No scorchers here because the title says 1yr old..... I need no flames thrown at me........
I have two DD's. My older, Elianna will be one next week. My second is 9 days old. I feel like I have thrown my Elli's life upside down so many times, and her bahavoir is on me.
My husband was deployed for 7 months back in September, and I think Daddy leaving was hard, even though she is kind of unaware of it. But he was the one who got her to sleep at night, and was the biggest cuddler with her. Before DH got deployed, I had my sister, her bf, and 2 boys move in with us, so my sis could be here when I had DD2. Her boys are now 26 and 14 months old, so they're relatively close in age to DD1.She is also pregnant again. My sister and her bf are not big on APing, and we have totally different views on parenting. I'm not hardcore APer, but I believe in it's values...... BFing, co-sleeping, baby wearing and so on. DD! who is forever on my hip, and that doesnt fly with them. My sis' bf told her he doesnt want her to breastfeed cause my daughter is too needy
So, I left her here when I went in the hospital (i side-carred her crib to their bed) had a c-section from hell, and a slow recovery. My incision is still open, and it's wound packed. I know I'm not supposed to be lifting her, at risk of tearing my incision, and basically never healing, but I can't help it. There are 3 other kids here plus my one year old, and not enough hands for her.
She loves to be held. She needs to be in bed with you to go to sleep. She cries if I walk past her without picking her up, even if someone is holding her. Her bedtime of 8pm is now close to midnight since I've been home from the hospital, cause she just won't go down easy.
She is really rather good with the baby. She is always kissing her, and hugging her, but doesn't understand she can't hold her
she is mostly good about her baby sister, but still i notice
but the thing is.....
with me being basically useless, and my sis and bf with their differnt parenting styles, im just getting really frustrated. they tell her "NO, You can't be held all the time" and I can't stand listening to her cry cause they won't pick her up. When I go and scoop her off the floor cause hearing "NO" is the end of the world to her they get pissed at me. They tell me that they're trying to help, and I'm going against everything they say. Last time I checked, she was my daughter. She's barely one, and I feel needs that.
But no matter what it is, she does act like its the end of the world with a lot of things, and its even starting to frustrate me. Once I'm healed, I don't mind co-sleeping again with her (i can't risk her kicking my incision in the night) even though I don't know how to co-sleep with a 1yr old and newborn, but that will be my next thread!
Back to the disipline. She kicks, and contorts her body so rigid, and slaps your hands away. She screams until she gets picked up, and once she is picked up, wants down, and then screams even louder. I don't want to be the parent with a 4year old getting kicked in target, and the kid runs off laughing. I feel like I'm giving into her, which everyone around me is saying she is "spoiled" When she is really over-tired, the only way she will go to sleep is to have my cell phone in her hand with the media player on so she can listen to music.
I try talking to my husband about it, but there's not much insight he can offer from halfway around the world. I don't want a spoiled kid. She surprisingly is not an overly affectionate baby where she wants to cuddle for hours, but enjoys her mommy and me time.
I am sick of hearing its my fault that she is like she is, and she's only gunna get worse. i know i can't nessecarily change her bedtime habit overnight, and that's fine.
Do you all think that everytime I bend over to pick her up when she is crying that I am only making her tantrums worse? I mean she will scream at the top of her lungs like she is getting murdered. I feel that she is secure with me, and I love that about our relationship. Any opinions here would be great. Thanks