[allismom]

Do you ever just wish the choices we make for our children would not be so much effort and such a weight on your mind?
Many of us make well informed choices such as which toys to play with (or not), which TV shows to watch, or none at all, which foods to avoid, when to start foods, etc

As I meet more and more women through my moms club, I just feel like I am such a minority. I feel like I am the ONLY mother worried about how much TV dd watches, what she eats, etc. It really is an effort and I do it becasue I feel it is best for her overall health and well being.

But now and then it would just be nice to go somewhere and not have to 'pre-approve' everything she eats or ask to see the lable of ingredients when somebody offers her a snack, etc. I wish I could just be a little less uptight I guess.

Just wondering if anybody else ever feels this way? Or maybe the question to ask is, don't you wish more of the world thought like us?

 

[strawberryprincess]

I hear you Mommy!

i don't consider myself as uptight as some other's i know, although i do respect and admire their choices. but i still run into this kind of thing often. my mother, who is very (mostly) supportive of the choices i've made, and she herself "preaches" to everyone who will listen about the importance of good/natural nutrition. even so, whenever we're at her house she insists on feeding dd pudding, ice cream or other trash. and when i decline, she gets all huffy that i'm being over-protective or something. and it's her job to spoil the grandkids. i reply that it's my job to see that she eats healthful. it's very exasperating.

and i find it ironic when mothers get so upset about things that don't really concern me. a women i know does not want her son to wear shorts, even in the humid 90 degree weather we've been having lately, cuz he might fall down and skin his knee. ! isn't that supposed to happen to kids. i still have scars on my knees! anyway, i understand where she's coming from, wanting to protect your child from every harm, but they'll never learn important lessons like how to stay on a bike if you never let them ride.

sorry i'm rambling. but keep making the choices that you know are best for your child, even when it's not popular.

 

[Rainbowbird]

I do find I have toned it down a bit since DD was born last month though. I simply had to for my sanity. DS watches a little more TV than usual, but it's always PBS. He eats ice cream sometimes, but it's the kind without additives (Breyer's). He still eats a lot of fruit...I always put sunscreen on him...I try to give him as much one on one as possible. ....the list of things I try to do right is long but somehow even if I give in a little and do something I feel I shouldn't then I feel like a rotten parent!

But there are days when I think, geez, he watched twice as much TV today as usual, and I gave him ice cream for dessert, and he was totally fussy so I let him watch a Thomas DVD too...and then I feel massively guilty. The fact is I just can't get him out of the house to all his usual playgroups etc. lately with a newborn and so I cope however best I can.

It's totally tiring to think this way all the time. I just try to remember that USUALLY I am doing what I think is right and stick with the good habits.

 

[Danielsmom]

I agree! I do feel like the minority. And I do wish I didn't have so much information or think so much about parenting choices. I know that sounds disingenuous but that's how I feel. TMI sometimes! I really enjoy being a mom, but sometimes the amount of choices gets wearing. I'm grappling with some similar, some different decisions than you are, but still...

The first year of ds's life, I felt that so much of what I did with him was AP instinct...cosleeping, bf'ing, carrying him a lot. Trying to keep solids as natural as possible. And I felt really confident with my job as a mom.

As he gets more independent (he's now two), the decisions get more complex....how much TV is too much (he really only watches PBS or videos and very little of either)? Should I continue nursing him? Should we continue cosleeping? I'm trying to consider both his needs and mine. I'm older (40) and man have I been tired lately. Right now I'm wondering if I should wean him. I keep losing weight and I can't tell if it's bfing or just a shift in my metabolism. Any thoughts are appreciated...I may take this to the extended breastfeeding board.

I really am trying to raise ds with gentle discipline and not force a lot of societal rules on a two year old. Then I wonder if I am "spoiling" him. :LOL God forbid.

The ice cream posts made me smile. Whenever we go over mil's house, she is always offering him junk...ice cream, whipped cream out of those squirt bottles. I figure it's not too harmful because he doesn't get a lot of stuff like htat at home. But it's isolating and frustrating for me to feel like a voice in the wilderness. A lot of the moms in my playgroup drink soda...I haven't touched the stuff in years. A lot of people don't get that we really are what we eat.
As for TV watching, I am the ONLY ONE on my or dh's side who is actively trying to limit TV watching. Maybe our choices are such a weight on our minds because we are the minority.

 

[jaam]

Glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. If dh sees me agonizing over some decision for our dd, he gets confused and asks me why I don't just go with whatever is easiest for me.

: This infuriates me, because he is of the mindset that children are "just something that happens to you" and life shouldn't be any less convenient for the parents than it was pre-kids. But I digress.... this is an issue for our therapist.

: :LOL

But I totally understand, it's frustrating to think that soem parents might *know* better but won't *do* better for their kid(s) unless it's easy for them.

 

[captain optimism]

Only the decisions that I'm sweating make me feel like I wish things were different. Food and TV aren't in there. I feel good about what we give ds to eat, generally pretty relaxed about what other people in our lives are going to offer him. We don't have a TV in our house, so I can afford to be easy-going about him seeing TV in other folks' houses. (Also a lot of our friends don't have televisions.)

The things I sweat are vaccinations, offering Tylenol, TTC a sibling, toilet training, weaning. All the stuff that people here have strong opinions about!