them and think "That's not my last name." It is much simpler for everyone in the family to just have the same last name.
 

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my dh and I kept our last names and are hypenating our kids' name )hislastname-mylastname). We'll be the "hislastname-mylastname family" even though that hypenated name won't be eithor of ours.

It works for us and feels very "simple" indeed. Every family has to find their own symbolics in naming, and each family will decide which symbolics of naming are most important to them.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mamawanabe
my dh and I kept our last names and are hypenating our kids' name )hislastname-mylastname). We'll be the "hislastname-mylastname family" even though that hypenated name won't be eithor of ours.
We do something similar with mail that is addressed to the family: we just call ourselves the Mylastname and Hislastname Family. Several of our extended family members don't really know what to put on envelopes, but I make sure to write this in the return address spot. For awhile, mil was so upset about my not taking dh's name that she only used first names when addressing envelopes! Only once I had flown out there twice to help her clean/sort/move her father out of his house (meaning I did all the work!) did she finally start using my last name again.


Kristen
 

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Ds1 has my last name. My dad had 3 girls and no other close family so his last name ends with us. I felt the need to pass it down. Ds2 and dd have mylastname-hislastname because dh wants them to have his last name. I don't like his name one bit so we hyphenated. I tell ds1 that his name is the hypenated one because my kids don't like feeling like they are different from each other right now. I plan tell him at some point that it is his decision.
 
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