[Tattiana]

I have been having "false" labor instances all week. The only thing that made me able to deal with this was the idea that they were doing something. I am tired of waking at night in painful contrax or trying to deal with 4 kids in pain, and constantly wondering if this is "it" only to have it fizzle out. I found out today that there has been NO CHANGE in my cervix this week. I felt so betrayed by my body! I usually am dilated to a 4 at this point in my pregnancies (this is my 5th full term PG) and I am only at a 2 right now and not real soft (so much for all the help EPO and sex are). I have been cramping and contracting all day and it just makes me angry, now, feeling that I am suffering for NO REASON. Of course, the 4 hours of interrupted sleep I got last night due to contrax isn't helping my mood any.

Now, I have been rather depressed to the point that I really want to give birth soon because I am beginning to resent this baby. I cried all day today and can't seem to stop because I feel so bad that I can't seem to get a handle on things and I had hoped to hear that my body was AT LEAST doing something! I'm so discouraged. I know that I am being irrational, I have just never been THIS irrational and emotional in any of my PGs and I just want it over, hoping that things will be better when baby is here. I have literally avoided all people today because I am so swollen from crying and I can't talk about it without crying. I told DH I am staying home until this baby comes because I can't handle it. I'm just too emotional and I am tired of busting into tears for stupid reasons. It is embarrassing!

My doc is ok because he says that with my 5th baby, sometimes you don't progress the way with the others. Not sure what to think about that. Why would this PG all of a sudden be so different? (I'm at the point in my PG where I gave birth to my others, too and I just have NO confidence that my body will do it this time).

I know this is a good argument for not checking dilation, but for me, old habits have died hard. I have my first 3 years ago and I am so used to the mainstream way of doing things that I guess I still "need" to hear that there is progress.

 

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Don't be discouraged. Dilation means nothing. You could be pushing in an hour.

There is just no way to tell.

 

[mimiharshe]

Oh mama...hang in there. I know how you feel. I've been having contractions off and on for 10 days now and for about 40 hours they were strong and every 10 minutes only to fizzle down today. Your baby knows what he/she is doing. Don't resent baby, but respect him/her. Realize that this baby is perfect and knows more than you or I ever could right now. Even if you have been pregnant full term 4 other times, this baby is not the same as your others. Your body and baby may need to do things differently this time. Listen to your intuition, your body and baby. After the kids get to bed tonight take some time for you to RELAX. You deserve it. I know it's hard for us moms to really slow down and do something for ourselves.

You can check out this link to see that you aren't the only one going through this. I'm here for you and with you!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=759490

 

[MsBlack]

A couple of things for you:

One is, go ahead and cry...it's good for body and soul at this stage of things. It releases tension and toxins, helps you open physically and emotionally for birth.

Second thing--it's really NOT FALSE LABOR! It's 'labor by installments'...your body and your baby are working their way gradually up to the Main Event. There are probably good reasons for this, ones you may never know, or may not understand until later (sometimes a cord that is on the short side will have this effect, for instance, helping everything get 'just right' for your baby and body to manage this--other reasons could be possible, too. The body is wise, birth is wise....).

3. Are you eating and drinking enough? While you are staying close to home, do make sure that you are really well-hydrated and well-fed. It may be hard to rest well, but see what you can do for yourself...little naps, laying around as much as possible. You are gearing up for birth, help yourself get ready. Can anyone help you out for the next couple of days? Can the other kids get care from grandparents/friends a few hours at a time? And I hope you are not worrying yourself over housework or other extraneous stuff right now....just be really nice to yourself and baby.

Trust the process, dear mama...all is as it should be. Yes, moms do establish birthing patterns of a sort for themselves...but still, every labor is different. Try not to judge yourself/labor by the yardstick of past births; let this one be it's own unique self and stay in the moment with it all. Baby will be in your arms soon!

 

[Tattiana]

I'm feeling better today. I resorted to taking a unisom last night and slept for 9 hours (which I desperately needed). I guess that I am a bit scared that it isn't going according to what I would expect and I had so hoped that it would be over soon and that this insane emotional stuff would end or subside once the baby is here.

 

[starbarrett]

I'm glad you're feeling better. It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do!! It's no wonder you're tired and ready to have this pregnancy over with-- you have 4 kids!! You must be exhausted!! I have two, and that's plenty! You're a rock!

I'm right there with you. Two days ago, I was contracting fairly regularly all day. Then less and less yesterday, and now nothing much at all. sigh. I tell myself this is a good thing, that my body is working gradually.. blah blah blah. It's so hard to care about all that when you're exhausted and just want it done!!!

Last pregnancy, when I was approaching 2 weeks over due, I took a vacation for a day! I was completely desolate and not wanting to think or feel reality. So I left. =) I left dd with my parents and dh and I went to a neighboring tourist town an hour and a half away. I probably would have been screwed if I went into labor, but that was part of the defiance of it all! It was great to get away from everything! I totally recommend it if you can get the sitting!!

hang in there and good luck!