[Carma]

I am not sure what to do. We are expecting our second child in August and I will take a leave of about 4-5 months. Our first child is in daycare full time now. I could take her out completely for the leave period or part-time or keep her full-time schedule.
Everyone I asked IRL says it is better to leave her at daycare because that way her schedule does not change and she will handle the new baby better.
I think I will feel guilty of leaving her at daycare while being at home. On the other hand I will be busy taking care of the newborn. And maybe it is better for her to keep the same schedule. What did you do? She will be ~23 months when the new baby is here.

Carma

 

[nextcommercial]

Most of my daycare parents still bring the older sibling.

But, it is sometimes a hassle to me because the one I have now, shows up at lunch time, and then the kids want to play with her. I wish they would bring her over by 9:00-ish.

I personally think the kids do better coming over at least part time. They still like their friends, and their friends miss them when they are gone. Plus, the little one I have now, is driving her Mom nuts.

 

[kate~mom]

i did because after my leave, i went to half time - which allowed dh or i to be the only caregiver for ds's first 18 months. we just couldn't afford daycare for dd on that plan, so she went to a small preschool three mornings a week that year for significantly less $ and arguably a better experience. whether that was a good plan for my sanity, i'm not sure

but it was the only one we could afford.

 

[intorainbowz]

I've wondered about this as well. I think I will likely go part time, if for no other reason to keep her spot.

 

[wawap]

I'm keeping him home. He'd rather be home & I'd rather take a couple of months off of paying before I have to start paying for two....

 

[Ape94]

I dropped DS1 to part time when DS2 came along. I sent him 3 days a week during the first month I was off, and then 2 days a week for the last 2 months of my leave. I thought it worked out great for us.

 

[hrcmom]

I just finished up my 3 month leave after DD was born in March. DS, who just turned 3, went to daycare 3 days per week. He slept in the mornings, and we made it there by 9 or so, and I'd pick him up at 4. I thought it was important for him to maintain some sort of consistency and it was great for me to get time just with DD (and, I must admit, get something done around the house.) It was a good fit for us.

 

[subrosa]

I haven't done this yet, still being a mama to one, but I think, in that situation, I'd prefer to have the older child in care at least part-time. I would want the older child to be able to have the stability of his usual routine when so much else is changing, and I'd also like the younger child to get some one-on-one mama time.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[Carma]

Thanks for all the replies! Part time is also sounding most ideal to me, to keep the spot and to keep the regularity.

I looked at the rates they have for part-time. The fee for 4 days is the same as for 5 days. 5 half days is same as 3 days. 3 days is only 25% cheaper than 5 days. So maybe I will pay full time to start to be more flexible when to bring her and to see how it goes (they want 30 days notice for a change).

Carma

 

[kewb]

When I had my second our plan was to keep ds home with us the first couple of weeks so we could bond as a family. 3 days later we brought him back to daycare. He missed his friends, his schedule was all off, etc. I did drop off later and picked up earlier then when I was at work. He loved being back in his routine and seeing his friends. I kept him full time because there were no guarantees a full time spot would be available when I returned to work.

The other thing I did that I think helped tremendously with jealousy issues is I had the babysitter come every morning for an hour or so. She watched my dd while I took ds to daycare so he and I were able to have that alone time in the car. This also gave me the chance to stop and have a beverage alone on the way back. Saved my sanity.

 

[mamatoablessing]

No. DD was only in school 3 days a week, but no, we continued to send her to school after DD2 was born. First of all, I thought the consistency in her routine was terribly important. Her whole life was changing because of a new baby. I wanted something to remain constant and reliable of her. Secondly, I wanted alone time with the new baby. DD1 was lucky to have me all to herself until she was 2 years old. I would never be able to give the new baby that, but at least I could dedicate myself fully her to on those 3 days a week.

In the end, I really think we made the right decision. DD1 thrived in school and I think that made her happier at home. And mom and babe got to spend a lot of good quality time at home, cuddling, nursing, playing, walking,without worrying about anyone else for those 6 hours a day.

 

[Very Snoofly]

My daughter was 3.5 years and attending daycare MWF when my second was born. We pulled her out completely, in part to save money and in part because she was signed up to start a new preschool that fall anyway.

Also, I knew that she would've been absolutely devastated to have to go to school if I was at home. Before my maternity leave, staying home with Mommy was a big deal -- she absolutely would not have understood why she had to go to daycare if I was not going to work. That was (is!) her personality, though.

It was a bit rough on me, but my husband had 6 weeks paternity leave, and my inlaws helped out a lot -- they'd take her out to lunch, or to go swimming, or to the park. So I still was able to get some one-on-one time with my new baby.

 

[jadzia's_mommy]

We took her out for a few reasons. First was that the daycare was near my office, not my house (20 miles away). Second was that I was going to be taking 6 months of maternity leave, some unpaid, and my DH was undergoing a medical treatment at the time and also was out of work. So we really couldn't afford the extra cost, even if it was close enough. Third; DD#1 was constantly sick in day care. We'd only started her a few months earlier, and it was nonstop viruses. Her little body needed some time to heal up. And I didn't want her bringing any more illnesses home with a newborn in the house.

I'm back at work now, but we're doing a completely different routine--DH works nights, I work days, and we have a part time nanny to cover the overlap. It's complicated, but it's working out nicely. Sometimes I think DD#1would maybe do better in a day care/preschool setting, but I also think she's doing well spending a lot of time with me, DH and and her baby sister.

 

[UmmBnB]

Dh quit working about a month or two before dd was born so we officially stopped day care at that time. But, since we knew his sahd stint would not be forever, and because ds LOVES dcp so much, we dropped in as needed....either our need or ds's need. I'd say over those first few months while we were all home together he went 3 - 4 days a month. Later on, after I returned to work, he went a little more often but it was totally dependent on what he wanted to do that day. Often dh, ds and dd just went to her house to hang out so he could play for a couple hours.

 

[LiamnEmma]

~~I didn't read the other posts~~

I took mine out. I took a leave of 5-6 months. One month prior to birth and just over five after birth. I immediately enrolled ds in a Gymboree program, six months of unlimited attendance and we went a couple of times a week--it was costly, but probably still less than having kept him in daycare would have been. It got us out of the house (which I desperately needed but didn't really realize it at the time) and both of us socialized. Plus it turned out that several of the moms there were also having their seconds and it turned into it's own mother's group. Perfect. I'm so glad I did.

eta; I was lucky and they automatically saved my spot (I paid a registration fee for both kids) and ds was 21 months when dd was born.

 

[LynnS6]

No. Ds was in daycare part time. He'd just started the previous fall, and had a pretty rough adjustment. I felt that taking him out for the summer and then starting again in the fall would have been detrimental to his adjustment there. And since he was only part time (3x a week), he still had time at home with us. We usually dropped him off later and picked him up earlier than we did when I was working, so he was only there 6 hours a day.

For him, I think it was the right decision. He made his first friend that summer (he'd just turned 3), and those 2 boys are still best friends 3 years later!

 

[becoming]

I'm keeping my 20-month-old home with me during my 8-week leave. She's in daycare full-time right now except for random days that her biodad keeps her.

I am really worried about her transition into being a big sister, and I think it would be much worse if I hauled her off to daycare every day and stayed home with the baby.

I'm keeping my 5.5-year-old home with me, too, until he starts school at the end of August.

Coming back to add, I *might* bring both of the older two to daycare one day a week or so just to give them something to do outside the house, and also to give myself a little break. Not sure if I'll actually do this, but it'll be nice to have the option!

 

[Carma]

All the points you girls make are playing a role for me too!
Will DD bond better with the baby when she is also at home?
Her drop-offs are not very easy already, will that be worse if she knows I am at home?
The money, my leave is also partly unpaid.
Is keeping the routine better for her?
If we take her out will she have a rough start again?
Will it be too hard for me to be home with a 2 year old and a newborn, I am ussually a full time WOHM.
Etc. etc.
Think I'll continue to pay full time daycare and try it out (part-time versus full-time versus none etc.), I can change her schedule 30 days in advance, so I can try it out at first and make a change for the final couple of months.

Thanks again for all your insights!

Carma

 

[daytripper75]

We kept ours in 1-2 days a week. I usually took her about lunchtime and came and got her when her nap was over, so we weren't missing much quality time with each other. It did give me a break and it gave me some precious time with ds.
I really recommend keeping children on their schedule somewhat. It worked out great for us that lunch was at 11:30 and nap was from 12-3ish. It gave me 3 solid hours of me/baby and me time whenever I needed it and it kept dd feeling steady.
Suzy

 

[wawap]

DH just had back surgery and was out for about two months. We pulled him out of daycare for the last 6 weeks of that (DH needed two weeks to be kid free at home - he couldn't drive or lift more than 5 pounds...). He had NO issues readjusting back to daycare after the leave of absence and I saved 6 weeks of tuition money. Our daycare lets us do LOA for things like this & one week tuition paid in advance holds the spot. So, his first week back was prepaid.

Anyway - it depends on your child. My kid has NO problems with changes in his routine. He'd much rather be at home any time, even though he truly loves his daycare, has no drop off issues, etc. ((shrugs)) Nothing like that seems to phase him, so I'm keeping him home. He's SO looking forward to the new baby, too.