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We work nearly opposite shifts. I work/go to school 9-5ish with a long commute Monday-Saturday, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I have work/school until 8-9pm, DH works/goes to school 8am-11pm Wednesday through Saturday.

We never see each other and it makes it almost frustrating when we do...like I am so used to being home alone with DS in the evenings that when I'm home with DS and DH I end up just getting frustrated with our routine getting all mixed up. I try to be loving towards him but, I don't feel it all (I think because I'm tired and we just don't have time together) and our sex life is horrible because I'm asleep before he comes home and he is still asleep when I leave.

Ugh...just so tired of this....wondering if anyone can relate.
 

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Ahhh, yes. I see my DH so rarely, that I refer to myself as a single SAH mom of three. Mostly, I feel sorry for myself, for having to bend over a bathtub and give a 4 and 2 y.o. baths every night while 10 months pregnant, or never having someone to share in discipline, or that I have to wipe bottoms while trying to keep a nursing newborn attached, and not having anyone to take over when I'm exhausted.

My DH is a chiropractic med student, and also works almost every spare minute he has. His 3 or 4 am shifts at work force him to bed by 9 every night, as soon as he's arrived home from serving his internship in the clinic. The kids never see him, and I just see him sleep.

In the rare instance that we do have him home for half a Sunday, I find myself feeling the same way you do. I get irritated because he's interfering with my schedule, helping the kids destroy the house, or just getting in my way. The sex only happens if I wake him up while getting into bed, and he's asleep again 7 minutes later.


I can handle it though, because I know that we are both making sacrifices now to keep me at home with the kids, and to put him through school so we can provide a better life later on. One more year of school, and we'll be able to visit Daddy at the office frequently, and have him home for dinner and weekends.

Since you are both in school, i assume the same is true for you. Look forward to the end, when you'll have more control over your schedules and not have to be so busy. Adhering to a "date night a month," even if it's just a quick dinner, helps alot....but then you have to find a babysitter, and I get so uncomfortable leaving mine with a sitter for some reason. But, occasionally, my marriage demands it.

Hang in there! I know how you feel!
 

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Do i ever see dh?

Nope.
We are both in school full time, we go opposite of each other so we don't need daycare. He works at nights two nights a week and then all day saturday and sunday, plus plays pool one night a week, and i have a late lab class the other night. Literally, there is one night a week we have together, and often times its when we have to run errands or something. It is hard.

I can't wait up for him on nights he works because i have to get up at six for class, and he can't get up early because he works late and needs to sleep sometime.

We keep reminding ourselves it is temporary and try and joke as much as possible. We were just laughing the other day about figuring out a day to watch a movie we received from netflix together. I kept suggesting a day, and he would have something to do, we ended up agreeing to watch it sometime in May, after school is over for the semester


No real advice, just a lot of sympathy and
s.
 

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My sympathy to all of you mamas! It does get better!

We were in this boat on and off for the 3 years I was in school, and then for the first 6 months after I graduated I was working FT nights and he was working FT days. Sometimes we went 36 or 48 hrs without seeing each other at all, if he was working overtime. It was horrible at the time, but we accomplished our goal of paying off credit card debts around the time that I hit my breaking point, and I gladly quit that job.

Now I have switched to a PT job, hardly ever work opposite shifts anymore, and it has been soooo nice feeling like a normal family again, actually hanging out in the evenings again. It was really rough at the time being apart so much, but I think it has made us appreciate each other more now that we see each and get to hang out together again.
 

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We used to work opposite shifts and dh went to school at the same time. He was exhausted, I was doing absolutely everything. It was very hard. Years ago, he worked away from home and was home one night and part of one day. That was just as hard, we had our thing going and then he'd come home and it did seem like he disrupted what ds and I were doing.

But we survived it. It was extremely hard for us, but now we work basically the same hours and spend most evenings together unless he has school. He's much less tired, so less cranky, and I'm not feeling like I'm doing everything.
 
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