I have eliminated TOs for the most part, I'm realizing that DD will learn to do/not do things in other gentler ways. But today, I was quite angry and jsut had to use a TO. I gave her a bowl of plain pasta with some peas for lunch. Well, she didn't want the peas, I said okay you don't have to eat them, you can take them out. Well, I guess she got frustrated b/c each spoonful still had peas in them. Lately, she's been dumping her plate/bowl onto the table and eating it that way, which she did with the pasta and peas. I didn't make a big deal, but then she proceeded to swipe all of the food onto the floor. It was a huge mess of oily pasta and peas all over. Once again, I didn't make a big deal, but told her she needs to clean it up. I gave her time, I told her I would help her. I have a 10 month old that was going to begin to put everything in her mouth. She said no several times, I got down to her level, told her she was being disrespectful, when she makes a mess that she did on purpose and knows it's wrong that she has to clean it up. I told her that when I make a mess I clean it up. But, she was very defiant, said "nope" to me in such a way, when I was trying my best to be calm, that I raised my voice told her I was very angry and that if she doesn't start cleaning by the time I count to 3, she will have to go in a TO. Before I learned about GD someone told me to put her in her booster seat for a TO, since she can't get out (as opposed to the Supernanny type way to continuosly pick up the kid and put them back in the TO spot). Well, I did this today, because I didn't know what else to do. I *wanted* to punish her. She used to cry in a TO but she didn't even care today. I was going to wait until she was ready to help clean it up but since I have the baby, I couldn't leave it there until after her TO either. So, basically, she never ended cleaning it anyway. I can't *force* her to do what she doesn't want right? What can I do next time?