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Discussion Starter #1
nak here...<br>
My 1 yo gets very frustrated when she wants something that she can't have. My instinct is always to just ride through her emotions with her rather than find something to distract her with (which only works sometimes with her) Is distracting her teaching her to suppress her emotions? I usually say "oh! you want that so bad! it's hard for you to not have it!!" or something like that while she screams, wheras my il's (who babysitt twice a week) always distract her with something and have never seen any tantrum like behavior from her at all. thoughts on this?
 

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I think riding through the emotions of a 12 month old might be a little tiring for both of you by the end of the day! Only because she's probably not quite as into whatever the no-thing happens to be at the time as you might think. At 12mos distraction is probably the way to go. You'll have plenty of time for sorting out emotions as her attention span and understanding increase.<br><br>
I used distraction with my ds until it didn't work anymore, maybe around 2yrs. He's incredibly detail oriented and focused so I can't really use distraction to calm him or anything. But he thrives on long-winded explanations and that satisfies him more than anything else! He's three now and certainly still in touch with his emotions!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But I guess all I'm saying is that maybe she's just ok with some empathy than quick redirection at this point?
 

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I think a healthy way for ADULTS to deal with disappointment is to acknowledge feelings of sadness and loss, then turn your attention to something else. A less healthy way to deal with disappointment would be to sit in front of the thing you can't have and get stuck in your sad feelings.<br><br>
So when you sympathize with her, then help her turn her attention to something else (in other words, redirection), you are teaching her a healthy way to deal with disappointment.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
thank you so much for your comments, they make a lot of sense
 
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