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I have NO idea what I should be doing in this department <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> My dd is 16 months and is a great child. But recently she's been getting into everything. I really think she's testing dh and me to get our reactions. She will go to do something that she knows is wrong, but before she does it she'll call out to us to get our attention so we can see her. I'll tell her "no, that's not safe"..."no, that's dirty" etc etc and she'll just smile at me and go to do it anyways. Up until now "no" always worked with her....but now it's like she's realized she doesn't have to stop at "no". I don't know what the follow up to that is.... I'll go take her away from the situation (away from the kitchen table - where she tries to climb up on etc) but she just runs right back to whatever she was doing and it starts all over again. Is there anything more I should be doing or just be persistant with telling her no and taking her away from what she's doing? I feel like i'm telling her "no" all day long sometimes....
 

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babyproof, babyproof, babyproof.......<br><br>
at that age she literally doesn't have the control to stop herself. so you can spend your whole day saying no or you can change the environment into one that allows her to explore safely. She isn't "testing" YOU, she is testing the world. Her job is to figure everything out. How do you do that? Touch, pull, push, grab, throw, etc....... By babyproofing you can save the word "no" for things that are really important like safety issues. I feel like the word "no" actually means something when you aren't saying it all day.<br><br>
I tried to leave one drawer and 1 cabinet in the kitchen with stuff that was safe. DD had a drawer of tupperware to play with and a cabinet of unbreakable stuff so she had opportunity to explore and play safely while in the kitchen with me.<br><br>
Also at that age they can be really persistant. So redirecting means more than just taking her away from the table. You need to offer an alternative to get her brain onto something else.<br><br>
I remember for me that age was really really hard!! DD was on the move constantly and seemingly "into everything" alllllllllll the time. I think it is just one of the stages you go through and I just tried to make it as easy as possible.<br><br>
Good Luck
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sassafras12</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">babyproof, babyproof, babyproof.......<br><br>
at that age she literally doesn't have the control to stop herself. so you can spend your whole day saying no or you can change the environment into one that allows her to explore safely. She isn't "testing" YOU, she is testing the world. Her job is to figure everything out. How do you do that? Touch, pull, push, grab, throw, etc....... By babyproofing you can save the word "no" for things that are really important like safety issues. I feel like the word "no" actually means something when you aren't saying it all day.<br><br>
I tried to leave one drawer and 1 cabinet in the kitchen with stuff that was safe. DD had a drawer of tupperware to play with and a cabinet of unbreakable stuff so she had opportunity to explore and play safely while in the kitchen with me.<br><br>
Also at that age they can be really persistant. So redirecting means more than just taking her away from the table. You need to offer an alternative to get her brain onto something else.<br><br>
I remember for me that age was really really hard!! DD was on the move constantly and seemingly "into everything" alllllllllll the time. I think it is just one of the stages you go through and I just tried to make it as easy as possible.<br><br>
Good Luck</div>
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YEP! This is great advice. Said what I would have, and probably in a lot fewer words <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I can ramble....
 

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It must be the age. We are going through very similar things with Angelo. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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IMO quickly take her away from whatever you don't want her to do and do something else with her.<br>
Distractions work like a charm. And it won't make her frustrated.<br><br>
Discipline is to teach. What do you want to teach? that she can do something else than what she is not supposed to do.<br><br>
Whenever you can, make discipline fun for the child and yourself. It is the best and most effective way to raise a nice, gentle child.<br><br>
Use the word NO as sparingly as possible. Always suggest alternatives instead. And when you do have to use the word NO, use a kind, matte of fact voice.<br><br>
Don't forget she is getting older and she will have to see how independent she actually is from you. That is her cognitive sense and you don't want to squash that.<br><br>
Let her explore. Kids like something other than toys. They want to use things you use. Be prepared for that. Have things set up that she can use that are not toys.<br><br>
And don't forget to use distraction rather than NO when ever you can. You have to plan ahead but it really works.
 

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Something I read before that has a LOT of truth to it. Basically, young kids have no idea that "no" means that THEY ought to stop themselves. As far as they're concerned, it means that mom is going to come stop them. lol I don't think it even occurs to them to NOT do it. It didn't my ds. lol.<br>
He did that with the dog water- go to it, put his hands in, and wait for me to come move him away. lol.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Gitti</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Discipline is to teach. What do you want to teach? that she can do something else than what she is not supposed to do.<br><br>
(snip)<br><br>
Use the word NO as sparingly as possible. Always suggest alternatives instead.</div>
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ita!<br><br>
I try to offer alternatives, that take into consideration ds's original impulse- so, if he's trying to climb on the kitchen table, I'd find something that is safe for him to climb on. I'd tell him its unsafe to climb on the kitchen table, but he can climb on "x." He loves to climb! So we have a few things in the house that he can climb on- a toddlers picnic bench, a step stool, I put a box in front of his cib so he can climb into that (that's its only use- he doesn't sleep in it lol).<br>
If he's banging on the window with a block, I tell him that I don't like the sound it makes, and that he can wipe the window with a towel, or he can build with the blocks. Or bang on the couch with the block- whatever seems to be closest to his original impulse.<br><br>
Even if kids understand the "no" part, they still don't necessarily know what to do instead. If they just hear "don't climb on the table" it just puts the image of climbing more in their head. lol<br><br>
If he shows interest in something that I don't want him playing with, I try to find something similar that he can play with. Like, he wanted to play in my recipe box- I did let him play in it a couple times, but cards were getting bent, lost, out of order, etc. So, I found a similar shaped box in the house, and cut up some junk mail to fit easily in it. That seemed to satisfy his impulse, he was happy with it, and my recipes are safe lol.<br><br>
Also, all of the cabinets in the house that he can reach, are safe for him to play in. Pots, pans, plastics, etc. Though he rarely plays in them. That may be because when he does want to play in them, I let him play as long as he wants. He gets it out of his system, and has no "unfinished business" lol.
 

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Ours is doing this too. As far as I can tell, he doesn't seem to be challenging the "rules" -- I think he's in fact trying to tell us that he DOES understand them. "Hey! A stove knob! I know that these are off limits! Mommy, Daddy, look what I know!"
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Deva33mommy</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Basically, young kids have no idea that "no" means that THEY ought to stop themselves. As far as they're concerned, it means that mom is going to come stop them. lol I don't think it even occurs to them to NOT do it.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br><br>
I hadn't thought of it that way before. That makes total sense.
 
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