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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, please ignore me if this is too much! (I had a thread asking about Scotland, then about where in the UK to move....)<br><br>
I am feeling a bit torn about this tonight.... And TBH, I just don't know enough about living in the UK to make the decision to take our lives there. And, yet, it does seem like the best option for us.<br><br>
I would love to hear your opinions about what is great and not so great there.<br><br>
We got married in the USA and spent 2 years there. To us, it is a country with a huge amount of both plusses and minuses, too many to list, really. We see more minuses than plusses, though, so at the moment it is not an option for us.<br><br>
For the past 4 years we have lived in Northern Europe. There are some amazing things (social security systems that really supports families, free universities, etc.) BUT, to generalize, the people don't talk to anyone they have not known for 10 years and are bitter and half asleep for half of the year. There is also a strong feeling of "truth", what everyone needs to think, and that this is the most developed place in the world, meaning one should not question anything. I also don't know any child past 3 here that is not in daycare, which makes it hard for our 4-year-old daughter to find friends. We just don't fit the mold here, at all, and it is a place that does not accept being different very well at all...<br><br>
The UK has a ton of home schoolers and lots of people who share our faith. On the other hand, it is the leading Western European nation in teenage pregnancies, there seem to be plenty of drug problems, etc. I am just afraid of moving and discovering that our new home is much worse than either of our old homes... Also the possible new legistlation for home schooling (and abut sex ed in schools, thanks very much, it is MY responsibility to teach my child those things!) scare me.<br><br>
We do not at all expect the majority to be like-minded. We just want to find our little part of the world, where we can make enough friends and otherwise be left alone to live the way we feel is right for us. As long as people are friendly, it is enough...<br><br>
Thanks to anyone who read all the way to the end. What do you like about the UK (or your particular area) and what do you dislike? If you were in my shoes, would you move there?
 

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I have lived abroad but I still prefer being here. Here is normal to me and elsewhere I was a foreigner no matter how well I spoke the language. The view from my house over the main street and down to the Caribbean was lovely but ultimately my life was the same in many ways. Children, cooking, cleaning washing shopping talking surviving. It is all the same no matter what the view from the window.<br><br>
I think if you start to weigh things up and you are comparing two 'foreign' countries rather than another vs your own then it is tricky. You can get all clinical about it and start to worry about things like teenage pregnancy and drugs which in fact don't touch the vast majority of people here.<br><br>
The home ed thing may not happen - the government hare going to have real trouble getting any bills through the House before an election in May and there are a lot of us shouting about this.<br><br>
I would give it a go. If you don't like where you are then choosing to stay there for the next year isn't going to make you happy is it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks, Orangefoot!<br><br>
I guess what I should have explained is that we are now in my native country and dh is from the US. Therefore, at least one of us will have to be in a "foreign" culture, no matter what. We have now tried both the countries and feel like a third option might be the best. The UK is a rather logical option, as we, including our daughter, already speak English.
 

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I am a Brit, married to a Canadian, having lived in Canada and the U.S, currently living in the UK.<br>
We intend to go back to Canada as I see it as a better place for us.<br><br>
The UK has it's good parts, home ed wise it's fine, lots of groups and things going on. I agree, the law isn't going to change that quickly.<br><br>
People are friendly and open, and love a good chat. We have just moved again and haven't had any problems meeting new people.<br><br>
I think there are problems in any country. My concern about being here long term is raising teenagers here.<br><br>
HTH<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Pick your area. We started out raising our family in Essex, in a university town that was strongly multicultural, living in the "old" part of that town- lots of terraced housing, many students as neighbours, and a lot of student families, and left there when the boys were 8 and 6. From there, we moved to a rough council estate in Swindon- the town with the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe at the time- and that estate was, frankly, horrific. Streets full of feral children, a fledgeling gang culture, a failing school and some real hostility from the neighbours. Six months ago, we moved a mile and a half away, but within the same town, and it's made a huge difference to our lives. We don't have to be afraid to let my sons play out any more. There's a network of cycle paths around, a library within walking distance and, when old enough, a good youth club.<br><br>
I have a number of friends who are Swedish or German, in particular, and whilst they miss home, they're settled here and happy raising families.<br><br>
Why don't you pop over for a visit and see what you think?
 

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ankh ~ I have a teenager and he is OK! He has got to 16 with out many incidents of concern, certainly nothing really rally awful imo anyway.<br><br>
Raising teens anywhere is a worry when you are looking at it fearfully from a toddler or pre-teen age. You grow into being a parent of a teen just as they grow into being a teen - it isn't a sudden change so you do your best to keep alongside them and keep talking.<br><br>
In terms of dangers, I think that modern societies everywhere have their challenges for teens and if you can keep your home and your family a safe and secure place for them the madness outside can be escaped by coming home. Sometimes that is all you can do but it is valuable.
 

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I'm in *******.<br><br>
Scotland is my home. Actually, i'm of russian extraction and i was born in England, we didn't move here until i was 5, but it's my home nonetheless. I seem to have pine needles and rain water in my veins <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I don't homeschool, but laws don't change that fast in the UK, and there is generally a way around even when they do. Even if it means 2 weeks of arbitrary hoop-hopping a year or something, i doubt it will be outlawed in any meaningful way t thosewho are genuinely doing it. I know several social workers who work "cracking down" on homeschoolers - those people are not homeschooling. They are not unschooling. They are unable to get motivated enough to get their many many kids dressed in time for school, or to organise them clean clothes to wear FOR school so they simply don't bother sending them. The biggest things those kids are learning at home is "when dad is drunk you better keep your head down". I really doubt those who are really homeschooling or even unschooling who have their children's minds and hearts at the front of their motivations will be forcibly stopped.<br><br>
Teen pregnancy rates and sex ed might sound scary, but you can always opt out of the educational bit, and if you're doing a decent job yourself (which i assume most parents who are concerned about what the school teaches ARE) your kids are unlikely to suddenly get pregnant or get someone pregnant out of the blue. Of the teens who got pregnant when i was at school and those who i've met since, only one was on a path to college/success before that. The rest were showing up at school sporadically to meet boys and gossip, waiting until they were old enough to get their own council flat. They were from families wherehaving a baby at 15 was normal (three of those i know are the 3rd generation to fall pregnant before 18 in their families), there's so much more going on there than just post codes. And the ONE girl i knw who was really smart and just had a contraceptive failure? She's an MD now, in neonatal medicine. She graduated 3 years later than if she'd never had her little girl because she spend that time, at 16, at home BFing and APing, so not every teen pregnancy is a sad story either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
In scotland i love how friendly the people are (i'm in the west). And how bluntly honest. People just say whatever is in their heads, and if you've a thickish skin and a good sense of humour you'll never be short of company and conversation. The land here is like nowhere else on earth, there are still places in Scotland which you have to sail to because there are no roads. Generosity is still seen as a character strength here and strangers will go right out of their way to help - i have made lifelong friends from having a crisis in public and being "rescued" by some kindly person.<br><br>
The lows? The weather sucks, it pretty much rains October-March continuously in *******. Overall the country is affluent but the gulf between ich and poor is horrific. There really ARE people who can light cigars with £50's and people who have to choose between heat and food.<br><br>
Is there any way you can come over for a few months without cutting ties where you are now? Suck it and see? There's a lot to love about the UK, and a lot to dislike, you really need to try it and see how it feels.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>orangefoot</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14694558"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">ankh ~ I have a teenager and he is OK! He has got to 16 with out many incidents of concern, certainly nothing really rally awful imo anyway.<br><br>
Raising teens anywhere is a worry when you are looking at it fearfully from a toddler or pre-teen age. You grow into being a parent of a teen just as they grow into being a teen - it isn't a sudden change so you do your best to keep alongside them and keep talking.<br><br>
In terms of dangers, I think that modern societies everywhere have their challenges for teens and if you can keep your home and your family a safe and secure place for them the madness outside can be escaped by coming home. Sometimes that is all you can do but it is valuable.</div>
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Very true! Well put. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
I was rushing a bit earlier, I should have said that what we can offer them in Canada (Due to where dh's family are) would be a life of skiing/hiking/biking, lots of outdoor activities and to be honest, a better family environment. There are many pluses for us being there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br>
The UK is a great place, the history, art and music are fantastic. And whatever anyone says about the NHS, I've always had very good experiences with them. I know we are making the most of being here.
 

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OP - U sound very fussy 2 me.<br>
Most the things U feel passionate about would never b issues 4 me.<br>
U would not like the UK, the Nanny State is very strong here.<br>
U are not going 2 b happy living in most of Europe.<br><br>
I suggest somewhere like Alaska, Iceland, rural Arizona, rural Australia, Outer Hebrides if U do want 2 try the UK -- these places might b close 2 what U want.<br><br>
NB: I grew up in California but have lived in UK 18 yrs.
 

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I would chop off my right leg to move back to the UK, Az doesnt suit me AT ALL.<br><br>
Having a baby here has made me realise how many decisions are pushed on you in this 'land of the free' things I wouldnt have even had to consider in the UK. I miss it more than I can express.
 

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I love it here but i've never lived anywhere else.<br><br>
I live in Derbyshire, moved from West Sussex 2 years ago. It seems much friendlier in the midlands rather than the south east. I moved to take advantge of the housing market and buy a cheaper house in a better area. We have a good home ed community, lots to do if you have a car. I'm hoping the laws do not change and if they do they only effect the people who are truely using home education as an excuse to neglect thier children. As for the sex education in schools, well you can excuse your child for the day and its up to the school to decide to take any action, I doubt they actually would.<br><br>
The main downsides would be the weather - grey, cold, wet a lot of the time. And the cost of living, food, housing, utilities are pretty expensive all over the country.<br><br>
What sort of work would you / your dh be looking for?
 

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Don't need to miss school for the day, you still have the legal right to refuse to allow your child to take part in a sex ed lesson. Unless you're planning on teaching abstinence only, though, I can't see a good reason to do that.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Anumaria</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14691654"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ok, please ignore me if this is too much! (I had a thread asking about Scotland, then about where in the UK to move....)<br><br>
I am feeling a bit torn about this tonight.... And TBH, I just don't know enough about living in the UK to make the decision to take our lives there. And, yet, it does seem like the best option for us.<br><br>
I would love to hear your opinions about what is great and not so great there.<br><br>
We got married in the USA and spent 2 years there. To us, it is a country with a huge amount of both plusses and minuses, too many to list, really. We see more minuses than plusses, though, so at the moment it is not an option for us.<br><br>
For the past 4 years we have lived in Northern Europe. There are some amazing things (social security systems that really supports families, free universities, etc.) BUT, to generalize, the people don't talk to anyone they have not known for 10 years and are bitter and half asleep for half of the year. There is also a strong feeling of "truth", what everyone needs to think, and that this is the most developed place in the world, meaning one should not question anything. I also don't know any child past 3 here that is not in daycare, which makes it hard for our 4-year-old daughter to find friends. We just don't fit the mold here, at all, and it is a place that does not accept being different very well at all...<br><br>
The UK has a ton of home schoolers and lots of people who share our faith. On the other hand, it is the leading Western European nation in teenage pregnancies, there seem to be plenty of drug problems, etc. I am just afraid of moving and discovering that our new home is much worse than either of our old homes... Also the possible new legistlation for home schooling (and abut sex ed in schools, thanks very much, it is MY responsibility to teach my child those things!) scare me.<br><br>
We do not at all expect the majority to be like-minded. We just want to find our little part of the world, where we can make enough friends and otherwise be left alone to live the way we feel is right for us. As long as people are friendly, it is enough...<br><br>
Thanks to anyone who read all the way to the end. What do you like about the UK (or your particular area) and what do you dislike? If you were in my shoes, would you move there?</div>
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Do you live in Norway by any chance?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
No, not Norway.<br><br>
Thanks everyone. DH was asked to go to an interview, so this is looking even more like a real possibility. Yet, we are not very close to being sure it is for us.... We will see...
 

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I think you need to come see for yourself, try out the British way of life and see if it would fit you. Can you and your DD come with your DH when he goes to interview?
 

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I'm a South African living in the UK and I love it. I would never live anywhere else but here.<br><br>
The thing is there will always be something about a country that irks you but the key is to decide if it is a deal breaker. You will never find the perfect country that has all your (or anyone's) perfect requirements.<br><br>
I agree with one of the pp's who said 'pick your spot'!! That is so important. We lived in Bristol for 6 years and I hated it. It really wasn't my kind of place. But the moment we moved to Wales everything changed. I love it here, it is amazing. At first we lived in a not so great area but I still loved it because the people were so open and friendly. I haven't met a single AP person since I've moved here but no-one has raised even an eyelid when I nurse in public, or I tell them we HE, or we co-sleep or any of that other peculiar stuff we do.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> They are just friendly and caring and wonderful here.<br><br>
We recently moved to a better part of town and the place has gotten even better. The lifestyle is amazing. My kids spend every day on th beach, we go for walks/hikes, have picnic's outdoors all the time and even when the weather is awful we still have a million places to go to that are indoors.<br><br>
Honestly I couldn't think of a better place to raise my children.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks, Whispers. That gives me hope!<br><br>
Rationally thinking, this seems like a great opportunity for us. I just tend to take things too far in my mind. (Is this where I would like dd to raise her children, is this where I would like to be when I am old, that sort of thing.)<br><br>
It looks as if at least dh will visit in January. If possible, we will all go and make a 5 day trip out of it. That way we will be able to make the decision together, and even dd will have a say. (Well, she says YES! because she saw that there is a cool cafe in town.... and a group of home schoolers nearby, who go swimming together.) I suppose I need be more child-like, and the decision making will be easy... ha ha.
 

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We are thinking of making a move to Europe (husband is German) and as I am a Latin teacher, the UK is a distinct possibility, so .... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/notes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="notes"><br>
However, I am concerned with the cost of living. We live in an area of the US that has a VERY low COL and I am concerned about trying to afford a house on a one or two teacher salary.
 

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we are moving the family to Scotland and I am concerned about the cost of living! Maybe those who live there would be so kind as to give us an idea of what is needed to live on. We will be a one income family and I think we are going to have a pretty simple lifestyle based on the income we are going to have! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> But I would still not hesitate to move though!!!
 

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We will be visiting Cambridge early spring, and I will let you know what impression I got<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
It is becoming more and more of a reality that we will be moving there, and now I am exited about going to have a look. Cambridge sounds lovely - or any of the small market towns/villages around.
 
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