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I put discipline in quotes because I am not really sure that it applies to 2 year olds.

But maybe it does and that's what my problem is.

Here are the issues:

*I talk too much. Today my DD, who turned 2 last month, was digging in my purse and pulling things out. I had already asked her not to do that earlier and she stopped. I had to do something in another room and she was being very quiet, went and found her doing the same thing again (she managed to pull over a chair, climb onto the table and get the purse off a shelf.. ) I got ticked and then basically started a lecture about why she shouldn't do that and I am pretty sure all she understood was her name and mommy and everything else to her was blah, blah, blah. This is just one instance but I find that I give lengthy explanations far tos often. So how do I shorten my explanations without resorting to just saying "NO" (I was at her eye level when I was "lecturing").

*Running away and laughing when I ask her to stop or catch up with her. This happens when I let go of her hand to do something like pay a cashier, etc. I let her walk with me bc the majority of the time she does stay right with me and will come back when I ask her to. As of now, I catch up with her and then I think I end up talking too much - "its dangerous to run off, etc" and I am kind of ticked bc she is laughing so I think I am sounding too harsh also.

*Bribing - I don't but should I? Is she too young for that? How do you do it? She will no longer sit in the grocery cart. Not taking her to the grocery store is not an option. I can't carry her through the store because she is too heavy. I tried a sling but again she really is too heavy for me at this point. If I just put her in the cart and insist she stay there, she begins to wail and scream in angst. I can't stand seeing her like that so I try and carry her. But should I try and bribe her to stay in the cart or something? I don't even know what to say to do this as I am not sure she will get it. (I do know that I will not use food as a bribe)

*Eating - I don't insist on one bite or anything like that. I put the food on a plate and if she eats it that's ok and if she doesn't that's ok. Sometimes I ask if she wants to try it but I don't actually insist. After a while, I will say "All gone?" and if she is done she repeats it back to me. But lately I have found her trying to eat out of the trash can! So maybe she is still hungry and I should start insisting she eat. She doesn't really go for the typical kid things either - she won't touch chicken nuggets, pizza, French fries, - she will eat mac and cheese though. I keep thinking if I had insisted that she try all of those and insisted on "one bite" she might be eating them now. So is it best to insist? Am I setting myself up for a lifetime of problems at the dinner table?

Maggie
 

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You might get some good suggestions in the GD forum, they have some gfreat advice there on gentle discipline (versus no discipline.)

I know my DD 2.5 understands much of what I say though but its often a lack of impulse control at this age. I have to say that she is starting to respond much better than she did at 2 so there is hope! I have recently been focussed on being very clear and giving her options like you can either hold mummy's hand or I will carry you (by the road for example) anyhow not sure I have much good advice as its an on-going issue with DD who is very strong-willed and spirtied, there are some great books in the GD archives that may help you too.
 

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I definitely discipline my ds who is almost 2, and have been for months. I use no punishments or rewards.
I'd say "Don't take stuff out of my purse. I need that stuff to be in there. If you want something, ask me for it" basically that's it.
I might find an old purse and find a way to let ds go through that (if it had happened a few times and seemed to be something he really wanted to do).

Bribing- imo, no. Don't do it.

Food- I'd never insist. If she seems hingry at other times, I'd offer a few more snacks a day. Try a bigger variety of foods to find some filling stuff that she will eat.
 

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2 year olds can be frustrating or fun. It really depends on how you approach things


Just some ideas on how we might handle the examples you gave....

Quote:
Here are the issues:

Today my DD, who turned 2 last month, was digging in my purse and pulling things out. I had already asked her not to do that earlier and she stopped. I had to do something in another room and she was being very quiet, went and found her doing the same thing again
If one of my kids goes through my bag and I don't want them to/ask them to stop I pick it up immediately and CASUALLY put it out of reach. Something like, "that's Mama's bag. Thank you!" and put it on the shelf. It is just expecting too much of the child to NOT go through it again. They are curious, that is their job. Many kids just can't NOT try again. Take it as a good thing, her curiousity will serve her well in life. In the meantime help her not get into things she shouldn't have and keep temptation away until she is old enough to understand.

Quote:
*Running away and laughing when I ask her to stop or catch up with her. This happens when I let go of her hand to do something like pay a cashier, etc. I let her walk with me bc the majority of the time she does stay right with me and will come back when I ask her to. As of now, I catch up with her and then I think I end up talking too much - "its dangerous to run off, etc" and I am kind of ticked bc she is laughing so I think I am sounding too harsh also.

*Bribing - I don't but should I? Is she too young for that? How do you do it? She will no longer sit in the grocery cart. Not taking her to the grocery store is not an option. I can't carry her through the store because she is too heavy. I tried a sling but again she really is too heavy for me at this point. If I just put her in the cart and insist she stay there, she begins to wail and scream in angst. I can't stand seeing her like that so I try and carry her. But should I try and bribe her to stay in the cart or something? I don't even know what to say to do this as I am not sure she will get it. (I do know that I will not use food as a bribe)
I don't necessarily agree with "bribing". Grocery stores are fun places. I prefer to let my kids walk and help me shop. The younger I teach them the better they will be in stores. Of course there are times when there just isn't time for that. On those occasions I bring a bag of snacks and small toys and give them out one at a time. I also allow them to hold and play with the items that I am buying. No harm in shaking the crackers or playing with the broccoli.

Quote:
Sometimes I ask if she wants to try it but I don't actually insist. After a while, I will say "All gone?" and if she is done she repeats it back to me. But lately I have found her trying to eat out of the trash can! So maybe she is still hungry and I should start insisting she eat. She doesn't really go for the typical kid things either - she won't touch chicken nuggets, pizza, French fries, - she will eat mac and cheese though. I keep thinking if I had insisted that she try all of those and insisted on "one bite" she might be eating them now. So is it best to insist? Am I setting myself up for a lifetime of problems at the dinner table?
I like to allow them to eat like the "grown ups" (and older sibs) as soon as possible. All 3 of ours sit at the table with there own plates and utensils (just like ours). They can dish themselves food (with help when they are too young) and choose what/how much they eat. My 5 yo has eating issues so we do have to insist on what and how much he eats (or he won't eat), but the other 3 have full control. They eat what we eat, no "kid food" at all in our house.

There are lots of gentle and fun ways to interact with kids. Be creative and remember your sense of humor
2 year olds can be great people to be around if you let them.
 

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My ds is 20.5 months - not 2 yet.... but SO FAR.... I give simple explanations, like the pp talked about. Stuff like "Mommy needs everything to stay right in the bag. Those aren't toys in the bag. Those things are just for Mommy. No more bag, bye bye bag.", taking the bag and putting it away, etc. It seems to work to add something validating, like, "I know it can be fun to look through stuff in a bag... but we're done with the bag"... and he SO FAR gives up stuff pretty easily if he has to. I really don't "discipline", in the punishment/time out sense, I think he doesn't have the impulse control or understanding yet.

For the supermarket- DS doesn't mind being put in the cart at first, but pretty soon after he's wiggling and starting to climb out saying "down". What I do is let him get down and walk around only in aisles that are relatively kid safe - the baby aisle with all the diaper packages (and baby pictures to look at) and the freezer aisle, where everything is behind doors. So in other aisles, I tell him it's not a good aisle for him to get down, but later there will be one. And I have a constant stream of snacks and little books for him while he's sitting. Mostly he likes to hold stuff we're buying, like pieces of fruit, etc. If he does run away past the end of the aisle where I let him out, I immediately scoop him up and tell him he needs to stay near Mommy.

Hope there are some ideas here for you. Or maybe once they hit 2 they're just a different animal altogether!
 
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