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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm curious, for those who do not vaccinate their children(which includes me), do you tell the truth at the ER? Is it easier just to say "yes, he's up to date" then to deal with all the BS that could potentially occur? Fortunately we haven't had any major accidents (knock on wood) that would warrant an ER visit. I just wonder what I would say. Any input/personal stories?<br>
Thanks!
 

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I don't have a personal story, but my friend doesn't vax and they recently took their youngest to the ER. I asked her how the vax discussion went and she said they didn't even ask -- it didn't come up at all... not that I'd count on that... :LOL Personally I plan, in an effort to be more assertive, to state that we don't vax or are delaying (whichever I finally decide) and stand my ground...
 

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I have been to the ER many times with my youngest DS, never with my oldest three, just him.<br><br>
Each time I have been asked about vaxes in the ER, I simply say, "He is completely taken care of." ...and they take that statement the way they want.<br><br>
Here in LA county in CA, USA, even though the law allows for personal exemption, if you tell the ER staff you are not vaxing your child, it is a huge red flag for the medical doctor to start investigating you for all kinds of neglect and is a green light for CPS to start pounding down your front door and checking for all kinds of unimaginitive things.<br><br>
Hilary, if I exhibited an attitude like that ( and I do have an attitude like that) I would end up in jail for 72 hours or more. So much for writ of habeus corpus.
 

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I've been asked a handful of times. I just say "no, by our choice". No one has ever hassled me about, looked at me strange, or made an issue of it. I guess I've been lucky.
 

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Just say you are up to date and let it go at that.<br><br>
Because as far as you are concerned, your child is up to date.
 

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Well one of my boys broke his arm around the same time his brother started having recurrent seizures from vaxing.When the er nurse asked if he was up to date I remember smiling ruefully and saying of course not!She just said i should look into getting a tetnus booster as it was recomended. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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We had our 7 yo dd in the ER last Friday for a severe chicken pox breakout and she couldn't swallow AT ALL.<br>
They didn't ask about vaxxing. If they did, we'd tell the truth
 

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both times i took ds to the er, i told them the truth. c'mon, bring it on, if you think you're not too busy to give me a lecture...i am not afraid of having that discussion with an er nurse!<br>
the first time i had to take ds, the nurse asked me to take of his clothes and then said: "o, he's in clothdiapers. well, i suppose, he doesn't have his shots then..." i just said:" wow, good guess, you're right!"<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> WHAT THE F$&@*!!!!????
 

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"o, he's in clothdiapers. well, i suppose, he doesn't have his shots then..."<br><br>
What a statement ! WOW. At least she didn't hassle you.
 

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So far, other than a little bit of the "lecture" no doc has forced us to vax our child.<br><br>
The nurses, however, are another story. The public health nurse was handing me panflets galore on why vaxes are "good things." :puke This is the same public health nurse that decided to red flag me with CPS over the fact that I decided to go to my friend's place (about an hour and a half by bus away because of the stupid connections. Only 20 minutes by car) because DP was exhausted from being up all night with DS so I could sleep and I was doing him the favour of leaving the house so he could sleep.<br><br>
DS was a week old one day when DP had stayed up all night so I could get my sleep when this nurse called just as I was about to leave the house. She wrote down on my file that I didn't have "realistic expectations of the post partum period." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> Gez... going out to give DP a rest... And to make things worse, my friend is a licensed day care provider and was going to take DS from me for an hour so I could get some much needed rest too and I even told the nurse that! "Why don't you drive over?" DUH, cause I can't use a stick!<br><br>
What am I supposed to do this time with a newborn and an overactive toddler? What expectations should I have this time? Barricade myself in for a week? 2? 20? I felt fine. I was just tired and I was expected. Cause of the call, I was an hour late getting to my friend's place.<br><br>
Nurses are far more judgemental than doctors, imo. But doctors are far more paternalistic and demeaning when they get their ire up.
 

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i never pass up an opportunity to share with ANYONE that fact that we do not vax & inform them of WHY & also the fact that THEY TOO HAVE A CHOICE.<br><br>
however, when asked what my religion is, well-that's another story for another thread. i despise the nerve of some people that feel my choice of religion is necessary to be known so that my religious choice is "valid" or not-GRRRRR.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Since I posted this topic originally, we have had to take my son to the ER (he needed some stitches). While talking to us, the doc asked casually "And your son is up to date on vaccinations, right?" I just said "He's good" and we left it at that. It's interesting, I'm pretty outspoken and don't mind defending our choices, but at the time, I was so much more focused on my bleeding son and tending to him that I really didn't want to make an issue out of non-vaxing. Now, of course, I'm assuming there would have been an issue made out of it even though the doc may have just accepted our decision. Maybe for me, in a situation like that, it's easier to just not get into it. We'll see, hopefully we won't have too many more medical emergencies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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It's been a looooooooong time since one of our kids went to the hospital (knock on wood) but over Christmas I was admitted after an asthma attack. When they were admitting me the nurse asked if I'd had a recent tetanus and pneumonia vaccine. I looked at her funny, asked what those vaccines possibly could have to do with why I was there, and told her no.
 

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Knock on wood we haven't been to the er in awhile, Ironically the last time was for a shot reaction, lovely huh? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"><br><br>
Anyway if I was asked I would tell them no they aren't up to date. If they want to lecture me I can dish it right back <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">.
 

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Does that mean babis in sposies are vaxed? How dumb of a statement was that?! My kid wears both so I guess he's partially vaxed (which is kinda true, he got vaxed at 2 mos and that was it). AJ was in the ER and then admitted to the hospital at 4 mos. We just told the DRs he hadn't gotten them yet, which was a lie I suppose, but he hadn't really. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I now have an exemption I carry around in the diaper bag w/ me that will hopefully keep the uproar to a minimum. If my pediatrician isn't concerned about us not vaxing, some DR I don't even know should care about it.
 

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when asked i tell them they are not vaxxed, and our family dr is aware. it removes the red flag of suspected neglect (one reason i go for the 'well baby' nonsense, albeit as infrequently as possible- i hate getting sick every time we pop in, where do you think we caught our last pertussis & rotavirus?), & after that they've just moved on with the exam, no prob.<br>
suse
 

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If they ask I will answer.<br>
The first time I said she wasnt vaxx'd the Dr told me Morgan would die <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">
 

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As the mother of four active children, I can proudly say that I never needed to take the first three to the ER.<br><br>
Circumstances change, and I found myself a WOHM with #4. DH is not the best kind of babysitter, so I found him and me at the ER many times. Each time, the ER doctor would accuse ME of child abuse and neglect.<br><br>
The first time we went to the ER, I was at work while DH had left a five gallon bucket full of water out on the kitchen floor; DS was learning to stand and was fascinated by this "thing", as babies oten are, so he used it as leverage to stand, and started splashing - and his large head tipped him into the water, head-down, and DH found him, grey and limp. He got him breathing, picked me up at work, and headed for the closest ER. The ER doctor checked him and told us to get him checked within 24 hours with our own pediatrician (Dr. Paul M. Fleiss) for pneumonia; we did - no problem. No one asked about vaccinations.<br><br>
The second time we went to the ER was three months later. My DD, 13, was "watching" DS for a short period of time as I took a shower. Everyone was home. While I was in the shower, I heard a crash and a scream; I ran out wet and naked to my baby who had pulled on a piece of furniture which tipped over on him and hit him on the upper lip (O.K., NOW I know DD is not much of a babysitter either; she never again was left with him); blood was everywhere, and I suspected a broken nose or jaw - his upper front teeth were hanging by strings of tissue outside of his mouth. I threw on some clothes and drove immediately to the same ER (big mistake). There was a different "vibe" this time. The doctor (not the same guy as last time) did not even look at his mouth. He asked as kind of an afterthought if he was up on his vaccinations. I looked at him, puzzled, since he did not even offer a cotton ball for the excessive bleeding from his mouth, and said "Yes, he is completely up-to-date". The doctor had already called the police; he took it upon himself to set me up with his "buddy" in the next building for an appointment -I protested vigorously since I already had a children's pediatric dentist whom I respected for my children, and my own sister is a pediatric dentist from whom I could get advice and help if needed. I did not want or need his referral; he "made me" get on the phone and talk to his buddy, and I agreed to see him (I never did). I later saw this "buddy's" name on the huge donor/benefactor wall in the hospital foyer. Soon DH and I were interrogated separately by police officers. They asked DH what happened and he told them; they asked me where my other children were and I refused to answer this - I knew the next step was to kidnap all of my children and put them into the county foster care system, so I walked away. I called my pediatrician and he said to be sure to leave with DS since getting him back would be extremely problematic. Then DH and I were surrounded by five more police officers who kept us in the room; one of these "pigs" called me a dirty whore and made rude, sexual, inappropriate remarks to me in the presence of my DH; DH was extremely frightened, so he said nothing. We were there for nine hours. His wound was never treated-not even a cotton ball. The police came in a took photographs of DS with DH and some lady pig. DS was still bleeding when we left. My sister, the dentist, told me that doctors consider the mouth "dirty" and the domain of the dentist; it is below them to work in someone's mouth. The ER doctor wrote me a prescription for penicillin after I emphatically told him DS is very allergic to penicillin. I never kept the appointment he set up for me - I went to my own pediatric dentist ASAP. One of the ER nurses sweetly came up to me as I prepared to leave and asked how I liked Dr. Paul M. Fleiss as a pediatrician - I was so angry I told her to, "f*** o** and myob!". I later discovered that the police had called my home and demand of my babysitter to talk to my children while I was at the hospital. My children told them the same story my DH told them. I was visited in a follow-up interview by CPS six months later at home. This woman never produced any identification, and I filed a complaint against her; the office just laughed at me.<br><br>
I filed internal affairs complaints against the officers since they had lied in the report they wrote. I filed complaints with the BMQA against the ER doctor. Nothing ever came of this. I refused to pay the bill they sent me.<br><br>
Ironically, I received a fundraising letter from this hospital. They got my opinion of their ER instead.<br><br>
Two years ago at the age of ten, my DS broke his arm and I took him to the ER where he told his own story to the ER doctors (he had fallen off of his scooter). The ER doctor examined his X-ray and looked me straight in the eye and said, "His story is inconsistent with the pattern of his break..." He said the break was more consistent with a baton beating than a fall. Calling my DS and me a liar! Calling me a childbeater! Again, we were asked about vaccinations; again, yes, we are up to date! As far as we are concerned we are up to date! Thank you very much.<br><br>
So, when I go the ER, yes, we are all up to date. Thank you very much! I do not need more problems.
 
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