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I do and I don't like the feeling. I play with DS every day but I set a limit of 15 minutes each time. But feel guilty when the timer goes off and I stop to go make dinner or clean the kitchen or *whatever*<br><br>
Has this guilt of not playing with our Kids always been there for Mothers?<br><br>
My Mom never played with me as a child. And she felt not one bit of Guilt.<br><br>
Maybe it's a generational thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br><br>
I just hear this alot- Moms feeling guilty for not playing with their kids.<br><br>
And I do know there are Moms who love Kid's Play so they may not feel this way...
 

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I have no memories of my parents playing with me or my siblings. But by the time I was old enough to remember, I had several siblings so I guess they were exonerated from playing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> .<br><br>
The only time I feel guilty is when DS really wants my attention and I just can't give it for whatever reason. I also commit short amounts of time to playing with him, but usually I try to involve him in things I'm doing.<br><br>
Sometimes I wonder if he gets enough kid time, but he seems pretty happy, so I just try to roll with it.
 

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My parents NEVER played with me, and I have no siblings anywhere close in age, and I turned out better than "fine", if I do say so myself <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I do feel bad sometimes when I don't play with dd. I didn't take her out sledding today, and I felt like a jerk. But I did take her out yesterday, and I did let her stay home from school today because it was a holiday for me, so really she has nothing to complain about <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I think we all really, really need to cut ourselves some slack. What's the worst thing that's going to happen if we don't play with our kids? They're going to...think up all kinds of fantastic things on their own? I know that's what my dd does, and when I do play with her I seem to get in the way with my unimaginative grown up ideas.<br><br>
Leaving your kids to entertain themselves isn't even close to neglect. We all really need to chill the hell out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I feel guilty sometimes, but it drives me crazy to play with him sometimes. He has this huge plastic Thomas track with battery operated Thomas trains and all he wants me to do is 'sit down' and watch them! For forever. Or else I color with him (that I don't mind so much), or else he wants me to push him on his bike...and I really can't do that cuz I have to bend so far down. LOL<br><br>
I can't WAIT till summer so I can take him to the park!
 

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No guilt here. I feed them, change diapers, nurse two of them, homeschool them. If I don't want to play with toys I don't. Besides, they have siblings for that.
 

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I feel bad when dh doesn't play with ds. And it isnt a lot, so I guess that is why I do more with ds, to make up for it.<br><br><br>
It hurts my feelings when ds asks dh to play and he wont. So I step up.
 

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Yeah, I feel like I should play with him more. I feel like my parents played more with me than I do with him. I don't know if that's accurate, but they were very involved.
 

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I do not feel guilty but ive just done 13months of parenting alone while dh was in Iraq. So im more then happy for him to play with her or let her do free play. I do feel that maybe I should play with her a tad more but I don't feel guilty.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>phathui5</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7347156"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No guilt here. I feed them, change diapers, nurse two of them, homeschool them. If I don't want to play with toys I don't. Besides, they have siblings for that.</div>
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Park me here, except we're now (somewhat recently) done with diapers and bf. But yeah, I take care of them all day long and I homeschool them. They play with each other. And honestly, they play with much more creativity and free spirit than this adult can. They have so much fun together and it reinforces their self-motivation.<br><br>
ETA: This is not meant as judgment at all, but I always notice that people who actively play with their kids or feel guilt for not doing it have one child. Or they might have one child and a tiny baby. Once I had my second child and they got old enough to play together, our whole family dynamic changed. Again, it's not judgment; it's just an observation.
 

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Nope no guilt here. I play with him when I can so that doesn't make me feel guilty when I can't.
 

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I do...especially now with what is becoming a high-needs newborn in the house. It makes me sad to see DS1 having to play alone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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I have been thinking about this a lot lately--it seems like I know many moms who actively play with their kids most of the day. But, as LeftField pointed out, they are mostly moms of one, or their children are far apart in age. I have 4, all close in age, and they play together. Because there are several of them, I have lots of cleaning and cooking and all the associated things that keep me very busy, so when I do have a moment, I would much rather (usually) spend it reading, having a chat with a grown-up friend, etc., but I feel that that is the trade-off--my large family places lots of demands on my time, but they have each other to play with when I'm busy.<br><br>
I think it depends on the kids, too. Even when I just had one child, he was very independent and enjoyed playing alone. My middle two seem to want more play time with me, and I try to honor that.<br><br>
I think it's important to "be" with your child. We do lots together, and I am available to them, even if it's not always "playing".
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>wife&mommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7349181"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Nope no guilt here. I play with him when I can so that doesn't make me feel guilty when I can't.</div>
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Yep. Me too. And I agree with what everyone else said...my parent's didn't always play with me. We would do special things together (bike rides, going to the park, etc) but they would never sit down and play tea party with me and I don't resent them for that!<br><br>
I also think it's important for kids to know how to play by themselves. My kiddos have such great imaginations (not to brag) because they DO have to entertain themselves sometimes!<br><br>
Shannon
 

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nope. not one bit. have you read the continum concept? i don't agree with everything in it but it makes some good points about playing with children. My children are generally wecome to help out with whatever I am doing but playing is thier thing. I am generally a hinderance to creative play anyway. I love that my children can play by themselves and entertain themselves. I think we rob our children of this if it is never expectd of them. They also play really nicely and creatively. I have three homeschooled kids who are home all day and not allowed to play video games or on the computer or watch TV who are never bored.ths helped any second guessing I had about my parenting. at least in this respect <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I try to do things in a playful way , I give them plenty attention (playing does not equal attention), meet all thier needs but never feel obligated to entertain my children.
 

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I play with DS a lot, but not all day long, and I feel guilty about it. I just can't play 4 year old games for 14 hours straight, I don't know how anyone does it. I'm not sure why I feel the need to entertain him every hour of the day but I do. I need some time to myself or else I get stressed out. So I usually have DS play quietly or rest in his room for an hour each day while I take some time for myself.<br><br>
I don't remember my parents ever playing with me as a child, not once. I think that is why I feel so guilty for not always playing with DS, because I know how it feels.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Jilian</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7349920"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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I don't remember my parents ever playing with me as a child, not once. I think that is why I feel so guilty for not always playing with DS, because I know how it feels.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
DD does play by herself at times, but for the most part were doing something together, when were together. We usually try to do something extra "fun" once a week like go to CEC, the Zoo, or the Childrens Museum.
 

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Now that I think of it, my parents didn't play with us either. I have a sister who is 15 months younger than me, btw. My mother was a SAHM and I don't ever remember her playing with us. And (totally OT), she didn't work with us like many parents do today. It was classic 1970s parenting, I guess. She read to us a lot and she spoke to us, of course. She took us to the park and the zoo. But we were on our own in the entertainment department at home.<br><br>
The weird thing is that I have no misgivings about that. My sister and I played all the time. We had a toy-room in our cellar and we would play doll house for hours and hours. And if we got bored, we played with the kids on the block. I never wished that my mother would play with me. I think that, in many ways, it would feel like she was getting in our way. There's no way my Mom could come up with Darth Vader living in the doll house and being able to walk through walls, much to the chagrin of the mother doll. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I think the only thing I regret in this general area is that my mother didn't let me help her cook. I always wanted to help cook.<br><br>
There are obviously other variables at play. I think that birth spacing and/or access to other children is a pretty large variable. Perhaps personality is a variable too.<br><br>
Anyway, I feel sad for those of you who feel regret that your parents didn't actively play with you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> But I wanted to say that the same thing happened to me and it was exactly as I wanted it to be. So, it must be in the other variables.
 

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I almost never play with my kids. Well, 4 yo DS is the only one who is still really young enough to "play", like with blocks and stuff. I read to him, involve him in things that I'm doing (cooking, housework, etc.), and talk to him about his play, but I rarely, rarely get down and get involved in his block castles and cars and such.<br><br>
I don't think it's necessary for a good childhood to have parents who act as playmates.
 

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My mom never really played with us. She did projects with us, took us to do things, and we were always around while she did her stuff around the house. My dad played with us a lot (and didn't do crapola around the house, btw).<br><br>
I have an excellent, close relationship with my mom, so apparently her not playing with us was not a problem.<br><br>
I need to remember this myself, because I do feel guilty sometimes for not playing with the kids more. Dh plays with them a lot (and helps around the house!), but he actually enjoys it, while for me it is torture.
 
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