An update for every one. This was definitely one of the hardest days in my life. Enclosed here is the letter that I wrote to the LLL leader in my area who has been very helpful, supportive and encouraging, just as you all have been.
Piglet68, no worry, I appreciate your humor. I just wish you ladies could have been flies on the wall to see for yourself the complete pompous, insensitivity of the judge. Your 'honorable' so and so is the last TITLE that he deserves, in my humble opinion.
Morgans_mom, he didn't give a sh&* that I was eager to be a juror at a more appropriate time. His ego/power trip certainly got the better of him today. I even questioned him about the legislation and he TOTALLY DISMISSED IT (he was RIPPED) that i would have even questioned him and immediately threw in my face that I had a civic duty to serveand blah blah...that is when I said i completely understood and could appreciate that and even looked forward to the opportunity to serve.
Gurumama, your comments strike very close to home.
|But doesn't the NH breastfeeding state that mothers have a right to breastfeed anywhere the mother is reasonably requred/permitted to be?|
and that was what I was referring to when I questioned the judge. He stated that no such legislation even exists. Of course I know that it does, but without counsel am not sure specifically how the legislation applies in this circumstance. Maybe morgans_mom, you could help me here. Who might I go to to learn about how this piece of legislation applies and what would be the best way of proceeding at this point if my rights have been violated?
Here is the letter:
I am so grateful to come home to your letter today. Court was AN ORDEAL! to put it mildly. The judge did not find my request adequate enough to warrant my deferrement. It is absolutely mind boggling to me. YET, a very concrete (and extremely sad) reminder of what our society has deteriorated to. My number was picked for FOUR of the six jury's being selected. I ended up being excused from two of them due to conflict (sexual abuse in my own background, which was another whole issue in itself outside of my nursing/childcare request. The judge made me feel like I was on trial because I had not selected the box that asked if had had a crime committed against me. Quite frankly the thought just did not cross my mind when I was completing that portion of the survey.)
Anyway, I was chosen to serve on one jury, which I admitted to the judge that I did not believe I could remain objective for which I was being completely honest and not just saying it), and he dismissed my reasons again as inadequate and required me to sit in the jurror box and consequently ended up being chosen. (Then he openly stated to me that he felt I would make an excellent juror, well, you know I totally agreed with him but at a point in time in which it is appropriate for me to serve.) I was pretty much a "mess" all day. Literally had diarrhea the whole day and so many strong feelings about how little regard I was given today as a mother and human being doing what I see as the best I can and know how for my baby.
"it is physiologically and emotionally normal for you and your 10 month old to be intertwined and you should not be expected to spend a full day apart"
Thank you so much for that validation. I have an extremely keen sense of intuition and "inner knowing" of right and wrong, and this whole experience today had me questioning myself and whether I even have the right to be feeling the "need" so strongly to be with my little one.
"It is going to be very difficult to tell a bunch of professional people, many of whom have undoubtedly felt they had to put their own children in day care from infancy onwards, that our society's habitual separation of parents and children may not be appropriate and should not be forced on those who have chosen to stay together."
Yes, again, you were absolutely and totally right on in this statement. Such an eye opener for me. I realize I have been able to live such a beautiful ideal of mother/child relationship with my two. (Thanks to the Divine and my like-minded husband, who sees eye to eye with me on how we practice AP. Certainly not the case for the vast majority in our society, and even more than that, is that most people just accept what is the "norm" as that's the way "IT SHOULD BE". A degenerative state of affairs to say the least. And certainly evidenced by the moral, social, emotional, health, relational,marital, and even educational realms in our society. Our society has such potential and at the same time we live in so many ways like we are in the stone age.
"Postpartum depression is often worsened by lack of firm societal support for the profound task of child-rearing, and this situation certainly isn't helping!"
Again, you have GOT THAT RIGHT> I am such the type that I feel I just must persist and do the best I can and I also think honestly that I have felt so overwhelmed much of the time that I haven't had the reserves to even find a way to really reach out. There is also the embarrasment of feeling like I just have to take better care of myself, eat right, get more exercise, discipline myself, yadda yadda yadda. (finding the extra umph/ inner reserves for these things has been out of my reach for these last months....you know the mental talk that sometimes can keep us prisoner of our own self-imposed demons. So, NO I have not sought out any specific assistance for the postpartum. I did go and see someone after Vajl was born (my first), I saw her for several sessions and it did help at that point in time. Just the talking and having someone to validate what I was going through at the time. I am interested in learning more about Kathleen Kendall-Tackett and her work. Going through this whole jury process has helped me to see how overloaded I really am. It has honestly felt like more than I could process and as evidenced today by my bodies "overwhelmed release" (via my lower plumbing) I saw first hand how exactly distressed my body is.
I will subscribe to the publication you mention, New Beginnings. Is it a print magazine or ezine? I am open to seeing someone, but do not know of anyone in the area who would be a good fit. I will begin to contemplate this and start praying and asking for guidance.
In regards to a note from our doc. I happened to see her on my way home from the court house (the timing of it was COMPLETELY SYNCHRONISTIC. Very weird. I told her what was going on and she is willing to write a note. (She said that in the past she has had good results just stating that it is not medically advisable for her patient to be seperated from her baby for such an extended period of time). I would like to be able to take the appropriate actions though to help ensure that other nursing moms, or even those who are not nursing but still feel the need/desire to not be seperated from their babies/toddlers...are allowed that RIGHT (in my mind it seems an inalienable right, what is more basic that this???????)
For now, Thank you again, and I look forward to hearing from you.