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I'm so torn about homeschooling my dd vs. putting her in public school. I hate the way public school is ran and honestly, my only reasons for wanting to send her are that I worry that she's going to "miss out" on things like having lots of friends, field trips, sports, choir, band, etc.... I know some of those things are things I can do with her at home but it doesn't feel the same. I guess my ideal would be to home school her through 8th grade or so and then let her experience High School.<br><br>
This probably sounds dumb to those that homeschool. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I just wonder if she's going to always wish she would've been able to be in sports or stuff like that. I was in private school for most of my schooling years and I hated it. I begged my mom to let me go to public school and she finally allowed me to in 11th grade. I loved it and I was so bummed that I was never able to be in sports or choir. I guess that's my fear is that my dd will be disappointed that she wasn't able to do those things.<br><br>
The homeschooling group here does have quite a bit to do but I don't think you're allowed to be in sports, not that I'm aware of anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
I just really don't know what to do. It seems like such a minor thing but yet it is a concern of mine.
 

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I don't think it's dumb. It's a big decision and it's hard not to have some doubts. I also don't think there's anything wrong in noting the positives of going to school. I think having a realistic picture of all your options is important.<br><br>
I worry about it a little but not very much now that we are into hs. I think more about what I'm not doing because I'm hsing than about what they're not doing because of it, I guess. They seem perfectly happy.
 

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I do think about what my kids miss out on by not attending school. But I also acknowledge that they'd miss out on a lot of fun stuff if they went to school.<br><br>
I'm not committed to HSing forever. Right now it works for us. If my kids decide that they are missing out on the social or other opportunity that school affords (especially when they are high school age), they will be free to choose to go to school.
 

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One thing I am starting to realize is that a lot of the "fun" stuff I remember from school was only fun at the time because it was so different from the bulk of school time! Yeah, it was such a blast playing "7-up" in the classroom on a class party day, but only in contrast to the day-to-day drudgery. And field trips - the best thing about them was that they were NOT school, right?<br><br>
We do stuff every week in hs that would have counted as a once-a-year treat in ps!
 

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keep in mind that not all schools offer extracurricular sports. Our NYC pschools don't offer anything. IF we want baseball, basketball etc, we go to neighborhood leagues. I do remember enjoying being part of the teams in my rural ps though. I think the decision to hs would have been much tougher on me if our ps schools here had more to offer. Check and see if there are some summer league sports available in your community. might be a way to give her the team experience without having to go through the school system.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm so torn about homeschooling my dd vs. putting her in public school. I hate the way public school is ran and honestly, <b>my only reasons for wanting to send her are that I worry that she's going to "miss out" on things like having lots of friends, field trips, sports, choir, band, etc.... I know some of those things are things I can do with her at home but it doesn't feel the same.</b> I guess my ideal would be to home school her through 8th grade or so and then let her experience High School.<br><br>
This probably sounds dumb to those that homeschool. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I just wonder if she's going to always wish she would've been able to be in sports or stuff like that. I was in private school for most of my schooling years and I hated it. I begged my mom to let me go to public school and she finally allowed me to in 11th grade. I loved it and I was so bummed that I was never able to be in sports or choir. I guess that's my fear is that my dd will be disappointed that she wasn't able to do those things.<br><br>
The homeschooling group here does have quite a bit to do but I don't think you're allowed to be in sports, not that I'm aware of anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
I just really don't know what to do. It seems like such a minor thing but yet it is a concern of mine.</div>
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I really want to address the part I bolded. My unschooled kids have been in: choir, tap class, ballet class, soccer, tennis lessons (that I teach to our homeschooling group), Great Books discussion group, pottery class, vaudeville acting class, yet another acting class, piano lessons all of which, except the tennis, have been taught outside of the home through the park district or local dance studios, or libraries where the kids engage with other non-homeschooled kids in the neighborhood. Those are the lessons/classes so far.<br><br>
Our field trips the last year have been to: a GM assembly plant where we got a tour of the plant and saw all of the workers and robots and assembly lines, a behind the scenes tour of Trader Joe's (they have 4 artists on staff to make the signage!), a behind the scenes tour of our library, Peggy Notebart Nature Museum, the Art Institute, the Field Museum (where we saw the Mayan pottery and then the kids made their own pottery and sketched a huge Aztec calendar), a forest preserve where the kids and I were quiet and slow enough to get within 15 ft. of a young deer nibbling on the grass (that was thrilling--the kids eyes were so shiny with joy of the connection between them and the deer), a play that one of the girls in our homeschooling group was in, a tap show featuring Mr. Taps!, and in October my husband and I took our kids for 11 days to London, England.<br><br>
A good number of those field trips would be impossible with a big group--the library tour, the Trader Joe's tour, the forest preserve where the kids and I saw the deer--and many of those field trips were fun because they were open-ended. The kids didn't HAVE TO seek out something they were supposed to write about for class, or carry a hand out with questions to answer. They could take time and make their pottery, sketch the Aztec calendar, commune with a deer. Have you seen school kids on a field trip in a museum? They are all hustled along from one area to another in a lot of noise without really seeing the exhibits very well. It's a different experience than when kids are there with a small group, or their own family taking in whatever the museum offers in their own way and being able to linger on the things that hold their interest and continue on when they are ready.<br><br>
If you homeschool, you can go on as many field trips as you like, whenever you want. My homeschool group has two field trips scheduled per month that we all plan. That's 24 a year. In addition, I take the kids with me everywhere just as we're living, but we also take special trips to fun places. My kids are not field trip deprived or lesson/class deprived.<br><br>
My kids also have very deep friendships with the kids in our homeschooling group--they get a lot of time to play and share experiences. But, they also have friends on their soccer teams and dance classes who are not homeschooled. The idea that kids would be isolated by homeschooling is just such a misplaced, false impression. I suppose there could be kids who aren't involved in any outside activities, and maybe that would be OK, like in a rural area, or if money was lacking for classes etc. (but even then the library has many free things to do, for example), but all of the homeschoolers I know are involved in many things because they can be and want to be.<br><br>
I think my kids are getting a very rich, stimulating education.<br><br>
If your daughter wants to be on a sports team of some sort, there are loads of ways to find that experience for her. You can be her facilitator, you don't have to think of yourself as her sole teacher. She can have lots of places that she learns from, and with more and more people homeschooling, there are more and more support groups.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Two or three weeks ago I looked out the window of my minivan and saw a bunch of preschoolers out for a walk. They were all in a little line, holding onto loops on a rope and for a fleeting instant I thought "my 4-year-old is missing out on that." And then I realized that my 4yo was at that instant sitting behind me in the minivan playing number-guessing games with her 13yo sister, having just made an adventurous transit through the Canadian Rocky Mountains, swum in a hotel pool, and played violin for one of the top violin teachers in the province, and was on her way to go ice-skating, and then on to a great little ethnic restaurant with some family friends who dote on her. And none of this would have happened if we weren't a homeschooling family.<br><br>
You worry about the school stuff your dd will miss because that's what you know, it's what you experienced growing up. If she was in school you wouldn't worry about the home-learning stuff she would miss, because you don't know about it. But I'm here to tell you, you're right, it's just not the same doing stuff in a homeschool context -- it's not the same at all, it's way better! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbsup"><br><br>
Miranda
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>moominmamma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9899635"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Two or three weeks ago I looked out the window of my minivan and saw a bunch of preschoolers out for a walk. They were all in a little line, holding onto loops on a rope and for a fleeting instant I thought "my 4-year-old is missing out on that." And then I realized that my 4yo was at that instant sitting behind me in the minivan playing number-guessing games with her 13yo sister, having just made an adventurous transit through the Canadian Rocky Mountains, swum in a hotel pool, and played violin for one of the top violin teachers in the province, and was on her way to go ice-skating, and then on to a great little ethnic restaurant with some family friends who dote on her. And none of this would have happened if we weren't a homeschooling family.<br><br>
You worry about the school stuff your dd will miss because that's what you know, it's what you experienced growing up. If she was in school you wouldn't worry about the home-learning stuff she would miss, because you don't know about it. But I'm here to tell you, you're right, it's just not the same doing stuff in a homeschool context -- it's not the same at all, it's way better! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbsup"><br><br>
Miranda</div>
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Not to take your concerns lightly, but ... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
Blessings on your way, whatever way it turns out to be!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lauradbg</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9899496"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I really want to address the part I bolded. My unschooled kids have been in: choir, tap class, ballet class, soccer, tennis lessons (that I teach to our homeschooling group), Great Books discussion group, pottery class, vaudeville acting class, yet another acting class, piano lessons all of which, except the tennis, have been taught outside of the home through the park district or local dance studios, or libraries where the kids engage with other non-homeschooled kids in the neighborhood. Those are the lessons/classes so far..............<br>
.............If your daughter wants to be on a sports team of some sort, there are loads of ways to find that experience for her. You can be her facilitator, you don't have to think of yourself as her sole teacher. She can have lots of places that she learns from, and with more and more people homeschooling, there are more and more support groups.</div>
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I just want to second this. My kids participate in all kinds of extracurricular activities. They play on soccer and cheer teams through private orgs, take tennis lesson through parks and rec, tumbling and gymnastics at a local gymnatics gym and basketball classes at the community center, do art programs put on by cooperative extention, volunteer as child care at parenting group and play in band at school (there is also a homeschool orchestra). None of these were specifically homeschool related so we also have things like homeschool classes, open gym, science fairs, park days and holiday parties. Our group does field trips once and awhile but it's rare because the kids in our group are so busy it's hard to coordinate times. There is a big, region wide program that sets up feild trips for homeschoolers so we could do more if we wanted to.<br><br>
There is very liitle that school can offer that you can't get elsewhere.
 

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Not really. But yes, sometimes. Not for my teen so much, but for my younger child. The school my ds attends has a bunch of interesting things going on that I know my dd would love. We have a lot of freinds at this school, too. We love hsing, and we are blessed to have a nice hsing group and my 8 yr old is very self-motivated and always has good ideas. We have a lot of freedom, and we live near major cities, so we can get that sort of 'enrichment' whenever we want. We also attend theater events each week (special Young People's preformaces). I know she is not lacking, and has a ton of freedom.<br><br>
But still, there are things going on at this school that are pretty magical (and I wouldn't have to do so much legwork). The young kids at the the school attend the same theater program, fi. I know she would enjoy it.<br><br>
So while I don't think she is 'missing' much, I do think the tone and excitement at the school would be a nice experience without much down side (no busy work, no bullying, no cafeteria food, lots of art, music and enrichment, lots of community participation, I trust the adults there 100%, my dd is very social & flexible etc...).<br><br>
I actually don't like thinking about it much as we are quite content with our hsing life.
 

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I think many have the same worries as you mainly because they just don't have any experience with hsing.<br>
Once you actually get into the hs liefstyle you may be very surprised at how much MORE your child gets to do and will see that she's not missing out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Even without an active hs network, many hsers take advantage of sports, music, or art thru the school system or find that the city recreation system has offerings too.<br><br>
I think it's one of those things that you just have to "jump in with both feet" to see for yourself.<br>
Good luck
 

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This may not be the case for your family, but for ours the worry with extracurricular activies while homeschooling is cost. With 8 children and one on the way money is always tight, but yet I don't want the kids to miss out. We can't afford dance or Tae Kwon Do lessons for all the kids but we find other things that they are interested in.<br><br>
The first thing I did this year was join the homeschooling support group in our area for $20 a year. They have at least 2 field trips a month, a free (award winning) speech and debate club and a free tri athlete club that my kids participate in. They offer many other activities that we having joined because we just don't have time. Our homeschooling group also was able to convince a local private school to allow members to participate in their football team and possibly other sports next year.<br><br>
My ds 8 is in cub scouts which after the initial cost isn't much at all. He also just began taking archery lessons at the local archery store for $5 a lesson once a week, now the equipment can get really expensive but for now the bow and arrows are provided. All the instructors are former state champions and one of the girls that takes the lessons is the 3x national champion for her age group.<br><br>
Some other things to look for are free days at local museums, check the parks and rec department for kids activites that are free or low cost, the libary here always has things going on for all ages.<br><br>
And the best part is that you can choose your time to go places or to go on field trips when it is least crowded and you and your child can enjoy everything more.
 

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In terms of missing out on extracurricular activities, I think it would depend on where you are. The homeschooling groups where we live are great at organizing a wide variety of activities- sports, music, martial arts, science fairs, performing arts recitals, etc. Also, if there is something not currently being offered that you have an interest in, you can always try to organize it yourself and you might be pleasantly surprised at how many hs-ers will also want to participate.
 

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My family isn't into sports (in fact, one of the reasons we loved homeschooling is not being forced to particpate in sun-beating-down-on-your-head, waiting-in-line-for-hours school sports days!), but we've done tons on extracurricular activities over the years. Between us, that I can remember: ballroom dancing, gymnastics, sign language, cooking/waitressing, pottery, ceramic painting, singing and choir, nannying, pet care, quilting, speech and drama (twice), library clubs, swimming, pastels, still life drawing (both taught by locally famous artists), piano, violin, guitar, science fairs, history fairs, St John's first aid course, cake decorating... My three little sisters, who are still homeschooling, have been helping Mum organise a Christmas craft display at church. They've been sewing, stamping, painting, decorating, making miniature Nativity scenes out of clothespegs and plasticine and the like... having a great time, and exhibiting far more creative skills than most kids their age. (I was a little astounded to see my eight-year-old sister casually helping Mum stitch beads onto a quilt! How come I never got to do stuff like that? Right, I was in school).<br><br>
Then, some of my family went on a 3-week holiday recently, during the school term. They travelled around some of the historic sites of NZ (it was news to me that NZ actually had any historic sites, but not to worry), went to gorgeous little eclectic art shops, and got to experience rural living in an almost-free holiday home run by a Christian couple for the benefit of impoverished holidayers. If you tried to pull a stunt like that with your kids in public school, there'd be all sorts of letters and nastiness about the legality of it, and how far behind your kids would be when they got back, and make-up tests and missing out on X day, etc, etc...<br><br>
In contrast, the only field trip I can really remember from school was a trip to an estuary, which I hated because my folder got all muddy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> Oh, and a trip to a museum which I found utterly creepy (and still do this day; I have a Thing about museums, but that's another story).<br><br>
My family has never remotely been rich (six kids, one income which is the salary of a small-church pastor; go figure), but somehow we managed. I'm honestly not sure how. My little sister, who has autism, probably had some of her holiday programmes, play therapy, speech therapy etc funded by the Government. Some of the courses were 'taster' courses from Uni or Polytech; others were almost-free homeschooly activities; some were once-off, pay-$10-at-the-door type things.
 

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My dd is 18 and was always HS'd she hasn't expressed any regrets. And she did participate in some school extra curricular activities like carnivals ect by going with friends that were schooled. But we are unschoolers, it's a very different learning experience to be able to a self directed learner vs being forced to learn something on an arbitrary time table.<br><br>
Additionally IMO the negatives of school socialization are enough in itself to HS through high school.
 

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My kids (16, 13 & 7) have never felt that they've missed out by not being in school. Actually, they feel lucky to not have to be in school and they don't measure their lives against what school kids are doing. When they have an interest in doing something, we find a way to make it happen. They're been involved in many group activities, field trips, etc. Missing out has never been an issue.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't think it's dumb. It's a big decision and it's hard not to have some doubts. I also don't think there's anything wrong in noting the positives of going to school. I think having a realistic picture of all your options is important.<br><br>
I worry about it a little but not very much now that we are into hs. I think more about what I'm not doing because I'm hsing than about what they're not doing because of it, I guess. They seem perfectly happy.</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annethcz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9899205"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do think about what my kids miss out on by not attending school. But I also acknowledge that they'd miss out on a lot of fun stuff if they went to school.<br><br>
I'm not committed to HSing forever. Right now it works for us. If my kids decide that they are missing out on the social or other opportunity that school affords (especially when they are high school age), they will be free to choose to go to school.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Arduinna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9902453"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But we are unschoolers, it's a very different learning experience to be able to a self directed learner vs being forced to learn something on an arbitrary time table.</div>
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Yes to that! I agree with the others who shared that it's totally possible to help your children pursue the things they want to pursue as a homeschooler. But the really wonderful thing is, adding those activities into your life isn't the stress-packed marathon it is for many public-school families.<br><br>
My friends with kids in public school, talk about the large amounts of homework their kids (even as young as 1st or 2nd grade) bring home each day. That's after spending 7 hours in school ... they can't get all their work done there and they have to bring it home with them! So most evenings it's dinner, homework, MAYBE a little TV or play time, bath, bed.<br><br>
Then whatever extracurricular activities the kids are in, are just slapped onto an already hectic afternoon and evening, or they're "fillers" for the weekend, making it rare that the family ever has even one day where there's no "agenda."<br><br>
So, when Arduinna talks about the "arbitrary time table" -- I think not just about the arbitrary requirement that everyone a certain age is supposed to be doing certain prescribed things, but about the arbitrary jerking away of all the free, open-ended time to just hang out and enjoy your family and your own thoughts.<br><br>
I'm reminded of the Winnie the Pooh movie where Christopher Robin explains that he's growing up, and he's not going to be able to do "just nothing" any longer. To me, unschooling means "We're free to do 'just nothing' evermore."
 

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I have 2 kids in school and one at home. I know full well that she's not missing out on anything but busywork, subjects that don't interest her, getting up earlier than her body clock is set to, and overstimulation in a classroom environment.<br><br>
She gets plenty of "field trips" and friends through the local homeschool group.<br><br>
We don't, however, see these kids daily. She does fine seeing them 1-3X a week- which my 13yo wouldn't be happy with (but then she's used to being in school and might have felt differently if she'd been HSed since kindergarten.)
 

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In Florida, homeschooled students are ALLOWED to participate in any clubs, sports or choirs that are in the public schools, so if my son decides he wants to play football or be in the marching band, he will be able to go and do that. In the meantime, my children participate in or have taken or could take homeschool sports, homeschool art, homeschool art club, homeschool tennis, homeschool yoga, homeschool music class, two different homeschool science classes, homeschool gymnastics & homeschool tumbling...weekly homeschool group get-togethers, 1-3 field trips a month (public schools have 1-2 per year here), Roots & Shoots, 4H marine biology, homeschool girl scouts, homeschool history class, boys club, girls club...and more.... Oh and my children have taken regular old community soccer with the general population. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> And my eldest is just 8.<br><br>
I have to cap their birthday party invitation lists to 25 because I just can't afford to have more than that..and the children are ALL homeschoolers!!<br><br>
When I took DS out of public school, my initial sadness and worry was over his kindergarten yearbook. I used to sit and look at it and cry because it was so sweet and if we homeschooled, how would he get a yearbook with which to reminisce over his school years?!? Then it hit me, well, I could head up a committee and make one. And this is the third year that I have been on our homeschool group yearbook committee and it is SSOO much fun!! And DS and DD are in the yearbook WAY MORE TIMES than any public schooled child is in theirs.<br><br>
So no, I don't think my children miss ANYTHING good not being in public school, but I often feel sad for the public schooled children I know who don't have nearly enough time to do all the fun stuff that we do. And so do my children. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 
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