Do you miss our DDC and want to have a future place to keep in touch?

parsley · May 15, 2012

I miss our DDC! I loved coming here to express my fears, complaints, and excitements, hear what was going on with others and offer help when I could. And, I just liked having a place to chat. 
 
I keep checking in here but it's usually pretty empty. I suspect many of us are mourning with AdalinesMama for her baby Charles. And, most of what I could write now seems superficial and potentially callous in light of her terrible tragedy. But it was also pretty empty around here before then. 
 
 I think there is so much that's fun to chat about and so much to come as our little ones grow big and I'd like to stay in touch with you all-- -first teeth, first words, most annoying habits, annoying things strangers have said to you (I have some good ones for this thread!), sunblock preferences, breastfeeding, making baby food, sex, birth control, siblings, etc...
 
So, I thought I'd ask: should we create a social group or some other forum so we can all stay in touch or have we all moved on? I'm asking it as a poll to facilitate all those one-handed typists but please post a comment too to keep the thread at the top as well as make the decision.

mtn.mama · May 15, 2012

I'm heartbroken for AdalinesMama.... there is not a day that goes by where I don't think of her family. I think it would be great if we can have an indexable forum with realtime chat... preferably not on FB. We need each other.

atomicrocket · May 15, 2012

I miss our ddc and would love a social group <img alt="smile.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/smile.gif">

Ramzubo · May 15, 2012

Quote:
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<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by parsley <a href="/community/t/1353276/do-you-miss-our-ddc-and-want-to-have-a-future-place-to-keep-in-touch#post_16980496"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> I miss our DDC! I loved coming here to express my fears, complaints, and excitements, hear what was going on with others and offer help when I could. And, I just liked having a place to chat. 
 
I keep checking in here but it's usually pretty empty. I suspect many of us are mourning with AdalinesMama for her baby Charles. And, most of what I could write now seems superficial and potentially callous in light of her terrible tragedy. But it was also pretty empty around here before then. 
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I would like a group too. I feel the same about Adalinemama's loss and complaining about something trivial. Her heartbreaking story is on my mind a lot and keeps me being thankful for my lo everyday. But I also have some little issues, especially as a first time mom, and would like to be able to discuss it with others whose babes are in the same age.

Keria · May 16, 2012

I would love to see how all our babes are doing,

slimkins · May 16, 2012

I whole heartedly agree with everyone above. Would love to chat, but feel awkward coming on here for something trivial.

hildare · May 16, 2012

i miss you all and i like playing on the interwebs, so yes.

TeamGR · May 16, 2012

I couldn't have said it better, Parsley! I miss our DDC and chatting, but mourn for Adalinemama's and Charlie and feel awkward about trivialities. I think either a social group or another forum would be excellent.

Momma2Kai · May 16, 2012

Same feelings as everyone else.

parsley · May 17, 2012

Hi everyone!
 
Seems like the current consensus is a social group. It's certainly the easiest to set up and it should make it pretty simple for other DDC members to catch back up whenever they see this thread. 
 
We need to decide if we want the group to be open or closed. And, we need to have (a minimum) of two group leaders. I volunteer to be one. Who else is willing? If we make the group open it seems like the commitment is really minimal. 
 
Here's some info on social groups that I found:
 
Social Groups can be Open or Closed:
Open Membership: Anyone may join by clicking the "Join" button.
Closed Membership: Membership is by approval. Clicking the join button initiates a PM to the Group Leader requesting membership. The Group Leader must approve all new members.
 
How To Start a Social Group
Read the information, guidelines, and rules below.
Post to this thread to propose a new Social Group and apply to be its leader. In your post, include the name of the Social Group and whether it will be open or closed. Each group should have two volunteer group leaders.
 
How Social Groups Work
Social Groups are moderated by a Social Group Leader. Group Leaders are responsible for upholding the integrity of a group by making sure that participation by members follows the <a href="../../a/user-agreement">User Agreement</a>. 
 
Each Social Group will have its own forum and the group page will list the members of the group and include a "Join" button to allow new members to join.
 
All content in all Social Groups is visible to the public, but only group members may contribute content and participate. For example, only members of the "Minnesota Natural Birthers" group can post in the "Minnesota Natural Birthers" group forum or upload photos to its gallery.
 
How to Use Social Groups
After you've joined one or more Groups, they'll show up in a box on your profile page. When you tag Groups, they can be promoted as "Related Groups" in relevant areas of the site in the same way that Related Forum Threads and Related Articles now appear in the right column of various pages.
 
Group Leaders
Group Leaders are the members in charge of a Social Group; the member who creates a Group is the first Lead and may appoint additional Group Leaders.
 
What can a Group Leader do?
 Receive join requests (for closed groups) and approve or deny them.
 Edit the Group description and change the thumbnail image.
 Ban a member, making it impossible for that member to re-join the Group.
 Remove images from the shared gallery.
 Send a PM to all members at once.
 Promote other members to Group Leader (there can be more than one leader in the same Group).
 Demote him/herself to a regular Group member.
 
What a Group Leader can’t do?
 Change the name of the Group 
 Demote another Leader back to a regular member (this must be done by the member or a Mothering Administrator).
 Act as a moderator within the Group forum (e.g., delete/edit others' posts and threads, etc.).

mtn.mama · May 17, 2012

huh. i guess i prefer having a closed group off site. i'm not that interested in having the world able to access our ups and downs, whether or not they are able to comment.
 
it's too hard to stay connected and real without privacy (and with having to submit to a UA).

adorabelle · May 18, 2012

I agree with all of the above too!

1blueheron · May 18, 2012

Yes - voted and still here too, though finding it tough to type these days!

parsley · May 20, 2012

I hear you mtn.mama-- but it seems like to much to make the switch at this point! It's sort of a ghost town around here now. We probably should have started a yahoogroups or something back in December when we were all still around! I'm still open to it but we need some groundswell of support

For a social group... Is there someone else willing to volunteer to be the other group leader?????

Ramzubo · May 21, 2012

Well if no one else is going to volunteer, I'll do it Parsley.

parsley · May 22, 2012

Thanks, Ramzubo! 
 
I'll post a request to start the group soon. It seems from these conversations that those with a preference prefer a closed group. I have a slight preference for that myself. Before I send the request, does anyone want to make an argument for an open group instead?

1blueheron · May 22, 2012

<div class="quote-container">Quote:
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by mtn.mama <a href="/community/t/1353276/do-you-miss-our-ddc-and-want-to-have-a-future-place-to-keep-in-touch#post_16982900"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a> huh. i guess i prefer having a closed group off site. i'm not that interested in having the world able to access our ups and downs, whether or not they are able to comment.
 
it's too hard to stay connected and real without privacy (and with having to submit to a UA).
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so a "closed" group on MDC still let others read just not comment? hmm. that's kind of a bummer.

parsley · May 25, 2012

I'm going to go ahead and request us as a closed group. If things pick up and we want to later, we can then decide to create a private yahoogroup or something like that. Sound good?

Adaline'sMama · May 30, 2012

Hey ladies! I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. But..... 
Please dont feel like you cant post here just because it would make you seem trivial. I'm still a mama, and I know that even though this tragedy has happened I still need to find out about a better laundry detergent to use on DD's diapers, how to handle my family giving her sugar, and all the other "trivial" nonsense we get online for. It's not trivial, it's your life. I still pop in here every now and then, because I did share 9 months with you all and still have a connection to this ddc, even though Charlie is no longer with me. 
On an more uplifting note, I miss Charlie so much every day, and even though it is really hard to go through life without him I am super excited because I just got my BFP! This baby will be due on Feb 9, 2013. There is no ability to replace Charlie, and we know that, but we did still really want a baby- even more so after ours was taken. 
Love you ladies <img alt="smile.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/smile.gif"> 
.

parsley · May 30, 2012

Adaline'sMama! Great to hear from you and great to hear your fabulous news. Many congratulations and tons of hugs. 
 
I know we all felt your loss and mourned with you; I'm so glad to hear that you have been able to find some peace and move on in some ways. I admire your courage.

Do you miss our DDC and want to have a future place to keep in touch?

Should we try to continue our DDC in another forum?

Yes, create a social group.

Yes, other forum

No, I've moved on

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