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Do you experience periods of doubt?

542 Views 19 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  poisonedapple
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I go from being confident this is the best choice for us.....to wondering if Im insane.
Right now Im sitting here thinking "WHAT am I THINKING?" We have an awesome curriculum that will suit my ds well....the accountability I need...but Im wondering if I can REALLY do this? Can I take on the role of teacher...and not share that responsibility...as well as mom? I have been home, with my dc for 6 yrs, non-stop. We have hs preschool, my dh works 12+ hrs a day, and has for the past 5yrs. I think the full impact of this responsibility just hit me like a brick.
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You can do it. HS is a great time committment, but it looks like you've already made that committment. Just relax and let it go. You'll be fine.
The only doubts I ever have are whether it's going to be possible because I might have no choice but to work. I have no doubts about wanting to hs, it being the best choice for us, or my capabilities. Just about money and time, a little.
I am gearing up for my 4th year of homeschool and yes, sometimes I still have periods of doubt. But, what I have always found is when I start questioning myself, I start hanging out and reading more here and at other homeschool sites and it reinforces my decision. Remember you also need a break at times, make sure you set aside some time for yourself, no kids.
Oh, goodness gracious, of course I do! This will be my twelfth year coming up and I already have one homeschool graduate (17yo with about a year's worth of college credits) and tons of doubts just like I always have about new situations as well as the same ones that have always made me feel insecure.

ds has many friends in the public school system. I am close enough to them to see the problems they have to deal with there. I can see quite easily that there are no kindly, all-knowing and all-wise experts willing to lift the burden from me and give ds everything he needs to become some character from a Horatio Alger novel, so I don't really have any choice about shirking my responsibility and I go on one step at a time doing the best I can and not beating myself up over time and money constraints and other factors I don't have any control over.

You sound very normal and very prepared and very much like somebody who will do just fine.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Alana
I go from being confident this is the best choice for us.....to wondering if Im insane.
Right now Im sitting here thinking "WHAT am I THINKING?" We have an awesome curriculum that will suit my ds well....the accountability I need...but Im wondering if I can REALLY do this? Can I take on the role of teacher...and not share that responsibility...as well as mom? I have been home, with my dc for 6 yrs, non-stop. We have hs preschool, my dh works 12+ hrs a day, and has for the past 5yrs. I think the full impact of this responsibility just hit me like a brick.

This exact same thing happened to me about a month ago when ds's preschool ended. I mean, our attendance was spotty at best, but somehow being offiicially cut loose sent me into a tailspin. I was in the "What was I thinking, I have made huge mistake" panic mode for about a week. I believe I even posted about it here.

I picked up all my hs'ing books and started reading them again. I ordered some hs'ing magazines. I whined to my hs'ing friends about my doubts. I started going to hs'ing park day. And I started being conscious of what ds starting school would really mean - the last day he would have spent with us on Tuesdays when my mom comes into the city and we have a fancy lunch (he loves this), the trip to Calistoga we wouldn't be able to take because he would be in school, realizing that that our uncrowded Wednesday afternoons at the beach with a friend would be over. I also reminded myself that if he was starting school I would still be panicked, but just with different details.

I'm over the panic, and so happy he's not starting school, but still about once a week I have a "What, am I insane? What makes me think I can do this?!?!" moment.
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Everyone has periods of doubt! You 'd have them if you sent you kids to school as well.

A friend of mine says that she goes and tours a school whenever she's doubting her decision to hs and that cures her everytime!
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alana
Right now Im sitting here thinking "WHAT am I THINKING?"
I sure can relate to your post.

Let's see, my oldest is nine and has never been to school and at least once a year, I go through about a week of panic.

I usually do something about it. I read my unschooling sites. Also my good books on home and unschooling. I talk to my friends here and in my town. I talk with schooled friends and by the time the week is over, I am back to YES! Without a doubt, this is the right decision for our family.

I think the unschooling conference next month might last me a few years without the once a year panic attacks.

It's no fun going through them but I think it can't be a bad thing to check in with myself and the kids to make sure we are still enjoying each-other while we live and learn.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Missy
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I love, love, love this! This is the kind of stuff I'm looking for as a beginning homeschooler. Because on the days when my two year old is screaming in between every word as I'm trying to explain something to my 4.5 year old and the days when I walk into my den and walk back out because I can't even bear to look at the mess---these are the days I wonder how I'm going to make it being together with them all the time. Thank you so much for letting me know I"m not alone.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravin
The only doubts I ever have are whether it's going to be possible because I might have no choice but to work. I have no doubts about wanting to hs, it being the best choice for us, or my capabilities. Just about money and time, a little.
I work part-full time depending on what I am scheduled each week. My DH works full time, just opposite shifts from me so that we don't need to rely on babysitters, "care centers" or anyone else but us.

I am going to be officially homeschooling as soon as the school year starts (since that is when DS will be "officially" un-enrolled) but have actually been homeschooling my youngest since around her third birthday and have been doing some relaxed, interest-led lessons with my DS since the beginning of summer.

I believe that if you are committed to homeschooling and have a good support sytstem, that its possible to follow regardless of career, staying at home, single, schooling yourself, etc.
And yep, I doubt myself everytime that we have a bad day here.
I am guessing that that's normal since I am just starting out and don't have the confidence that I need yet. But....even without confidence in success, I KNOW that I am making the right choice and in the long run, I know that that will help.
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Yup. Usually at least once a year I freak out and think I'm a total homeschooling failure. It's not a totally bad thing, it makes me look at what we are doing and tweak as necessary. But then, every once in a while there will a moment where I KNOW we are doing the right thing. It all balances out.
I wasn't very confident at first, I was scared my dds would never learn how to read for instance. Of course she can read, reading isn't that hard to learn.

Now after 4 years of hs'ing there really are not any doubts.
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravin
The only doubts I ever have are whether it's going to be possible because I might have no choice but to work. I have no doubts about wanting to hs, it being the best choice for us, or my capabilities. Just about money and time, a little.
I am a full time nursing student (which is a ft job) and also work part time and we homeschool. My husband works full time and is also a full time student himself. You don't have to be a SAHM to homeschool! I know plently of hs'ing moms who work, especially part time, it isn't as rare as you may think. Heck I think I would go NUTS if I didn't have that time for myself!
Quote:

Originally Posted by my3monkees
I am gearing up for my 4th year of homeschool and yes, sometimes I still have periods of doubt. But, what I have always found is when I start questioning myself, I start hanging out and reading more here and at other homeschool sites and it reinforces my decision. Remember you also need a break at times, make sure you set aside some time for yourself, no kids.
Yep!!

When having doubts....seek support!! Reaffirm your beliefs!!!
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Of course not
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Realistically,you wouldn't be human if you didn't have some doubts.I can honestly say (17 yrs into this journey) while I know hs has been great for my kids it's been incredible for me.I've learned more,researched more,and explored more,different and varied topics with and without my kids than I ever would have if I'd just let "someone else teach em"Heck.I'd probably be veggin out watching the soaps and worried about which box of hamburger helper to open.
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Alana... I started homeschooling in april this year. Its been the most crazy 4 months in my life as far as doubt. I eloped with a man I knew for a few weeks and I never experienced doubts about that like I have done with educating my kids myself. I have the lives of these kids in my hands! Man that is a responsibility. But it would be my responsibility anyway. I would be passing that responsiblity on to someone else, the government if I kept them in school. I had moments of total doubt especially with the different personality traits of my three kids. I began wondering if Julie was better off in school because of how sociable she is naturally. But as I thought about it she is so much better off learning wise out of the 'social'ness of school. I had moments of some days where I had a high and thought I had made the best decision ever to a few hours later when I hit a low and thought 'OMGoodness, what have I done!!!' I think we have hit a plateau tho. I think we needed the time to deschool and get used to not being in school or doing 'school-like' things in order for me to see that my kids will learn without being in school. My ds who is five learned how to count in twos on his own. I never taught him. I taught him what a two pence peice was (british money) and he then just learned counting in twos. My Julie pretended not to know how to read and absolutely refused for months. She still refuses to read books outloud but I have 'caught' her reading and making sense of words and sentences here and there. And my other daughter has just come such a long way since we took her out of school. She had some social issues and did not do well in school at all. My ds Josh (5) says 'I just wanna play'. In school he would be in year 1!! He would have to sit at a desk and do more 'schoolwork' with homework and forced reading lessons and schemes this september... at the age of five!!! I dont have any regrets. Its been hard but its sooo worth it.
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I experience moments of hyperventilation.


I go from thinking "hey-I can do this" to "what if I have no idea what I'm doing?!"

Usually it's b/c someone (like my nosy-neighbor) is severely questioning my choice and brings me down.
: But, I'm getting better at protecting myself.
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I went through a phase this past winter wondering if I could do this, and do it well. We had a chance to sign DD up for private school, and as the opportunity passed, I felt this anxiety... did I really make a bad decision! But as I approach the spring, that should be starting Kindergarten, I feel content with the decision now.

I think its natural to have doubts, or concerns. It is a big decision, and you don't know everything. None of us do. Not even a low paid teacher, knows all the answers. Think of it as a time you can grown and learn together.
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