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I don't dislike people for whom all is well. I do get a bit grouchy and resentful with people who seem smug or arrogant about it. There's a BIG difference, IMHO.<br><br>
In your situation, I would say that whether your reassurance would help or not would totally depend on the individuals. Aren't I helpful? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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Lately I've found myself getting very jealous of those who have good things going for them. A lot of people I know have had things handed to them (homes, education, jobs, relationships). I have to try so hard to get to a better station in life. I'm not angry at them, just forlorn that I don't have it. But, I'm working towards bettering my life.
 

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I've never met anybody whose life seemed perfect, so I have no idea how I'd react. I'm not really sure what a life that "seemed perfect" would look like. I think mine is pretty darned close, but I'm not sure others would think so.
 

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I use to be growing up. I was sooooo jealous and resentful of those kids that came from good homes, was able to dress nice, did well in sports, got good greads etc.<br><br>
Now I am really happy in my life, I don't feel that way about anyone. No one's life is really perfect. I have what I have and I am truly happy, I wouldn't trade what I have for the world.
 

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I think your wording is perfect SEEMS, they are many that outside looking in everything is wonderful but it's far from for those living it.
 

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I'll admit I'm jealous of my brother, as he's financially secure and they own a house and their (meaning DB, SIL, and my neice and nephew) lives seem perfect. I'm also angry and sad that they seem to not want much to do with me and my kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
With strangers or aquantances, I don't think much about their financial situations- they could be in debt up to their eyeballs for all I know.
 

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Sometimes I have those moments where someone seems like a more together, calmer, more perfect mother and I get a strange combo of feeling in awe, and/or jealous. I don't dislike them -- I just sort of look at them and say, Is she really this perfect? Is it really this easy? Does she ever lose it? e.g. I recently saw a mom with 2 older boys, 2 preschool age girls, and a baby ... all well behaved, quiet, cute, and she was totally nice and with-it and seemed to have the perfect life...Meanwhile, I "only" have 2 children and half the time feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water....On second thought, YES! I hate her!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>conflictedmama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7987106"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sometimes I have those moments where someone seems like a more together, calmer, more perfect mother and I get a strange combo of feeling in awe, and/or jealous. I don't dislike them -- I just sort of look at them and say, Is she really this perfect? Is it really this easy? Does she ever lose it? e.g. I recently saw a mom with 2 older boys, 2 preschool age girls, and a baby ... all well behaved, quiet, cute, and she was totally nice and with-it and seemed to have the perfect life...Meanwhile, I "only" have 2 children and half the time feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water....On second thought, YES! I hate her!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"></div>
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Ohhh, yes. I've felt that way, too, many times! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Only if they're smug about it and take credit for their life being perfect (instead of admitting that some of it is luck).
 

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Na, nobody's life is perfect. I am very happy in my own life, but it's not perfect, although I know that many people around me think it is. I would hate for them to be jealous of my life. I mean, I don't have any problems that are serious, just normal insecurities with responsible parenting, being a wife and being a grown up in general.<br><br>
I'm not jealous of anyone and never have had that problem. I guess I'm really lucky there. When I see someone who seems more together than me, I tell myself that they're real people, just like me and I try to figure out what I admire about them so that I can try to bring it into my life.<br><br>
Lisa
 

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I really do believe in that saying "compare and despair"-there are people who<br>
"have" more than I do, just as there are people who don't "have" what I have.<br>
I have what the universe intends me to have at this stage in my life and I'm thankful for it. I've gone through a lot to attract what I do have, so whenever I feel that twinge of jealousy I try to remember it's not up to me to determine what people are given from the universe, and I don't know how far they've walked to get where they are. Yes, there are people who are very priveleged and everything seems to come to them easily-but I don't know their lives behind doors and what lessons and hardships they may have endured or have ahead of them. I always remember an older gentleman I know-you would look at him and think he had everything-wealth, success, nice home, ability to travel, published writer, etc.-yet in his past he lost his only son in a climbing accident, his first wife to lymphoma shortly after that, and his second wife to suicide several years after that.
 

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Im jealous (sort of- I cnat really explain it) of my brother. He is a cocky, self centered individual yet things just seem to fall into place for him-always. He has a very good job (in MI) where no one can find a good job. He still lives at home (he's 24) my mom does his laundry fixes all his meals does absolutely everything for him - more than I do for my 8 year old! I swear! He pays no rent, so hes saving upwards of 80,000/ year. I have three kids Ive been married and on my own for 8 years. I love my life but sometimes it pisses me off that he gets all the breaks!! I wouldn't trade my life for his ever ever, but sometimes I get down thinking about how different our situations are. Im glad to know Im not hte only one
 

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It doesn't bother me when others are doing well, because for the most part, I'm very happy with my life.<br>
What DOES bother me is when people shove it in your face and are ostentacious.<br>
My neighbor for instance.<br>
3 years ago he opened his own company. Last year he was in the 40 under 40.<br>
Just on Thursday, I got an e-mail from his wife (my friend) AND another from him telling us that his company has 1500 percent growth this year and is the #1 company in the city.<br>
GREAT!! But I really feel like he is tooting his own horn. He should feel very proud, but if you knew this guy.<br><br>
Last week he told me that he was on a new low carb diet and was really getting results.<br>
Then 3 hours later, his wife told me (while we were planning a collective dinner and he said he couldn't eats carbs)<br>
WHAT?? You've been on the diet since last night!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
He's FULL of BS. I'm always catching him in lies.<br>
And he flaunts the new this and that. Well, good for you, I don't care.<br>
My house is paid in full so PTTHHHHT!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pookel</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7987121"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Only if they're smug about it and take credit for their life being perfect (instead of admitting that some of it is luck).</div>
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Yeah, and really, nobody's life remains perfect forever. Anyone might have a few golden years, but stuff happens. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I've got a friend who always seems to have it totally "together"-- immaculate house, brilliant, gorgeous daughter, her husband just got promoted over mine, successful home biz, etc.... but I know her well enough to know she's got her own private sorrows and unfulfilled wishes.
 

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I'm jealous of Maple Leaf Mama for having a paid-in-full house!!!<br><br>
NOTE: I do not dislike MLM......I envy!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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Why would I dislike someone because they have a seemingly perfect life? Jealousy? That's petty and immature. Nobody's life is perfect.<br><br>
I like my life, for the most part. I have 3 healthy, [mostly] happy children, a roof over my head, food to eat, a car, I'm working on a degree, and I'm fairly happy and healthy. That's all I need right now. Would I like to have more money? Sure, who wouldn't? Would I like to have a nicer home? Yeah, that's why I'm going to college--to get a degree so I can hopefully get a decent job and make enough money to buy a better house. If for some reason that doesn't work out, I'll deal.<br><br>
Some people (mainly DH's family) are jealous of us and I honestly don't understand why. We're low income but they think we're rich. Meanwhile, they blow whatever money they get, when they bother to work, on alcohol or drugs. They don't even bother with trying to better themselves because they think everything should be handed to them.<br><br>
I believe in Karma. I do my best to do the right thing and help other people, and in return, my life ends up a little bit easier. Be a lazy ass loser like my ILs and your life's going to suck. Sometimes things may seem a little backward and the wrong people end up getting screwed over, but eventually things even out. Example: DH and I both lost our jobs last year within a month of each other. I was pregnant and couldn't find another job and DH had trouble finding work for awhile. I was upset about it briefly, then decided that I wouldn't let the situation drag me down. We made do with unemployment until DH found a job, albeit lower-paying, and I decided to be a SAHM/student for now. We're much happier than we were before even though we have less money. Everything happens for a reason--it just make take awhile for that reason to become clear.
 

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I am one of those people that I feel like you are talking about. I am on boards where people are constantly complaining about their kids, their husband, their debt, their state of life in general. Maybe people don't look at me and think my life is "perfect" (really, whose life is?) but I am very happy and VERY thankful for what I have.<br><br>
It is almost like you don't want to talk about what you have, because it does feel like bragging, even though it is more of a grateful awe of things that have worked out for you. I came from a bad childhood, dysfunctional family, poor, alcoholic, mentally ill, debt ridden household... I made some mistakes along the way (hello first marriage <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">) but due to quite a bit of luck and a good bit of planning I am now with a WONDERFUL husband and father, nice house, no bad debt, fantastic daughter and another on the way, two cars and all of that. I realize that shit happens, and that shit can (and probably will) happen to us in the future. But I love my life and I am scared to say it because of what people might think/feel/say.
 

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