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Different opinions

697 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  bestjob
I really want to homeschool my daughter, who is in first grade, but my husband doesn't think it would be a good idea. Did anyone else have this problem? If so, what did you do?
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Well, I don't have this problem because 1) my daughter is still too young and 2) my DH and I are both interested in homeschooling.

But, what I would suggest to you is that you assemble some literature that your DH could read, on the subject of homeschooling. We have a book called the Homeschooling Book of Answers and it is full of stories by different parents about how and why they homeschool. You might also want to sit down and ask your DH why he is against it, then address the specific points he's concerned about (eg. if he's worried about "lack of socialization" you could show him what some homeschooling kids do in a week).
My DH was never against the concept - just a bit unsure at first. We talked about what he had liked (not much) and disliked about school when he was a kid, and I addressed each point by point in relation to homeschooling. I also made a list of the reasons that I wanted to homeschool dd (ended up being about 5 pages!). After both of these things, DH is now the biggest homeschool supporter, and tells everyone that we are homeschooling and how great it is!
My husband was not against it, but had some concerns about it. The book "Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense" by David Guterson is not a "how to" book, but a "why to" book. At the time he wrote it, he was a high school english teacher at a highly regarded public high school in Washington. He and his wife homeschooled their 3 sons.

I've read on other boards that this book in particular seems to speak to men about their concerns. I thought it was a great book and very well written.

Anyway, my husband had questions, and we found the answers. (Usually by my reading, and then telling him what I'd learned). He also talked about it a little bit at work and found other fathers there who's children were homeschooled. He was impressed with what he heard and this made him feel better about the decision. Now he is *so* impressed with homeschooling that he's also an advocate - like mom2kbeth's husband!
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Yes dh and I disagree. He thinks we pay taxes that the kids should go to school. He always tells the kids things like.. when you go to school.
He doesn't really give me slack about it. He just lets me do what I want as long as he does not have to be responsible for the day to day learning. He does great with the field trips though.LOL Last minute trips to the beach etc.
If your dh is willing to read, mine is not, I suggest Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto former teacher of the year in NY. Also
not a how to, but a what is wrong with public schooling.

Is this somehting you think your dh could be convinced to do or is he dead set against no discussion allowed?

If you think thereis some openness there and there is some possibility for discussion I would join a good homeschooling group. that would give him a chance to meet other homeschoolers, see some nice homeschooled kids (my dh was scared it would turn them into nerds
: ) and see that thereismore toit than books and cirriculums and sheltering your kids and all the other negative stereo types out there.

This weekend we had a boig birthday party for my dd who turned 7. out of 9 kids only two were public schooled. he didn't know where everyone went to school. About half way through the Party he commented that J. and M had bad attitudes that would follow them through life. I made a point of telling him that out of the group they were the only two in PS and that is probably what made the difference in how they enteracted with the other kids (and I pointed out the were both perfectly sweet kids when they were over alone
). I don't think I wqill every here another negative thing abouthomeschooling. Just spending one evening with a group of sweet well behaved homeschoolers and seeing the differrence in the way they played etc. . . was enough to convince him for good that this was not a bad choice socially speaking.

Also the proof is in the pudding. Ask your dh for a comprimise. Ask him for one year to prove yourself. Your kids won't fall behind in one year, PS kids don't do that much in a year that isn't either review from the previous year or reviewed the next year. After oneyear if anyone prefers PS then fine but if homeschool is working then you will try it another year. That is pretty much the deal I had with my dh the first year. just knowing that I was open and wanted what was best for my children and not just wanting to be like all my cool friends helped him think it was OK to give it a try.

Good luck.
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We've decided to take ds out of ps for kindergarten, and I thought that when I suggested it, dh would not want to do it. The thing that really bolstered my argument was my personal observations of our son in the classroom environment. Since your dd is in school, another few weeks isn't going to make that much difference. You can go to the classroom either as an observer or as a helper and see what is going on.

Personally, I think that John Taylor Gatto isn't going to persuade anyone but the converted. The good points of his argument are too lost in the anti-school hype. The introductory chapters of "Teach Your Own" by John Holt and Patrick Farenga say much the same thing without seeming so over the top. However, for a quick read, the September 2003 Harper's Magazine had an article by JTG and my dh read it and it may have played a role in his agreement with my proposal to bring our son home.
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