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Do I really just leave it alone?

620 Views 10 Replies 11 Participants Last post by  hummingbear
Okay, some of you read my post regarding leaving my third son intact (my other two, sadly, were circ'd).
My only semi-personal experience with an intact child is my brother. He was born 3mos premature and wasn't able to be circ'd. My brothers born before and after him were both circ'd. My intact brother hasn't ever had any infections or anything that I know of, but he is developmentally delayed, and doesn't really grasp basic hygiene issues anyway, so it wouldn't surprise me if he's had them.

Anyway...I talked to my mother about intact care (as she would be the only person I know who would have that info). She's disgusted that I would leave my child whole. To her, it's dirty, disgusting, and a cause of infection. The only thing I got out of her is that you have to retract the foreskin at every diaper change to make sure it's all clean.

Fortunately, I've read enough here to know that's not true! (Y'all are such good teachers!) I've seen the issue covered in a couple of books, and it doesn't really tell me anything! Maybe I just think it will be more "work" than a circ'd one...and the books seem to make it look too easy. Like if so many people think it's so dirty and gross, there should be more steps to care for an intact penis! Does that make any sense at all?

So do I really just leave it alone? And it really is clean all by itself?
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Yup, just leave it alone!
Keep the outside clean just like you would his bum.

When you see it for yourself, you will understand!
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After ds was born I kept thinking this same thing, "what was all the fuss about, what am I not doing"...... but it really is that easy. Just wipe and go, like you do with their little fingers and little toes.
If you retracted after every diaper change you would be causing long term damage AND infections,so that advice is definately out.Let your mother know that. My son is 2 and has never had an infection,never been retracted,and I have never even seen any type of smegma or other discharge out of his penis.
I have had more problems with my dd than my son.Hygene as a reason to circ boys is such bs.
Another mama of an intact son telling you it really is that easy, just leave it alone.
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Yes m'am, you just leave it alone. Just wipe the outside like you would a finger. A ton less work than a circumcised baby. No wound to clean, no remnant skin to pull back, nothin. Just a swish in the tub once in a while and he will be fine.

This is a great pamphlet to print out if you are interested,

Compare that to circ care,

And never, ever let anyone retract him(except for himself!)

Good luck and take care!
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Yep. so easy. just wipe, wash like any other part of his body. no problems here with intact ds!
Just agreeing with the others--leave it alone. My ds is 3.5 and we've never had to do anything special, just regular bathing. You'll see, there's nothing to it.
another mama of 2 cut 1 whole son and I have to say he was MUCH easier to care for. I was worried about those blow out diapers and what if goo got in there but it wasn't an issue. I just wiped like I wiped anything else. I honestly have more problems with getting the stickies out of the scrotum creases!

At 2.5 it is starting to retract, but not forced. I just discovered that one day wiping gently. Nothing like the forced retractions around the cut of DS2 when it tried to grow together
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yep, just leave it alone. if your mom was following the retraction advice with your brother - he probably did get infections, and it probably was hard to care for. with the experience she probably had, its no wonder that she has the feelings she does about it. it does strike me as odd, though, that if circing was so bloody important to her that she didn't have it done when your brother was well enough. okay,t hat was a little oT, just a thought that crossed my mind. anyhow, i'm just posting to say that if your mother will be caring for this baby at all - make sure she ABSOLOUTELY knows and agrees that the foreskin should NOT be retracted at diaper changes. print out a pamphlet on intact care etc and make sure she reads it. KUDOS to you for makign this decision.
Like all the others out there............ easy easy easy ..... behind ears is harder.

Ditto for letting your mother and anyone else who may be caring for him to leave it alone! Even people you think have the knowledge. My son was almost retracted by a nurse friend of mine; she thought you had to retract it

The hardest part of having an intact son is probably protecting them from other ignorant people forcibly retracting them.
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