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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y215/smlwieber/positive.jpg" target="_blank">http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y21...r/positive.jpg</a><br><br>
It's not mine, but from someone in the May DDC. But it brought back such memories from months long past! Oh, the excitement of that first positive test! I can't believe how long it's been. And I can't believe how that excitement so quickly faded in the face of deployment and nausea and has yet to return. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I so wish I could be that excited about this baby again. DH says it's because we aren't able to share in it together that neither of us are really excited. But we actually "tried" for this baby for 7 months. So, you'd think I'd be excited. Anyway, enough about me. It was kind of a neat feeling to see that picture and remember that initial feeling of joy and nerves of what's to come that overtook me when I first saw that +. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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awe--my stomach just got butterflies thinking about that moment. Actually, DH just sent out our updated pregnancy album tonight, which starts out with our positive test--brought back that feeling of disbeliefe that we were becoming parents.<br><br>
So sorry you aren't feeling that excitement right now--but it must be so hard to go through a pregnancy without your partner physically by your side (although he sounds like he is being very supportive from a distance). Hugs!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Okay, now I'm in tears. Between that "awe" feeling you described Tulika. That's exactly what it was! And the cd that is playing right now. It's one I listened to all the time last time dh was gone and I just found it. Ugh. Good tears though. I'm really not depressed. Just overly emotional. Darn pregnancy hormones.
 

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Right there with you hun! ((((HUGS)))) It would be so different if Hubby could be here.....
 

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How could I forget? Especially the 15 minutes after that I spent sitting on the toilet lid crying....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br>
Gosh, I am glad a pregnancy takes a while, I am over the shock and ready for my babe!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Annika, I did the same thing with dd2. But no matter what, whether upset or thrilled, I think that first time you see a positive pregnancy test (I mean the first time with each child), it's just the most amazing moment. Your breath catches. You have the sudden moment of awakening and knowing that it's no longer just you in the room. There's a child within you just beginning their journey. It's exciting and fear-inducing all at the same time! All of that before the moment of reality hits that nausea will hit soon and that you really will have another child to care for that will be totally dependent on you. The moment before your world comes tumbling down or, at the least, reality hits, it's such an amazing moment!
 

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I hear ya! We tried for 5 months for this babe and I celebrated the positive test. Within a couple of weeks I was sick and practically wishing for a miscarriage. Then hubby has to be a nimrod for quite a few months and our relationship has been tested. Now I am sickish again. Money bottomed out on us, my kids have been neglected, the house is in shambles, and I have wondered almost every day WHAT HAVE I DONE?!<br><br>
Though hubby is doing better, and I am finally getting excited again, it's been a stressful ride. But it all started with elation from that first faint positive (and the next and the next and the next until it was dfark enough to believe).
 

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Hubby had gone back to Iraq and I was busy with friends going to some spiritual classes that weekend. That night I was feeling so sick and I could not understand why. A friend went and got me medications. I slept, felt ok, and so we all went to class the next day. Something was off.... and a friend asked if I could be pregnant. Hum.... I was a day or two late but also very stressed and now it seemed, sick. That afternoon on the way home we stopped and got a test. I took it when we got home and put it in my bra so I would not forget it. I forget everything you see. I was talking over dinner soon after with friends and the kids and my friend mentioned I should really have the test laying flat and not in my bra. But honestly I was not thinking clearly just then. Her eyes got big stairing and said sweety your pregnant..... It was shock that hit me. How could I do this without hubby..... How could I have not noticed the night before how sick I was just like all the others. How could I have taken medication for it? Thankfully the kids where clueless as to what we where talking about and I asked my friends to not tell anyone. They didn't. It took me two weeks to tell hubby. LOL He was so thrilled and still is. He has wanted another baby and believes strongly in the power of intention.<br><br>
It has gotten better, I want this baby more, though clearly not as much as others here. I am still trying to connect with baby. I am happy though to have this new little blessing in our lives even if the timing is all wrong and I am sick.<br><br>
This is my storm baby and thinking of baby like a powerful force of nature in my life that I can not really change but can change me helps so much. The babies changing table/dresser is going to be black, as are things I hope to knitt for baby. It is fitting and some how comforting, not morbid as some people think. I have more reverence for this little one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Gina, I know our circumstances are totally different, but there have been so many times on this board that I've felt totally connected with you. We've really gone through a similar rollercoaster of emotions during our pregnancies this time.<br><br>
Kimmy, what a way to find out your pregnant! I think the black is very symbolic and neat. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>scheelimama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9075664"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Gina, I know our circumstances are totally different, but there have been so many times on this board that I've felt totally connected with you. We've really gone through a similar rollercoaster of emotions during our pregnancies this time.</div>
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Awwwww <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">:
 
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