[greensmile]

The other day I saw a just walking toddler girl at the park wearing a t-shirt that grazed her behind and tights turned into leggings and nothing on her bottom. I assumed the parents were using EC. However there also was a guy without a kiddo who gave me the creeps watching her every move. The parents seemed oblivious. Since I really enjoyed seeing my five sons in (frequently changed cloth) diapers this was never an issue for me when they were that young, but I'd like to hear feedback on what people do and feel is appropriate. I wondered if it would have been appropriate to say anything but wanted to respect their choices.

 

[tash11]

I prolly would have pointed out the 'creepy' guy to them but not said anything about thier choice specificly. some really creepy guys will watch like that with or without her being covered so that could have been a non-issue.

 

[eirual]

Hmmm...depends a lot on the situation for me. I often have my guy naked from the waist down, but he's usually in a sling or other carrier....I don't like having him naked when he's on his own crawling or whatever in public...at home he's naked unless it's too chilly. Although, I have had him naked at the beach and at my cottage...A lot depends on the situation for me.

In that situation I think things sound fine, aside from the creepy guy- but the pp's right, a creep can be just as creepy even when a child's clothed.

 

[Tori Gollihugh]

I would totally have said something to the parents if for no other reason than to convey my concern about the creepy dude watchin their little girl! I would want to know... though I WOULD NEVER do what those parents did!!! I have a strong consciousness of the reality of child molestation and in particular of the sexual abuse meeted out to little girls (one in 3 young women (I think my age 18) will have been sexually abused in one way or another). Anyway... I'm VERY guarded about my daughter and I believe it's THE best way to be. OF course, that's MY opinion, not everyone's.

I LOVE to see my little girl prancing all nakie butt around our house. I think she's ADORABLE!!! However, if someone comes over (other than my Mom) she's immediately put in panties and a shirt - at LEAST, but more often completely dressed in some way shape or form. It's so important to teach modesty because the world will teach to be otherwise attired.

JMHO

 

[greensmile]

I have a radar antenna out for pervs as I was molested myself on multiple occasions. I just know that look. I once had a guy licking his lips at me while I breastfed my son on the bus! It seems to me that people getting off on your kid even if the kid may not fully understand what is happening can have a negative impact on their psyche. They are so sensitive to people's vibes. My child often would shy away from people I thought they shouldn't and later realize they were on to something. I would hate for a girl to get used to being viewed in that way even if she never got assaulted (molesting is always sexual assault- not "bad touch" or anything fluffy like that- we need to use the accurate words to avoid minimizing the damage). Even boys are vulnerable. I used to let my oldest son go naked until a friend reminded me that not everyone sees children they way we do. (Some men get strong sexual feelings while viewing little people.) I think I probably should have said that he was making me uncomfortable to the parents. They were playing guitar and singing, which was quite nice but they just didn't notice.

 

[LittlePeanut]

Yikes! I feels so naive for never having thought of that. My little guy is naked 95% of the day while at home and even when we wonder outside and chat with neighbours. It never dawned on me that there are sickos like that out there.

We try to use the bathroom whenever possible while we're out. When ECing in public (which I have done on ocassion) I do try to be discreet about it and hide his necessary parts. I will however be even more cautious about it in the future.

Thanks for alerting me to this. BTW I would totally have said something to the parents - bottomless child or fully clothed - It's down right creepy!

LP

 

[bdavis337]

When he was willing to ec in public places, i tried to be as discreet as possible, only b/c it seemed to promote privacy and he did better with that. I will still take him to the playground in just cloth diaper and t-shirt, but he's only 14 months, so that's still ok. At home, he's often naked on our fenced-in patio area, and diaper only if we go into the shared common area backyard we have in our townhome neighborhood.

 

[greensmile]

My sons also went naked at home as toddlers and were done with diapers relatively early. I did want to say that it is important for us to recognize that no matter what a woman, child or man is wearing or not wearing that never excuses sexual assault! So thank you posters who pointed that out.

 

[krisbeany]

I use split crotch pants on my baby but, I always make sure he is covered. My pants overlapp so, there is no peek-a-boo unless he squats. I always bring a diaper or blanket to put on the cart seat for cleanliness and if a accident might happen.

 

[Kokopelli-mana]

Greensmile I'm really sorry to hear about your assaults.
My ds is nakey at home 99% of the time, including in the yard and chatting with neighbors as well, but I am very conscious of the sick minds of others, so he's always covered when out. We pee him in restrooms or in or next to the car, or by a bush, so he's rarely nakey in public. I agree with the previous posters, we have to be super-sensitive about anyone having unsupervised access to our little ones, whether they are clothed or not. It's such a sad reality but one that we can't be naive about.

 

[crunchymama2two]

I potty my DD before leaving the car and as soon as we return to the car. If she needs to potty while we are out I take her to the public restroom. We use diaper backup (prefolds) most of the time anyway so she's not nakey outside the house.

 

[HotMama]

FWIW - My four year old daughter runs around naked lots during the summer...we all swim nude, and while we put on clothes afterwards (dh and I), she doesn't always. At her fourth birthday party, there were a bunch of nude kiddos running around the yard. I understand very well the dangers of molestation, but I do not want my daughters growing up afraid of their bodies...I want them to feel all the power their bodies have.

I have made it clear that you either wear undies to the store, or keep your dress down! (it's a pretty rare occurence to walk to the corner store without undies, but it has happened) We talk about no meaning no, why we can go nude some places and not others, etc. Mainly we chat about cultural differences, because she has noticed a difference in folks response to nudity, mostly through dh and I's responses to things. France, festivals etc. are places where people are more comfortable with their bodies and nudity, while my sister's suburb in Southern Cal. is not. All this "modesty" from our Puritan culture in the US is why so few women are comfortable nursing in public.

I'd mention the creep, then just move on. If he hung out all the time, I'd get more pushy...maybe keep talking to the guy, which would likely scare off a creep. We have a nearby, closeknit community park. I have also been talking with dd1 about trusting her intuition when she doesn't like someone. This has come up a few times for her (big kids wanting her to do something they would get in trouble for), and I share my thinking with her when it comes up for me...editted, of course. Read Protecting the Gift by Gavin DeBecker if you really want to know how to help protect your children.

 

[CJ 5]

Wow I guess that I was never "that EC" I usually just put her in clothes and kept an eye out for potty time. As for saying something to the parents. I am the kind of person that strikes up a conversation with anyone in a sling etc so I would have naturally talked to them. I might have pointed out the kreepy guy I am not sure it would have just been something I might have brought up if I was comfortable talking to them.