[Neth Naneth]

Okay, If I know someone that is going to have a boy I tell them don't circ. I give them info of why I don't think you should.

Here is my question though, if you meet someone and they aren't going to be having anymore kids but they did have a boy and did get him circ, you don't say anything right. I have found myself in this situation where I didn't go into gory details of why I don't think you should circ, because what was done was done and I didn't want to make them feel bad, or to put out the energy that the son was going to have problems. It got me thinking though if that situation was to arise again would you tell them that they shouldn't have circ or not?

 

[ErikaLeigh]

I would have fully told them what the done.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

Yes, I think I would because while it may not relate directly to their lives right now, those circumcised children they have currently will grow up to have children of their own most likely and if they are educated about the unnecessary nature of circumcision, they are less likely to insist on it for another generation.

It's planting seeds. Heck, it's more like planting oak trees than sunflowers. The trees take a long while to grow, there's rarely instant gratification...but the idea is there and hopefully the next generation will be able to learn from it.

 

[Quirky]

I think it's also important to try to educate them gently in the here and now, because we all know that people follow the herd and do what their friends and relations have done. The next time that this person is asked their opinion on circ (or volunteers it) because someone she knows is pregnant with a boy, the whole cycle starts right up again. Especially with all the crap in the news these days about circ and HIV. The only way to break it is to try to open people's eyes.

It's really hard, because no one wants to admit they made a mistake, or that it could be a huge mistake that affects their sons for a lifetime. I think it's good to take the approach of "what your doctor didn't tell you," because in most cases parents honestly didn't get the full picture from the health care professionals who took their money to cut their boys.

 

[wendy1221]

I just say I dind't circ mine and give a few reasons. I don't want to make them feel like I'm attacking them, but I like to give them something to think about.

 

[CalebsMama05]

I would tell them. gently...but still tell them.

that is the reason ds1 is circ'd and ds2 is intact.

 

[trmpetplaya]

I would tell them gently. My mom circumcised both of my brothers, she won't be having any more children, but in case the topic ever comes up with her friends or anything it's good that she at least knows that it's not necessary and that there's a lot of information out there that wasn't out there when she was having babies. She can also point people in my direction if they want more info than I gave her.

I did NOT go into any sexual aspects because my parents are fundie Protestants (nothing against them - I love them very much!) and are squeamish about sex talk (don't have sex until you're married or you'll go to hell - end of discussion).

My mom fully understands that it's unnecessary, there are no benefits, there are several risks, it's purely cosmetic, and that it shouldn't be done without first doing much research and consideration. She also knows that I believe the boy should be able to choose circumcision for himself once he turns 18 and that it's not a decision parents should make if they know better at the time.

She also fully supports our decision to never circumcise any of our sons

:

Since she can never take back what she allowed to happen to my brothers (she didn't know any better either) I don't see any reason to harp on it around her. I don't go into my intactivist spiels when she's around.

I would handle it differently depending on the individual circumstances. I know my mom very well and she's prone to depression so I was more gentle with her than I might be with someone who wasn't prone to depression and who might have more interactions with couples of child-bearing age.

But I would be gentle regardless... defensiveness doesn't serve anyone - much less future baby boys.

love and peace.

 

[mamakay]

I usually give them "a look" that expresses my feelings on the issue, and mention that the national average is down to about 50/50 and that the practice has been banned in some countries and mght be here, eventually, as well.

And then I let it go.

 

[QuietTempest]

I've expressed my opinions to other people who have had their sons cut or are pro-circ and intend to have future sons cut. I always get the same response. The "You have no idea what you're talking about" look along with the "Well, his father is cut so..." speech.

I've also posted on other boards (politely, I might add), giving pertinent information and citing sources, but find later that my posts are deleted entirely with no notice.

Some people just don't want to be put in a position where they have to consider something they've done with good intentions for their child is anything but good for that child, I suppose.